*Winter

Focalbhach

Winter

You know on winter mornings, when the wind
Is just…nice,
Pleasant, if you like that kind of thing - brisk, but not
Too sharp. Cold, but
Not numbing. It makes you feel alive.
That's what you do to me.
It seems so peaceful, so simple; so natural;
But always with that bite.

Strange, isn't it? The effect one person can have.
Small, but such power!
You make me feel like a winter's morning
When the wind races through the sparse roadside trees,
Their budless fingers grasping and clutching
At the bright white heights which they know they cannot hold.



First poem I've ever written....I was in a pensive mood a couple of nights back so I figured I'd set it down on paper and put some direction on it

Criticism would be appreciated. I'm also toying with "you" in place of "one person" (and maybe ditching the "isn't it?" in that case so it reads better) - could give it another dimension.

And you can kinda ignore the title, I'm not mad about it. Thoughts?

Hardy

Leto, I'd be the last person to give a critique of your poem because I can't write poetry.

But I have to say that I really liked it. i really liked how you describe cold winter mornings. You know what I thought when I read it, Robert Frosts, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. That thought just popped up into my mind.

Its very poignant.

BEAT

good grief, how you ever thought this poem reminded you of Robert Frosts is beyond me...when was the last time you read it?

sorry, I do not dislike your poem Leto...I would say it was "nice"

You offer nice detail to the coldness and link from nature to woman...I would say to expand on that though...sticking more with the linking of coldness to womens shrewdness and nature to womens love etc... but try not to make references in it like...what you do to me...it makes it sound like a love note you passed to a girl in school. It has the beginnings of a lovely poem though.

Thanks for sharing

Hardy

Hi Beat, em, not sure - think it was the sparse roadside trees that made me think Robert Frost! The whole aura of coldness.
Perhaps in my mind, I reference cold with snow. Couple that with trees and I got Robert Frost.
Hes one of my fav poets so I know that poem quite well.

People see different things!