guy trouble

LegacyUser

hey!
Im in need of some advice.
Basically i had a friend who i could totally trust and depend on he helped me through alot of problems but recently i have started going out with this other guy and my friend hasnt been the same. I know for a fact that he doesnt fancy me and ive tried to ask him whats wrong but we barely talk anymore hes even beginning to ignore me.
i havent got a clue what to do.
any advice?

ShriekingSheet

Im a guy and my best friend is a girl

I know what it's like to be going out with a girl who's best friend is a guy so I kinda see where your coming from.

I reckon the best thing is prob to ensure to set aside time for your best mate (alone, not with others- at least not with your boyf!!) and really make him the centre of your attention for a few hours! He's your pal so he's allowed be grumpy and moany in return for your affection but just leave him to it and you carry the conversation with a big smile - he'll come around! Don't bother getting into the 'what's wrong' stuff - he obv just misses being your number 1 guy but he'll get over it - he'll have to! Im just saying make him feel like your number one guy for just a few hours a week and he'll be happy.

Good luck with it

LegacyUser

Hmm sounds very familiar to me

Are you sure this guy friend of yours doesnt have a thing for you and just isnt admitting it? Just out of interest how do you know _for a fact_ ? Seems strange to me that he's changed all of a sudden as soon as you've started going out with another fella.

My advice is that if ye're such good friends is sit him down and put it to him, "What the hell is up". Explain what you see as being the problem. He will know what you're talking about and ye can talk about it.

I also think ShriekingSheets plan is good.

LegacyUser

I know for a fact that he doesnt like me in that way because we have talked about it before. I just dont know what his problem is because im making an effort to talk to him and hes just ignoring me or being really mean e.g the other day i was telling him stuff and he just slagged me off and said he didnt care. Hes changed, normally hes fun and caring but it seems to me that hes changed.
Next time I see him im going to have a word because its getting me down.
thanks for your help.

MoosemaN

I think it is going to be hard to get him to admit that he has feelings for you.

If he would admit then he would be a threat for your current boyfriend and you might feel that is not good for you to meet him for a while.

LegacyUser

its difficult to see what would have made this guy change so suddenly, other than him having feelings for you, if the only variable thats changed is that you now have a boyfriend.

The only thing I could find myself doing in this situation (no matter how good a friend he is) is sit him down and ask him what the problem is (you'll have a good idea if he's being truthful or not)

Also one must wonder does your friend know your new boyfriend (well? at all?) coz that could have something to do with it too..

Miguel_Sanchez

Maybe he's jealous of you. He could have a thing for your new boyfriend.

Now I know I don't know him or you (or your new boyfriend) but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I'm pretty sure that's what's going on.

In fact I'm 100% sure.

He's definitely got a thing for him.

No doubt about it.

None.

At all.

(I should have my own column I'm so good at this ****)

LegacyUser

Yeah my boyfriend and my friend are pretty close friends. ive been talking to my friend, things seem to be improving.

Typedef

Originally posted by snax
hey!
Im in need of some advice.
Basically i had a friend who i could totally trust and depend on he helped me through alot of problems but recently i have started going out with this other guy and my friend hasnt been the same. I know for a fact that he doesnt fancy me a

Yeah because a) you read minds and b) girls never think that they 'boy-friends' are anything other then 'just-friends' despite the fact that men 'never' think this way and c) you're totally infallable.

So since we've put that to bed....

I know for a fact that he doesnt like me in that way because we have talked about it before.

You : Do you fancy me
Him : Inwardly cowering at the prospect of being shot down by you 'mumbles/laughs' of course not, while crying into his pillow at night.

What, who, he, she... yeah... why do people 'never' accept this really repititous man-woman paradigm?

Typedef : Boggled.

banquo

Im a guy.

he likes you !


that or he misses being your number 1 guy (as someone else said). guys are much more jealous creatures than are girls, and even if he doesnt technically fancy you its still possible that hes all green on the inside.

is it possible that in the beginning he fancied you, but you's got to be friends etc etc?

LegacyUser

No my friend is not gay he has a lovely girlfriend. I had a thing for him when i first met him but him and his girlfriend have been going out for about 6 years. So its pretty serious. I think he just wants some attention because we were so close.

LegacyUser

snax...

Glad things are improving.. Just like to say its scary how similar a situation this is to mine.. I'd be interested to see how many other ppl on these boards have been in a similar situation at some stage or other..

Anywhoo.. Fingers crossed and hope it all works out for all of us!