//WARNING// Offensive Jokes

Kazu · 26-05-2004 12:30am #1

Q: Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they're not going to work in the future, either.

Q: What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?
A: Drowns

Q: Why doesn't Mexico enter the Olympics?
A: Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Q: How do you kill 100 Mexicans?
A: Blow up their van.

Q: What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas?
A: My bike.

Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year?
A: They dont ****ing listen

Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing you already told her twice.

Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall?
A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher doesn't work?
A: Slap her.

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: The question really is "What the **** is she doing out of the kitchen?

Q: How do you give a woman a really great orgasm?
A:Who cares?

Q: What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
A: Einstein's cock.

Q: Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
A: She was a woman

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other

Q: Why is a necrophiliac like a fur trapper?
A: They're both looking for dead beaver.

Q: What's green, covered in crumbs, and lies on the side of the road?
A. A dead Girl Scout

Q: What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair!

Q: What's grosser than eating your grandmother's pussy?
A: Banging your head on the coffin lid after you're done.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: How do you know you've walked into a homosexual church service?
A: Only half the congregation are kneeling.

Q: What’s the hardest thing about cooking vegetables in a microwave?
A: Getting the wheelchair through the door

Q: What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A: It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Q: What's the difference between acne and priests?
A: Acne comes on a boy's face AFTER he turns 13.

Q: How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A: Quarter pounder with cheese.

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

An American, a Russian, and a Mexican were out camping. The American has
his Jack Daniels the Russian has his vodka and the Mexican has his tequila.
The Russian takes a drink of vodka throws the bottle up in the air and
shoots it. The Mexican says, "What did you do that for?" The Russian says,
"In Russia we have lots of vodka." The Mexican takes a drink of his tequila
throws the bottle up in the air and shoots it. The American says, "man what
did you do that for?" The Mexican says, "In Mexico we have lots of tequila."
The American takes a drink of his Jack Daniels throws the bottle up in the
air and shoots the Mexican. The Russian looks at him and says, "Man, what
the hell did you do that for?" The American says, "Oh hell, man, in America
we have lots of Mexicans."

Jk_Eire · 26-05-2004 12:38am

uh oh...

hehehe

Goodshape · 26-05-2004 12:52am

Does my laughter make me evil?

talking_walnut · 26-05-2004 12:58am

Well if it does Goodshape then I'm right there with you. Oh dear.:ninja:

Pugsley · 26-05-2004 7:52am

Last one is class

BlitzKrieg · 26-05-2004 7:56am

it aint funny unless its politically incorrect and you my good man are funny

let me shake your hand (gonna be killed for this one...send...send...send)