Stealing Mustard

ecksor

I stole a sachet of the Heinz English Mustard from The Bleeding Horse on Camden Street just now before I left. Had it on a couple of sausages just now that I got in the chipper before I got home. I couldn't help myself but I figured I'd give them a plug here to assuage my guilt.

Not a bad bit of Mustard either.

SantaHoe

I hear they take the cost of stolen condiments out of the staffs wages.
Looks like little Timmy won't get that operation after all.

po0k

Well, when I first heard TImmy wanted to be a woman, I was against it.
But now that the decision has been taken out of his hands by ecksor's pillaging of condiments I've taken the time to setup the www.buytimmyboobs.com website.

BuffyBot

I too have pilfered condiments in the past.

It's my secret shame.

Beruthiel

I never knew I was surrounded by such tea leaves
though I have heard that this is becoming such a problem these days that the Gardai have actually commissioned a special branch who dress up in civvies and infiltrate the pub scene, be careful lads, your days are numbered!!

Clintons Cat

I think its all right to take extra sachets for your own personal use,it would only be a crime if you tried to sell them on.

Most restraunts include a charge to cover the costs of people taking more sachets than they are strictly entitled to so,whilst they might feel agrieved that some people take more than their fair share,On A Personal Level,on terms of repeat trade and continued goodwill,they will more than likely turn a blind eye to your misdemeanor.

Maybe as a penance you should next time pick a less popular condiment such as Tartar Sauce to help balance up the stock levels.

The Real B-man

Why would you rob them you get so little in 1 sachet tkaes me about 5 to be fufilled

Sarky

Last night at work I found where the canteen lady keeps the mustard jars.

Blingo!

Fysh

Originally posted by Sarky
Blingo!

Is this the latest trend? Wearing mustard jewellery to be "hip" and "down with it"?

/shakes zimmerframe, mutters unintelligible comment about not fighting Nazis for damn hippy layabouts.

In other news, I seem to recall a pub crawl during Freshers week in college where the idea was to rob as many condiments as possible from every pub we stopped in that served food...Needless to say, the next day involved much rummaging in coat pockets and muttering of "what the hell is that doing in there?"...

Kêrmêttê

Originally posted by BuffyBot
I too have pilfered condiments in the past.

It's my secret shame.

I don't pinch condiments... but I have been known to mash them into the table of the cafe/restraunty type place before I leave.
My favorite combo is those little squares of butter, salt, sugar & mustard all mushed together in a paste, topped off with an upside down paper cup... (the inverted cup over the quick setting paste aids an undetected get away!)
I am the scourge of waitressess throughout Dublin city... and I have no shame!!

..... as an aside..... perhaps I need a new hobby??

gigglingrat

You coulod try abstract art with the salt. Use pepper for shading.

plastic membrane

How could you ? With the economy as delicately balanced as it is you'd think people would take more care with what they pilfered. I hope that mustard tastes as bitter as i feel right now..

You'll be stealing jars of the stuff from Tesco's next..

Kêrmêttê

Originally posted by plastic membrane
You'll be stealing jars of the stuff from Tesco's next..

That sounds like a plan! I wonder if I can descretely smear the security guards with pilfered cheap mustard as I sneak out the door??

plastic membrane

I dunno? Is that the kind of thing one usually does?

I was only having a larf about the stealing thing. I used to steal boxes of individually wrapped Kinder Surprise bars from Quinnsworth all the time..

Dathai

Originally posted by ecksor
I couldn't help myself but I figured I'd give them a plug here to assuage my guilt.

Not a bad bit of Mustard either.

Hmm thats an anagram of sausage
Hes trying to tell us something........we must rob all of the sachets of mustard from The Bleeding Horse on Camden Street and eat them with sausages....

Agent Smith

mustard is made to be stolen,

that is all

gigglingrat

Mustard is like air...or water...or...rainbows. You can't steal it, man, its already YOURS.

Victor

http://www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=2822

The pinnacle of this practice was:
SANDWICH: Ham & mustard on white bread.
WITH: Beef Monster Munch (sadly no longer with us).
DUNKED INTO: Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodle.

Lloyd Grossman eats these. He told me.

http://www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=174

Sachets of tomato ketchup from the canteen made excellent 'collectibles' for a while. At five pence each, it was an inexpensive hobby, and admirably pure - we did not tolerate brown sauce or vinegar sachets. They simply don't count, I mean, don't even go there. At its peak, the hobby resulted in people giving up on meals so they could buy more sachets of tomato ketchup.

People with particularly large hoards (say, a locker full) would be accorded chin-stroking respect, except from those who didn't collect five pence ketchup sachets, who would stare at us with well-fed, condescending eyes. But who cares what they thought, those non-tomato-ketchup-collecting losers.

funky penguin

Originally posted by Dathai
Hmm thats an anagram of sausage
Hes trying to tell us something........we must rob all of the sachets of mustard from The Bleeding Horse on Camden Street and eat them with sausages....

Damn observant fecker. How did you notice that? Do you spend your time on boards looking for anagrams?

Victor

Originally posted by funky penguin
Damn observant fecker. How did you notice that? Do you spend your time on boards looking for anagrams?

Maybe he's dyslexic? (a lot )

Sarky

Tonight, I may be unable to resist the temptation to "borrow" a whole jar of Colman's English from the canteen.

I mean, they have a dozen unopened jars of the stuff, it's not like they'll notice one, right?

Right?

duridian

Not sure if this fits in the topic but I know a guy who used to steal huge wads of paper serviettes from our local chipper coz it saved him buying bog roll. They copped it eventually and stopped putting dispensers full of them on the counter. I don't know what he wipes with now but I dread to think...

Victor

Originally posted by duridian
Not sure if this fits in the topic but I know a guy who used to steal huge wads of paper serviettes from our local chipper coz it saved him buying bog roll.

Used to work in a chipper (for about 3 weeks, 15 years ago). A guy came in drunk one night and demanded a "sloppy" burger... and proceeded to take about 100 large napkins.

Then one day BK were using toilet roll for napkins. I asked for my money back.

ozt9vdujny3srf

Originally posted by Victor
using toilet roll for napkins. I asked for my money back.

Ahh the circle of life.

Kêrmêttê

Originally posted by Victor
Then one day BK were using toilet roll for napkins. I asked for my money back.

Why? Whats the problem? You do know what burgers are made from.....
..... don't you?? :ninja:





heh

Runfree

I always steal some extra mustard for my hot dogs Hmmmmmm Hot Dog

Dathai

I poured laxative into a milk container in Bewleys....Then one day I went into a McDonalds toilet and pissed all over the stall..... because they had no mustard for me to steal

duridian

Originally posted by Kêrmêttê
Why? Whats the problem? You do know what burgers are made from.....
..... don't you?? :ninja:





heh

LOL! Yeah but you don't need that good a reminder