How to...?

emmahappy

Well, This is kind of akward, but....
Im 14. Thought I should say that. And have hit puberty. I think. And have never "liked anyone". That way. You know what I mean. Well, it isnt like i havent met anyone. 3 girls. As a dare, but then the same ones quite a few times again. Never kissed a boy.
The problem is, Im confused. Really, really confused. I mean, everyone one else is "in love" with so many people. But Im not. Everything I have felt for a boy, i have felt the same for a girl too. Quite a few of my friends are bi/gay. Or say they are. So I wouldnt feel out of place if I said somthing, but Im nearing 15 and getting a bit worried. Has this happened to anyone else? Did you out grow it?

claire h

Three possibilities:

1. You will grow out of it
2. You're asexual (not interested in sexual relationshps with *anyone*)
3. You don't get as intensely infatuated with people the way most teenagers do

If I were you I wouldn't try to label myself just yet... just concentrate on having a good time, making friends, and let attraction happen naturally without trying to force it. And don't worry.

ixoy

I'll have to go with claire h on this one. You're still in formative years so you have absolutely zero need to make any decision about who you're attracted to yet. Your friends may say one thing, but that doesn't mean that they're going to end up straight/bi/gay. It's far too hard to know - teenager year are meant to be confusing.
I seriously recommend that you just wait it out and try and enjoy yourself without worrying about who others claim that they're into.

Boston

It doesn't get any easier at 19 then it is at 14. You feel as if you should be having all these feelings everyone else does, and you feel awkward and odd for not having them. Kids at 14 at unbelievable bull****ers. That realization is an important one. Few people at 14 at sure of their sexuality, chances are your Friends are Justas confused about it as you are.

On a side note, Just because they "say" they are bi/gay whatever doesn't mean they will be accepting of you being that way inclined. Personally I wouldn't advice coming out untill I was sure.

Big Ears

Well some Military service could sort u out ( once its not the navy )

But on a more serious note : i am also nearly 15 ( straight ) and would find it odd that u would have many firends / people u know who are openly gay .

In my school they would probably be bullied .

I love being straight

emmahappy

What school do you go to? My school is pretty good about stuff like that. We like people for who they are, not what they are.
About the not liking people thing, has anyone ever known someone to have this problem, and grow out of it? Or will I just end up a spinster, sitting on my porch with a rifle going "get off my lawn"?
Sorry to sound like a drama queen, im 14, its what I do!

claire h

Originally posted by emmahappy
What school do you go to? My school is pretty good about stuff like that. We like people for who they are, not what they are.
About the not liking people thing, has anyone ever known someone to have this problem, and grow out of it? Or will I just end up a spinster, sitting on my porch with a rifle going "get off my lawn"?
Sorry to sound like a drama queen, im 14, its what I do!

It's not necessarily a "problem". Asexuality is just a valid a sexuality as any other. But no one's forcing you to make a decision yet, just relax, okay?

Big Ears

Originally posted by emmahappy
What school do you go to? My school is pretty good about stuff like that. We like people for who they are, not what they are.
About the not liking people thing, has anyone ever known someone to have this problem, and grow out of it? Or will I just end up a spinster, sitting on my porch with a rifle going "get off my lawn"?
Sorry to sound like a drama queen, im 14, its what I do!

I go to school in a tiny town called Borrisokane ( Tipperary ) I feel culchies are probably less excepting to people being gay though .

emmahappy

Its great the way you are able to slag yourself. Poor poor culchies.:D Im checking out that whole military service thing, its very educational!

azezil

Yeah as people said I wouldn't worry about it, I was nearly 23 before i made up my mind.
14, I admire you, I couldn't even admit it to myself till i was about 20
Don't lable yourself just yet, if it feels right, go with it, have fun, you're young

The Song Thrush

Hi Emma.
I think at 14 you're not old enough to know for sure who you're attracted to. I know I wasn't. In time you'll discover it for yourself, at this point in puberty I wouldn't worry about it. you'll know when it comes along.
And don't let other people pressure you, not everyone falls in love at the same time.

Zillah

I'm nineteen now and I never felt any true attraction for anyone until about a year ago. Kids at fourteen fifteen sixteen do the whole "I have a girl/boyfriend" thing without any real cause. They say "love" and toss around those sort of words very lightly but really its all just experimentation at that age.

You're too young to worry about his sort of sh*t. Just live your life and if you like someone later, fine. If someone mentions that you're not with anyone, tell them to shut up(or be polite but pay no heed), either way, you have nothing to "worry" about. Hell, I'll be twenty soon and I'm still not sure if I'm bi straight or gay. And I don't worry about it. Things sort themselves out and its absolutely mad for you to be bothered by that sort of sh*t so soon.

Big Ears

Originally posted by emmahappy
Its great the way you are able to slag yourself. Poor poor culchies.:D Im checking out that whole military service thing, its very educational!

I know but that probably has a lot with me living in the capital of North Tipperary, Nenagh(population 8,000) . note : Thurles is not the capital of North Tipperary , but only Tipperary as a whole .

I only go to school in a culchie area , I dont live in one .

thomas/paul

relax tink about it for awhile any way it might be just a phase that you will just grow out of, but if its not its no big deal.

MarcusGarvey

Originally posted by thomas/paul
it might be just a phase that you will just grow out of

Arghhhhhh. I really hate those "it's just a phase" explanations.

uberwolf

Originally posted by MarcusGarvey
Arghhhhhh. I really hate those "it's just a phase" explanations.

can you offer an alternative?

People change dramatically in their teens, attitudes are shaped and can move around dramatically.

Things have improved fantastically that a 14 yr old can openly express these thoughts (allbeit online) but the fact remains that 14 yr olds have been going through this for years. People develop at different rates and she is simply considering explanations for her differences with her friends. She may be gay, she may not but she is too young to decide on one and run with it. Quite simply she will grow out of it or into it.

Emma - do whats comfortable. Same advice for a teen considering sex, anything like that. Be happy with your choices for your sake, no one else's.
E

ixoy

Originally posted by JohnnyBravo
Hey man i dont judge you

But I judge the pair of you to be going off topic. Quit it right now. The original thread had a point - you're taking it nowhere of any interest.

coughlanc

Hey boys .. dont have another board scrap in this thread ..lol as its a serious one..

Although JB .. you were ob just havin a laugh.. however JohnnyMcg is right.. should not take the piss..

The only advise I can give to the orig poster is .. take you time, see who you feel, many many many people have mixed emotions at this time in their lives, hormones can make you feel many ways.

Dont tush anything... Relax - its quite normal

Jpaulik

Big Ears, would you ever fuck off back to the bridge you were spawned under. Your trolling is piss poor and really doesn't work. Maybe work your talents on other boards first and hone your skills and then come back.

Your statements are offensive and nothing more. They are in no way made to further debate which is counter-productive to the whole idea of this site - a place to talk.

Why are you bothered to come here ? Seriously, if homosexuality bothers you so much that it makes you want to come to the lgb forum and hurl insults you need to examine why. I'm not trying to be insulting here or to make a dig (I did that in the first paragraph) I'm actually concerned for you even though I don't know who you are.

There's a deeper reason which you probably have not discovered yet as to why you spend time on this forum and want to insult queers. Go examine why.

(This is not an open invitation to other people to suggest why he does this. )

Cabaal

Originally posted by Big Ears
Well some Military service could sort u out ( once its not the navy )

But on a more serious note : i am also nearly 15 ( straight ) and would find it odd that u would have many firends / people u know who are openly gay .

In my school they would probably be bullied .

I love being straight

Me to

On the note about friends saying there gay/bi maybe there girls, imho many girls seem to think its the *in* thing to say there bi

HerrLipp

Arghhhhhh. I really hate those "it's just a phase" explanations.

It is just a phase, a person should eventually reach the light of heterosexuality, the light that shines with burning crosses