Relationship problem

LegacyUser

First off thanks for reading the post and sorry if it doesn’t make any sense its just making sense to me now[I hope]
So the problem is I met this girl 2 months ago at a party, we hit it off and met a few times after, both of us were doing exams and only got to meet about once a week [in a pub] with normally friends of hers there so we weren’t very close and we just talked to the other people at the table [not like a couple at all], so we wouldn’t really get time together alone till I would walk her home then we would be more intimate and I enjoyed spending time with her then.
We were talking about it the other night and she was saying that she liked me and that when she sees me she wants to be with me but when we are apart she doesn’t really find the compulsion to txt me or ring me [I kind of felt this too but I was ignoring it as I did want to be with her]. It’s always me who arranges to meet her; I would have to invite myself to where she was going to see her. She hasn’t really had any relationships worth talking about before [even though she is very good looking]. I would really like to go out with her properly but its hard as she is very distant when we are apart [no pun intended] and she also doesn’t really want to get tied down so young [we are both in our early 20's] but yet she still want to meet me and doesn’t want to break up.
So I am thinking that it’s just a physical thing at the moment because we haven’t had time alone, been so busy with exams and work, that we haven’t gotten to know each other that much or spent that much time alone with each other. So I am thinking that we should try spent more time together and get to know each other more and then we will want to meet each other more. But seen as she doesn’t want to get tied down do you think this would make her nervous if we started hanging around a lot together.
Anyone ever had this type of problem before? Any help would be much appreciated.

Red Alert

Yes i know what you mean. Whether you have anything in common with her in a non-sexual way is what you have to find out. Fact is I met someone back in november, got on fine, great looking but we had very little in common. I was quite good friends with my present g/f long before we ever started going out so we've got quite a big compulsion to ring/text one another. Just figure out if the two of you can relate non-sexually and then you'll know if it's worth it.

LegacyUser

Well thing is we do have things in common, we are very alike. When we are together its wonderful I just don’t want to freak her out by forcing a relationship onto her, but I still want to see her more. Its just strange not feeling the need to contact someone you like when you’re not with them.
Every other relationship I have had we always text/rang each other and met up the whole time, we would get to know each other really well. She is afraid of getting into a relationship that would tie her down as she is very ambitious and adventurous [as am I] so I think this would be cool as we could do things/go places together. But she is still iffy about going out with someone [well loosing them more than anything] and letting someone know her really well.
So I am thinking if I try to spend more time with her, would that freak her out and make her think I am pushing her into a serious relationship? Its just been weird, I would love to have a proper relationship with her as she is a wonderful girl and I think she feel’s the same way but if we met in 5 or 10 years time, when she has done what she want to do.

ravenhead

You really should arrange a date with her - just the two of you ... somewhere that you won't run into any of her friends & vise versa... Being with her at the end of a night & walking her home realy isn't anyway to get to know her... & at least this way if she's not too inclined to arrange a date with you then it's obvious that to her it is never going to be anything other than what you have right now which is I'm sorry to say , not very much.... Give it a try - you've got nothing to loose

LegacyUser

Originally posted by ravenhead
You really should arrange a date with her - just the two of you ... somewhere that you won't run into any of her friends & vise versa... Being with her at the end of a night & walking her home realy isn't anyway to get to know her... & at least this way if she's not too inclined to arrange a date with you then it's obvious that to her it is never going to be anything other than what you have right now which is I'm sorry to say , not very much.... Give it a try - you've got nothing to loose

well we have had 1 or 2 dates on our own [when we first started meeting] but notting really lately [because of exams] but we are finished now, so hopefully things will change

Typedef

Originally posted by None123

We were talking about it the other night and she was saying that she liked me and that when she sees me she wants to be with me but when we are apart she doesn’t really find the compulsion to txt me or ring me [I kind of felt this too but I was ignoring it as I did want to be with her]. It’s always me who arranges to meet her

Some women are just high maintenance.

Don't be stressed.

Miguel_Sanchez

Originally posted by None123
and she also doesn’t really want to get tied down so young [we are both in our early 20's]

Anyone who says this at the start of anything is a moron. Sorry but they are. Just going out for a couple of drinks etc. is hardly being tied down. In fact starting any sort of relationship is hardly being tied down (unless it's an unusually kinky one - ALRIGHT!)

Red Alert

in this day and age does 'tied down' really exist?