Funny Simpson Qoutes

Johnnytightlips

If you want some funny qoutes like the one below all i need is the replies and every ten i will post a new qoute, feel fre to post your own qoutes.


Owner-"Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!"
Homer-*worried* "Ooooh, that's bad."
Owner-"But it comes with a free Frogurt!"
Homer-*relieved* "That's good."
Owner-"The Frogurt is also cursed."
Homer-*worried* "That's bad."
Owner-"But you get your choice of topping!"
Homer-*relieved* "That's good."
Owner-"The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate."
Homer: *stares*
Owner: "That's bad."

[The Simpsons have accidentally built a barn from a pool kit]
Homer-"Alright, everybody in the pool!"
Amish Farmer-" 'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English."
Homer-"D'oh-eth!"

Kunst

[Johnny Tight Lips has been shot}

Legs: Johnny...are ya hit?
Johnny: I ain't saying nothing
Legs: What'll we tell the doctor?
Johnny: Tell him to go suck a lemon

classic.

Hello Kitty

Cult member: Can I interest you in our free weekend session?
Homer: When is this weekend?
Cult member: It's this weekend
Homer: Oh, I see... and how much is this free weekend?
Cult member: Er... it's free
Homer: Uh huh, and when is this weekend?
Cult member: It's this weekend
Homer: And how much are you charging for this free weekend [gets dragged away by
Bart], it's free right?

Johnnytightlips

everybody yet another qoute to split your sides

Groundskeeper Willie-"You've mastered a dead tongue. Now can ya handle a live one?"
Groundskeeper Willie-"Boy... you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning!"
Bart-"You mean 'Shining'."
Groundskeeper Willie-"Shhh! You want to get sued?"
Groundskeeper Willie-"I warned ya about the colored chalk, didn't I warn ya? That chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!"

Bart-"What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding

Bart's looking for his dog.]
Willy-"Yeah, I bought your mutt -- and I 'ate 'im!"
[Bart gasps.]
Willy-"I 'ate 'is little face, I 'ate 'is guts, and I 'ate the way 'e's always barkin'! So I gave 'im to the church."
Bart-"Ohhh, I see... you HATE him, so you gave him to the church."
Willy-"Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug."
[Bart stares.]
Willy-"Ya heard me!"


Bart-"Dad, I think I need some fresh air. Can I go to the park?"
Homer-"Do I have to sit up?"
Bart-"No."
Homer-"Knock yourself out

fizzynicenice

homer: ..I'm the one out there everyday...puttin' my ass on the line, Marge!! you want the truth?? YOU WANT THE TRUTH???? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!! COZ WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HAND INTO A BIG PILE OF GOO, THAT WAS YOUR BEST FRIENDS FACE, THEN YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO. ITS CHNATOWN BABY

RobertFoster

Lisa: Dad, we prefered your half-ass under-parenting to your half-ass over-parenting
Homer: But I was using my whole ass...

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Homer: If I could just say a few words....I'd be a better public speaker!
Homer: Oh Marge it's great! They look deep into my heart and assign me a number in the order I joined

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Bart: We're going to put the fake scabs back on and jump the fence at club med and scare the normals

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Homer: Hey, did you say your name was M..
Sherry Bobbins: NO! My name is an original, like Ricky Rouse or Monald Muck.

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Roadie: Sorry pal, you can't come back here
Homer: Potato Man!
Roadie: Jaysus! Where the bloody hell have you been?

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Cleatus: Hey, what's going on on this side?

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Cleatus: I can call my Ma from here.....HEY MA!

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Hans Moleman: You took away 4 minutes of my life!!

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Cop, stroking a gun: I can be very persuasive, hehehe
later, with Sidshow Bob
Cop: C'mon! leave town! I'll be your friend...
Bob: No
Cop: Awww, you're mean!

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Homer, about Hans: Can we keep him Marge?
Marge: No Homer, he's not Bart
Homer, kisses Hans: C'mon Marge, kiss him, it's like kissing a peanut!

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Marge: Homer!
Homer: Yes-m?
Marge: When I asked you if that life-sized dummy replica of you was for faking your own death you said no!

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Homer: mmmmmm, something

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Repair Guy: Homer, we're going to have to cut off your arms....
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repair Guy: ...sure
Other Guy: Hang on a second....Homer, are you still holding on to the cans?

HarryD

I've got 2 questions for you:
How much is it ?
and
Give it to me

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What is mind ? No Matter
What is matter ? Never mind.

Homer :-D

PiE

Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them!