depressed

LegacyUser

Yeah i think i am, i've dropped out of college and failed totally. i'm pretty sure i'm going bald at 19 years of age, i am small and kinda ugly. i have zero self-esteem and am quickly distancing myself from any friends i had and society in general.
i have become so paranoid about my appearance i can barely talk to people. i am snappy at everone and i get frustrated so easilyi tried to get a job but all summer jobs are pretty much taken so i just mope around the house all day. i stay up till about 4.30 or 5.00 on the computer and then don't get up till around three.
my life is ****.what would you do...

Evil Phil

Yeah I think you are too.

The Aware Helpline – 1890 303 302. Aware are an organisation that helps people with depression. Have a look at their website too http://www.aware.ie/.

And try not to dispair, things can and will improve.

Sleepy

What would I do? Give myself a kick up the arse and go get a job. I've always been able to find work no matter how many rejections you get the thing is to just keep plugging away at it. Keep handing out CV's until someone gives you a job. I sent out in excess of 200 CV's to get a job after leaving college and I got one I'm pretty happy with in the end.

If you think you're going bald, try regaine. From what I hear, it's quite effective.

You're withdrawing into a timeframe when you spend most of your time alone. I've done the same myself and it's not healthy. Get out of bed early in the morning, print off some CV's and don't allow yourself to come home until lunch. The weather is so good these mornings that it alone will heighten your mood.

Best of luck!

Aurther Hugh

I agree, try changing your routine; go to bed earlier and get up really early. Being in a routine out of sync with the rest of the world is proven to put a real strain on your well-being. Get out for a bit of exercise, read some books promoting positivity (cheesy but some have great tips for pulling you out of dark periods). Most people go through patches like this at one stage or another in their lives, and you just gota give yourself a bit of a shake. You're 19, the world is yours for the taking, you're at a stage where you can anything is possible, make plans ! And as for your appearance, I know if I focused on it all the time , I'd barely make it out the door ! Try going easy on yourself, it might be something you'll have to work at but you definitely have it in you to set yourself free from this.

Battlesnake

First off, everything is *ok* and is not half as bad as you think it is.
You have not failed totally. Your life isn't over. You are 19.
You obviously have the qualifications/ability to get into college right?
Some people at 45 don't even have that!
I know exactly how you feel, I've messed up at school and have no qualifications. I have to start at the bottom and I'll be your age in a month. You're way ahead of me!
Instead of focusing on the fact that you dropped out, maybe you should ask yourself why it happened. . . . . was it not really what you wanted to do, did you devote too much of yourself to other things, did something traumatic happen ie. a death, were you feeling so down that you couldn't face things, pressure too much?

As for going bald, it can be sexy as long as you're not all old and wrinkly as well!
Use it as an advantage, think of it positively. Other men wouldn't have the balls to be proud of their bald head, but you can be. . . . besides for all anyone else knows - you could have just shaved it off. Aternatively you could just become funky hat guy, if you feel that self conscious about it.
Ur small - so what? Your size doesn't determine how big a man you are, it's the way you live your life that does that. You may think you're ugly but someone out there could think you're the most beautiful person in the world. Each to their own.
Did you ever get bullied or have someone make nasty comments to make you feel so down on youself?

I run away from life too when I feel really bad. The thing is I know that it only makes things worse. Avoiding phonecalls, not leaving the house - sound familar.
Try and talk to the people close to you, explain to them how you're feeling. If you don't want to go out mad socialising then don't. Go for a walk, cinema something simple. Even just have a mate round for a chat. There are people who love you and would only be too glad to help. The hard bit is asking.

I think maybe it might be a good idea to get some councelling if this continues to be a problem for you. If you can't afford private and can't get to see someone through the health care route. Then try www.samaritans.org
It may be a sound bit daunting. But they're really sound and are there to help regular people like you and me sort through the crap life throws at us.

Sounds to me that you have a lot of anger and emotion built up inside you that you need to work through. Ignoring it will only make it grow.

I agree with the others that getting a routine together for yourself is of great importance. Just write down a few things that you would like to achieve each day along with a structure for when you're to get up and go to bed.

If you can't find work but need to get out of the house then volunteer work might be somthing to think about. Maybe work in an animal shelter (being around them can be comforting in times of distress) or something like that. Perhaps you could look at volunteer work further away from home. Give you a chance to get some head space and gain some prospective, plus you'd meet a bunch of really nice people along the way. . . .

That's all I can say. . . . . your life is what you make it
I hope things get better for you and that you start to feel a lot happier with things
Best of luck
Big hug
BS

spooiirt!!

blah blah blah.

SheroN

one more coment like that spooirt and you're banned.

Victor

Originally posted by tired
i'm pretty sure i'm going bald at 19 years of age,

Get a number one hair cut, no one will know any better.

The Muppet

Originally posted by tired
Yeah i think i am, i've dropped out of college and failed totally. i'm pretty sure i'm going bald at 19 years of age, i am small and kinda ugly. i have zero self-esteem and am quickly distancing myself from any friends i had and society in general.
i have become so paranoid about my appearance i can barely talk to people. i am snappy at everone and i get frustrated so easilyi tried to get a job but all summer jobs are pretty much taken so i just mope around the house all day. i stay up till about 4.30 or 5.00 on the computer and then don't get up till around three.
my life is ****.what would you do...

I read this forum quite a bit but seldom reply because Its hard to tell if the posts are genuine or not. Yours is either genuine or you know the sympthoms.

College is not for everyone and just becaus you've dropped out does not make you a failure. Lots of people have done so and gone on to have sucessful lives.

If you are worried about your apparent hair loss why not shave it off totally? As you know lots of 19 year olds shave their heads and it looks fine. Everyones different and when you're at a low ebb it easy to find fault with yourself, don,t bother putting much emphasis on your appearance. Once you are clean and tidy people will accept you for the person you are and not what you look like, those that dont are shallow people and not worth bothering about.

Being snappy and getting frustrated and taking to you bed are all classic signs of depression. Assuming it is family you are being snappy with have you tried talking to them about how you are feeling? You can do a lot to help yourself in fact recognising the problem and looking for advice is a step in the right direction. Only you know how black these moods are and you may need medical assistance to help over come you problems. Having a mental Illness is no different from any other ailment so don't let any perceived stigma prevent you from seeking professional help if you feel you need it. If you are not ready for that step try and get out in the sunshine as much a possible, you may be suprised how a nice walk in the park will lift you. Have another go at getting a job , most people find it hard to get work it's not a bad relection on themselves, keep trying and you'll get there.


You have taken the first step in sorting things out, there are thousand of people in this country experiencing the same feelings as yourself ,You are not alone. If you feelings persist see your Doctor who will put in contact with the proper people to help you .

Good Luck

Tom