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Marriage and virginity question

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  • 07-05-2004 10:02pm
    #1
    CyberGhost
    Registered Users Posts: 5,554 ✭✭✭


    Hi!

    As you probably understood from the name of the topic I'm interested in your opinions about marrying a non virgin girl, what do you think about it? does it matter to you? does it bother you that the girl you are about to marry is not a virgin? of course you shouldn't expect women over 30 to be virgins but.... be honest not 30 but it's hard to find a non virgin girl over 18!

    I'm not saying that I'm against marrying non virgins, actually I don't care, but couple of days ago I was at this party where they started talking about this and many people actually cared! which surprized me! I'm just interested in what you guys think about it


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    #2
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    indifferent.

    may i ask: why is she a virgin?


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    #3
    Auburn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭Auburn


    Over 18? That's a bit optimistic.

    I don't understand why some men have this obsession. I think it was more common years ago. They want someone who's sweetness and light, brimming with innocence and then expect her to be dynamite in bed. Sorry, but the two don't go together.


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    #4
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    Originally posted by Auburn
    Over 18? That's a bit optimistic.

    I don't understand why some men have this obsession. I think it was more common years ago. They want someone who's sweetness and light, brimming with innocence and then expect her to be dynamite in bed. Sorry, but the two don't go together.

    i'd agree that initially sex will probably be really crap - especially if you care / love her - you won't enjoy hurting her...


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    #5
    Auburn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭Auburn


    Originally posted by Karoma
    you won't enjoy hurting her...

    Why are my sarcasm detectors going off?


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    #6
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    also indifferent.

    as for it being difficult to find a virgin over 18, i dont see that as a necessarily bad thing. i mean its over the legal age and theres not too many men or women these days that are of the belief that sex is only meant for people in love and then in turn should only be carried out in marriage.

    i've been in love and wanted to sleep with him. didnt mean i was going to marry him.

    however i think if people strongly believe in it then fair play to them.

    oh and just a question....are u a virgin?


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    #7
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    oh and did anyone else notice that while some men do have this obsession many of them arent virgins?? whats that all about? why should they get their leg over and then refuse to marry a girl unless she's a virgin? doesnt make much sense really.:rolleyes:


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    #8
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    no sarcasm.

    (since he's not replying any time soon) I'll answer for him-no. he is not a virgin. (....c'mon!)

    use the edit function :)


    virgins are few and far between .:. 'exotic'. double standards as you'd expect... :rolleyes:


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    #9
    CyberGhost
    Registered Users Posts: 5,554 ✭✭✭CyberGhost


    who is not?


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    #10
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    Originally posted by CyberGhost
    who is not?

    ....?...
    :confused:


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    #11
    Auburn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭Auburn


    You.


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    #12
    CyberGhost
    Registered Users Posts: 5,554 ✭✭✭CyberGhost


    yea I'm not!

    but i'm a man! it's ok with me!


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    #13
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    Originally posted by CyberGhost
    yea I'm not!

    but i'm a man! it's ok with me!

    WTF?? :confused:


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    #14
    Auburn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭Auburn


    Originally posted by peachypants
    WTF?? :confused:

    You may notice that you asked him a question about eightposts up? :D


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    #15
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    *vvoooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooom* the point just missed me!

    double standards it seems has proven true...


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    #16
    CyberGhost
    Registered Users Posts: 5,554 ✭✭✭CyberGhost


    Originally posted by Auburn
    You may notice that you asked him a question about eightposts up? :D

    heheh


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    #17
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    roiiiight...slipped further into the quicksand that is PI thread :rolleyes:
    goodnight.


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    #18
    The_Bullman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,997 ✭✭✭The_Bullman


    I don't think being a virgin when getting married is all that important in Ireland. However, in other countries, for example America (especially the so called bible belt) it seems to be more important. Of course they seem to get married at a much younger age-presumably because they were gagging for it.


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    #19
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    why thank you auburn i was aware of that. my WTF was related to the "i'm a man!" part of his response.


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    #20
    secret_squirrel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭secret_squirrel


    I couldnt imagine marrying anyone I hadnt had sex with, I mean its an important part of a normal healthy relationship.

    IMHO you'd have to be a control freak or a religious nutcase to insist the girl you marry is a virgin. In this day and age??? I dont think so.

    I'd hope that the poor woman I end up marrying had taught me a thing or two before the wedding!


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    #21
    Lainey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,048 ✭✭✭Lainey


    Originally posted by secret_squirrel
    I couldnt imagine marrying anyone I hadnt had sex with, I mean its an important part of a normal healthy relationship.

    have to agree with this... could never marry someone intendig to spend the rest of my life with them and not know what we were like together.. no way.. :dunno:


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    #22
    FireFly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24 ✭FireFly


    I'm from the American bible belt area...virginity is not really the big issue its how often does one sleep around and the reason why most people get married around here at a young age is because they got pregnant.

    Besides alot of guys I know probably wouldn't marry a virgin but are fascinated with trying to score one

    Me on the other hand I wouldn't want a virgin guy...I want someone with experience with me


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    #23
    silverside
    Registered Users Posts: 1,372 ✭✭✭silverside


    ah c'mere - this should be in AH

    how many virgins do you find around these days at a marriageable age? No disrespect to anyone who is.

    Most people have played the field for a while, nothing wrong with that at all.


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    #24
    DrummerBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 598 ✭✭✭DrummerBoy


    This kinda reminds me of an expression that a girl I used to work with told me. Her mom had told her "X, remember this. You gotta sleep with the whore and marry the virgin"
    I fell about laughing when i heard this. Just thought it was class!!


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    #25
    Red Alert
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 7,485 ✭✭✭Red Alert


    It wouldn't really bother me at all whether she was or not. If she's not then the sex is probably going to be a bit better... practice makes perfect.


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    #26
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    I always got the impression that men who want to marry virgins, did so because they did not want to be compared with any other man on account that they would probably come up wanting, as it were.

    And, TBH, most women bring enough emotional baggage to a relationship without adding their deflowering to it.


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    #27
    Syke
    Closed Accounts Posts: 227 ✭✭Syke


    i only ever sleep with virgins. every girl so far for me usually in first year college so if ya go to freshers balls in autumn you get a good pick. lotsa people say they like the chase and stuff and i think a challenge is a turnon. ya gotta lower your standards sometimes.


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    #28
    Sleepy
    Registered Users Posts: 24,196 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Why would anyone keep their virginity until their weddings nowadays? Surely we're past the repressive Catholic nonsense that plagued our country for so long?

    I couldn't marry someone I hadn't been in a relationship with for a long time and during that length of time I would expect to be having a sexual relationship with that person.


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    #29
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    this is not a personal issue
    moved to AH
    B


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    #30
    villain_97
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39 ✭villain_97


    I think it's unlikely a person in todays Ireland is gona wait until marriage to have sex.I agree with much of what has been said above.In terms of children,I think I would hate to have children outside of marriage so I take precaution while having sex.


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    #31
    Civilian_Target
    Registered Users Posts: 5,618 ✭✭✭Civilian_Target


    Hear hear. Marriage is the time when you stop buying condoms.


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