Not confused...I swear

LegacyUser

Okay. I've always thought I was bi. And I've always hated the girls that kissed each other in front of the lads for attention. So when I was about 15 I decided not to act on how I felt until I was sure that I did indeed feel that way.

I'm 17 now, and almost sure I'm bi. Well, sure. Wow, just admitted to my self there. Anyway. Em, yeah, this weekend when I went out with some mates, I ended up fooling around with one of the girls when we got back to the party. I'm unhappy about this because:

1] I didn't want my "first time" to be drunken.

2] I hardly remember it!!

3] It was a mate, and although our friendship will survive I'm sure, I would just have prefered it was with someone who I could, have some form of relationship with or something.

I know this is all part and package of being a confused teenager. Althogh I genuinely think I am bi. So...em. Yeah.

Any advice?

Gordon

You're a girl right?

You can still post unregistered in this forum.

newgrange

I know it sounds hard to do, but really, don't worry about it.

It's great that you are exploring how you feel within yourself. Sorry your first time wasn't great, but you can have a 'real' first time in the future with someone who loves you.

Outhouse have a youth group called 'Belong 2' which you might like to contact. Their email is belongto@eircom.net

claire h

"First times" in anything are overhyped. They're not a big deal. Look, drunken fooling-around with friends... it's a part of life. Really. The most important thing in that situation is that your friendship isn't at risk, so you can put it behind you, and learn whatever you can from the experience.

qwertyphobia

It may not seam like it to you but you seam to be doing fine your taking your time not rushing into anything and you are thinking about it, all good things.

As someone said above the youth group would be a good idea for you to check out as well

best of luck and enjoy yourself

ixoy

You actually seem to be doing a good job so far. Try not to place too much emphasis on the "first time" being some sort of wonderous, revelatory experience. It's often not like that, as many of us could attest to! Sure, it'd be nice if it was, but don't get upset really if there's no harm been done, as seems to be the case here.

The most important thing for you to do is to now is approach all this in a way that makes you comfortable. The Outhouse group mentioned is a great idea to try out. There you'll ge to talk, face to face, with others who'll have had similiar tales to tell and be able to understand you. It's best not though to mull over any of this, or over what's gone. Just look ahead now and I hope that it works out.

LegacyUser

I'm doing my leaving at the minute, but I will definitly look into the group afterwards.

Thanks for the advice. I suppose in perspective that first times aren't that great, ever. Regardless of whether is a lad or lady.

Another question I have is are people who are bi discrimiated against because they are neither completely gay or completely straight?

I am a girl/woman, bleh, whatever!!

qwertyphobia

I wouldn't say bi people are discriminated against (apart from the usualy homophobia)

But you do meet some gay people who have neagitive beiliefs or attuides about Bisexuals. Stuff like it's just a phase, or you are sex mad, or your confused, all of which is ccrap thats gets dumped on gays and lesbian which then some chose to pass along to dump on bisexuals.

There is allso bi-Irish a bisexual group in dublin which can be found at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bi-irish/ and www.bi-irish.com

But you are right concentrat on your exams and check out the youth group afterwards they are bassed in Outhouse at 105 Capel St

claire h

Originally posted by La la la
Another question I have is are people who are bi discrimiated against because they are neither completely gay or completely straight?

Meh. It depends. Some people will find it easier to get - your straight female friends can still talk to you about boys, your male friends can flirt with you *and* discuss hot girls! But then there will be people who will think:

a) it's just a phase
b) you're just trying to be cool/get attention and are actually straight
c) you're just saying you're bi because it's easier than saying you're gay
d) you're just a sex-mad fiend
e) you're bi, therefore you *must* be into kinky things, and males will feel perfectly entitled to preposition you for threesomes (handcuffs optional)
f) you're bi, therefore you'll never be able to be faithful because you'll need *two* people to satisfy you...

and so on. Rubbish like that. If you're friends with people like that, they'll probably rid themselves of those ideas after a while, and if you're not... then who cares what they think?

Annasopra

You're doing your leaving cert at the moment, I presume then that you might be going to college, college can be a really cool and liberating to come out (not always) especially through an LGB society, check out the links on www.usilgb.org for LGB societies

LegacyUser

Thanks for the help lads, the links are great.