A girl's dilemna...

Erica

Ok, hi everyone, this is my first post so please don't be too rough on me.
What I wanted to start to talk about seriously was about people's image.
I work as a model in Dublin, mainly for hairdressers, so I often get new haircuts and get paid for it. On the other hand some of these are very experimental (I work for companies like Peter Mark...etc) and so often I'm left looking a little unorthodox after a job.
I get treated soooo strangely after each haircut. Each cut gives me a completely different position in society and I'm treated different each time despite the fact that I still am the same person below the fringe line! I think it's incredible. Working in fashion I'm really aware how even a jacket or boots can make a huge difference to how people are perceived. It's not politically correct but it's just a fact and I think it's terrible. This is why i usually don't trust people who say looks don't matter, not even just for sex, but even in a shop or anywhere as visual image is the first thing you notice and first impressions last. I really hate this but I don't see any way around it...

seamus

From what I've heard and read, models are under quite a lot of pressure due to the nature of their business. The entire industry is based on looks. It's as shallow an industry as you can find - as soon as your image is gone, you're discarded, useless. Allegedly, many fashion models have extremely low self-esteem, and poor self image despite being very good looking people. A little similar to how most painters/artists tend to view their own work very critically.

So IMO, if you're looking for a solution, get out of the fashion industry. People aren't like that in the real world. You've probably mingled, socialised with people from the business, which is where you're getting this impression that looks matter. The attitude would be carried outside of work.

To say that looks don't matter at all is complete crap. They do to some degree. You'll find with most people though that it's way down their list of priorities, despite what advertisers and magazines would have you believe.

ravenhead

I agree completely with Seamus on this one - if it's making you feel this way you really should think about trying another line of work... I'm not saying that it will change the perceptions that people have of you but maybe it may seem less critical as people are not so blatent about it in every day circles...
What's most inportant is that you're happy with the way you look & even though people can be cruel .. you have to try to rise above it ... after all you don't owe these people anything - they are strangers to you...

hedgetrimmer

Society dictates that we make our initial value judgement of a person upon appearance, with the bench-mark of the ideal with which our senses are (over)saturated dailt in the myriad of imagery and stimuli with which we are bombarded from magazines, TV, posters, etc etc etc.

But the reality is, that there is no way one is "supposed" to look.

If onehave difficulty trusting people's opinion of how onelook, maybe one is too focussed on appearance, and one lacks the self-confidence which is required to be a strong person.

Yes, people react to looks. It is the initial factor. But people also react to kindness, interesting conversation, etc etc - Not all people are *governed* by looks. Once it goes beyond the initial appraisal, unless there is a solid *person* behind the veneer, there will be very little with which to develop a connection

Beruthiel

yes, I agree, looks have a big effect on how people react to you, however, I firmly believe, (and I’m speaking from my own experience here) it’s your attitude which can stand out the most, more so than the way you look. How you project your own personality and how confident you are with yourself makes a huge difference on how people perceive you

Erica

cheers guys. I'm not actually a person suffering fom confidence or lack of self esteem, but I know what you're saying. A lot of my friends are models too and some of them definitely show some of those traits and will let people treat them so bady just because they think they're in the right situation...
i think no matter how strong your personality is, though, how you look designates your place in teh social order. If I walk into a place looking chic or really outlandish I'm more likely to get served in a bar or club much faster I've noticed. I guess the difference is that when you get to know people looks don't matter so much, if at all, but most people we meet we don't get to know well and so we're treated just on our physical merits....

Typedef

Originally posted by Beruthiel
yes, I agree, looks have a big effect on how people react to you, however

I hope you aren't trying to insinuate that a good pair of boobs suddenly makes men listen to women's opinions.......

As it happens I thought Barbie might have been right when she said maybe printer port was 'depressed'... her deity-like measurements had *almost* nothing to do with it....

It was more the demure way she alluded to them...

....

What were we talking about again?