Jokes!!

Hello Kitty

Vibrator Husband

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom.

She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator.

"What are you doing?" asked the mom.

"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband."

The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.

The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

His daughter replied, "I already told mom, I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband."

The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.

The next day the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game.

"For Christsakes, what are you doing?" she cried.

The husband replied "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!"



Two howaya sluts walk into Brown Thomas (Dublin), they stroll up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it: 'Dat's quite nice innit, don't you tink Jacinta?'. 'Yeah, what's it called?'. 'Viens a moi' 'VIENS A MOI, what the f##k does that mean? At this stage the assistant offers some help. 'Viens a moi, ladies, is French for "come to me". Sharon, takes another sniff and offers her arm to Jacinta again saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me, does that smell like come to you?".


A quick stab at some Limerick jokes...

Q: What do you say to a Limerick man on a bike?
A: Stop thief!

Q: What's the first question at a Limerick pub quiz night?
A: What are you bleedin' lookin' at?

Q: What do you call a Limerick woman in a white Nike shellsuit?
A: The bride!

JCDenton

Aha!
Brilliant Stuff, all of 'em.

"What are you bleedin' lookin' at?"

quank

Mediocre jokes I guessage

RobertFoster

Why do people post when they don't like a joke? Would it not be better off not to say anything, and the poster will get the picture?:dunno:

Stephen P

Very good I must say!!!!


SP

quank

Mmmm, if that was referring to me. Where did I say I didn;t like it?
I'm just presuming that was directed at me though.

It's called a "reply" function. Used to give your opinions...

Agent7249

First one is good,
Second one is alright.
Those quick ones were $h!te

tman

first one was great:p

*wonderwoman*x

loved the brown thomas joke!