Mature & Imature

Trebor

I don't know if this is the right forum for this, if it's not could you please move it to the correct one?

this has been bugging me lately.

this arose from a talk i was having with a friend and another was listening who interrupted to poke fun at the wording the fist used to which she replied "Your so immature"

What is mature? what is immature?

I can't seem to understand why people believe that when someone laughs at something stupid they are immature surly this is just that persons sense of humour?

acting childish is always used by people to explain that what being immature is. but what is acting childish?

Being mature is considered acting your age, what is that suppose to mean? is there i list i missed that tells people how to act after they have a birthday?

your thoughts on this issue would be most appreciated.

McGinty

To be honest I'm not sure what is deemed immature or mature, but then again I don't agree with the viewpoint of acting your age, because some people who are old have a youthful outlook to life that is mature, and some people are old before their time, but doesn't neccesaryly concur with maturity.

Maybe the person said that was so immature because they didn't like what you or your friend was saying, and so classed it as 'immature' because they didn't have anything more substantial to say. When someone critisies my viewpoint I ask them to elaborate, if they can't eleborate I don't take what they are saying seriously.

But back to your question, I can't really answer it because I can't define it. But maybe maturity is where a person has experienced things in life and incorporated those life lessons into their thinking and viewpoints, whereas immaturity is whereby those who make snap judgements without weighing up all factors, or lack of questioning and reasoning. Sorry its a bit loose. The only other thing I can add, which again is vague, is I know immaturity when I see/hear it, and the same with maturity, but I sincerely believe it has nothing to do with age.

Trebor

Originally posted by McGinty
Maybe the person said that was so immature because they didn't like what you or your friend was saying, and so classed it as 'immature' because they didn't have anything more substantial to say. When someone critisies my viewpoint I ask them to elaborate, if they can't eleborate I don't take what they are saying seriously.

But back to your question, I can't really answer it because I can't define it. But maybe maturity is where a person has experienced things in life and incorporated those life lessons into their thinking and viewpoints, whereas immaturity is whereby those who make snap judgements without weighing up all factors, or lack of questioning and reasoning. Sorry its a bit loose. The only other thing I can add, which again is vague, is I know immaturity when I see/hear it, and the same with maturity, but I sincerely believe it has nothing to do with age. [/B]

This is what set me off on this, i asked her to define maturity but should could not so i then asked her how could she know what immaturity was if she could not tell what it is to be mature.

i understand what you are saying about knowing when someone is immature but ( and i don't want this to be taken the wrong way ) what makes your idea of maturity correct? is everybodies idea of maturity the same?

an example:
In friends when Ross is giving a lecture he mentions "Homo erctus", joey and Rachel both laugh at each word. Taking out the sterotypes that they play and just thinking of the situation, is this immaturity or just a sense of humour?

Capt'n Midnight

Rule of thumb , anyone claiming to be mature isn't.

Mature could be taken to be physical - in which case it is a matter of age.
Relating to mental development it can mean being average or above average for your age/status or to have reached a stage of development where you are deemed to be able to vote/marry etc. (I don't mean in the legal age based definition)

senordingdong

Its just someone trying to say theyre better than you.
A superiority complex....eg...i act more liek an adult than you do, therefore im mature=(go me!) and your immature=(you childish piece of ****, i wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire, i hope you die!)

Trebor

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
Rule of thumb , anyone claiming to be mature isn't.

Mature could be taken to be physical - in which case it is a matter of age.
Relating to mental development it can mean being average or above average for your age/status or to have reached a stage of development where you are deemed to be able to vote/marry etc. (I don't mean in the legal age based definition)

if you take it as physical, at what age do you become mature or is it something that is continueous? i.e. as you keep getting older you become more mature?

what is average for someone's age/status? or is maturity defined by the people you happen to be talking to at a peticular time?

Trebor

Originally posted by senordingdong
Its just someone trying to say theyre better than you.
A superiority complex....eg...i act more liek an adult than you do, therefore im mature=(go me!) and your immature=(you childish piece of ****, i wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire, i hope you die!)

in the situation i described it would be yes, but in general when we are growing up we are told that we must all behave and get educated so that we can become mature adults yet they do not tell us how to be mature they only say "Act your age not your shoe size"

what is expected of people when they are told act their age? does age really effect how we behave or is it the experiences we have growing up that dictates how we act. therefore as nobody has the same experiences how can you be expected to act a certain way?

senordingdong

Originally posted by Trebor
in the situation i described it would be yes, but in general when we are growing up we are told that we must all behave and get educated so that we can become mature adults yet they do not tell us how to be mature they only say "Act your age not your shoe size"

what is expected of people when they are told act their age? does age really effect how we behave or is it the experiences we have growing up that dictates how we act. therefore as nobody has the same experiences how can you be expected to act a certain way?

We are expected to act like adults...or at least older than we actually are.
Makig it a superiority complex as everyone tries to "out do" each other in being better than everyone else.


Anyway...you'd wana be pretty immature not to know that.
Pfh...

Trebor

Originally posted by senordingdong
We are expected to act like adults...or at least older than we actually are.
Makig it a superiority complex as everyone tries to "out do" each other in being better than everyone else.


Anyway...you'd wana be pretty immature not to know that.
Pfh...

I think you are missing my point, i am 22 years old so i would consider myself an adult, but what is it to act like an adult? or act older than i am? i.e. what is it to be mature? how do you behave?

i have been called immature for laughing at a word in a conversation because of the way it was said yet this is just my sense of humour. am i immature because i laugh at something "lowbrow"

senordingdong

Originally posted by Trebor
I think you are missing my point, i am 22 years old so i would consider myself an adult, but what is it to act like an adult? or act older than i am? i.e. what is it to be mature? how do you behave?

i have been called immature for laughing at a word in a conversation because of the way it was said yet this is just my sense of humour. am i immature because i laugh at something "lowbrow"

If you act 22 or younger, than your immature, whereas if you act like your older than you are by doing, saying things that people older than you do/say, then you are mature.

None of this is in the true meaning of the words but in the "eyes" of society nowadays.
Just my opinion anyway.

Skud

everyone is mature and immature (it's that inner child malarkey) I think when you can be serious when you need to be and light-hearted all the other times then this comes with maturity (and for me is the most part of being mature; although my thoughts aren't that black and white) You say when should we be serious, well since everyone is different etc it's the situations that you learn through time and how you react to them accordingly (i.e. above) that makes you act your age. Obviously when you grow older you change and gain "wisdom" but take every experience as a learning one and comments like these not too serious. If anything i'd say you were acting like a guy and whereas some ppl are upfront and will giggle, others will be more refined. it's a case of realising some days that you don't appreciate some humour you might have in the past and changing with time and experiences. If you laughed at a serious problem they had it might be a different story... It's better to leave the innocent child out or you become like (the best analergy i have for it) Mr. Burns in the simpsons (apologies tot hose sick of simpsons quotes but universally recognised)

Trebor

Originally posted by senordingdong
If you act 22 or younger, than your immature, whereas if you act like your older than you are by doing, saying things that people older than you do/say, then you are mature.

None of this is in the true meaning of the words but in the "eyes" of society nowadays.
Just my opinion anyway.

but how does a "normal" 22 yr old act in the "eyes" of society? do i compare the way i act to that of the people around me that are close to my age? in that case how do i know that another 22 year old will not come along and call us all immature?
also if i acted like someone older than me how do i know that they are not acting immature for their age?

what i am trying to say is that what i think of as mature might not be what you think of as mature, if this is the case how can we use these terms if they vary between people?

(this also leads me to changing the way i act in order to be considered mature by those around me, but thats a different thread )

sceptre

Ah, the question of how mature you have to be or act to be thought of as mature.

I can be extremely childlike (or childish if you like, though no-one's ever actually called me that, even as a child). My inner child took over the zoo a long time ago. I can take things seriously but tend to put a humorous slant on anything I can - I reckon I use humour as a defence mechanism but hardly anyone's ever spotted that. As Skud said, if you can be serious when you have to be and whatever way you like at any other times then there's probably nothing wrong with your maturity. I suppose I get away with it because lots of people think I'm smart (the fools!). Like Cap'n Midnight said, as a general rule of thumb, anyone claiming to be mature probably isn't. Anyone striving to prove how mature they are has their own issues. My most wanted present at the moment is a complete uncut set of Tom and Jerry cartoons. I'm 29.

Don't worry, when you buy a house and spend all your time talking about "the house" as though it's a person people will think you're mature. If it becomes that important to you, you probably won't be any happier though.

If you laugh at the way someone says something you may be mature or immature, plain ignorant or non-ignorant. If it doesn't hurt anyone else's feelings, who cares. If it does, it's up to you to decide whether that's a bad thing or not. I wouldn't find a mere mention of homo erectus funny but I wouldn't have when I was eight either. I didn't find any of There's Something About Mary funny (and I was warned in advance by people I worked with that I wouldn't so I was forearmed) but I wouldn't classify someone as low-brow or immature just because they found something pretty "low-brow" funny. To each his own, even if that's You've been framed. I like slapstick though. And surrealism. No-one's ever slipped on a talking banana in any movie I've seen though:(

Agent Smith

i fall into the same bracket as sceptre, i'm 18 and would class myself as "mature" in some respects, but totally the opposite as the other,,,,,


(I asked my mum to bring me back a spongebob square pants dvd set from spain)

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Gordon

Hmmmm... English... Humanities... Philosophy?

As I am not so much a friend of wisdom, my apologies for putting this thread into the wrong forum.

Trebor

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Have you got hairs around your thingie yet?

i have hairs where i should not have hairs


lol, Gordon this is where i started

senordingdong

Originally posted by Trebor
but how does a "normal" 22 yr old act in the "eyes" of society? do i compare the way i act to that of the people around me that are close to my age? in that case how do i know that another 22 year old will not come along and call us all immature?
also if i acted like someone older than me how do i know that they are not acting immature for their age?

what i am trying to say is that what i think of as mature might not be what you think of as mature, if this is the case how can we use these terms if they vary between people?

(this also leads me to changing the way i act in order to be considered mature by those around me, but thats a different thread )

A normal 22 year old acts like a 23 year old.
But seriously, if you act older than whoever is around you at the time then your mature and theyre not.
Icant put it much simpler than that.

Trebor

Originally posted by senordingdong
A normal 22 year old acts like a 23 year old.
But seriously, if you act older than whoever is around you at the time then your mature and theyre not.
Icant put it much simpler than that.

i know you are trying to help but you are just proving my point that maturity can not be defined and yet people still use it. you say to act older than those around me but what is acting older?

senordingdong

Originally posted by Trebor
i know you are trying to help but you are just proving my point that maturity can not be defined and yet people still use it. you say to act older than those around me but what is acting older?

Pretty much just being somehting your not to look good in the eyes of other people.
To give an example....everyone is selfish, in one way or another, but as you get older and you mature more you learn to not listen to your own selfishness as much.
Now a child wouldnt have this inhibition, so i children openely express that they dont want to share their toys, sweets etc...but a child of the same age that does share would be considered mature for his/her age.

I suppose an example you could relate to would be someone your age just wants to enjoy themselves, go out all the time, go on holidays etc...but someone the same age as you that claims he/she doesnt want to do those things becasue "they have more important things to do/worry about" like pay a mortgage, look for a home, raise a family etc.....would be acting older than they are. (because apparently your only supposed to "settle down" when your in your thirties...just using a stereotypical example)
They would see themselves as being mature and someone like the first 22 year old would be regarded as immature in their eyes.

Maturity can be defined, its just that the words are thrown around alot these days so they dont really mean what theyre supposed to.

Hope that was of helpful.

Trebor

Originally posted by senordingdong
Pretty much just being somehting your not to look good in the eyes of other people.
To give an example....everyone is selfish, in one way or another, but as you get older and you mature more you learn to not listen to your own selfishness as much.
Now a child wouldnt have this inhibition, so i children openely express that they dont want to share their toys, sweets etc...but a child of the same age that does share would be considered mature for his/her age.

I suppose an example you could relate to would be someone your age just wants to enjoy themselves, go out all the time, go on holidays etc...but someone the same age as you that claims he/she doesnt want to do those things becasue "they have more important things to do/worry about" like pay a mortgage, look for a home, raise a family etc.....would be acting older than they are. (because apparently your only supposed to "settle down" when your in your thirties...just using a stereotypical example)
They would see themselves as being mature and someone like the first 22 year old would be regarded as immature in their eyes.

Maturity can be defined, its just that the words are thrown around alot these days so they dont really mean what theyre supposed to.

Hope that was of helpful.

you going to hate me for saying this

as you say all people are selfish, but i don't think that as people get older they learn to ignore their selfishness. i think that it just changes, the people who chose to get a mortgage are doing so for the sake of owning a house. in both cases the person is making a choice about the way they live their lives. how can one be mature and one not? they both get pleasure. people only settle down because they want to. i know you are saying that in the eyes of society settling down is mature but that is the cliché is it not more mature to do what you want and to be happy with that?

so you are saying that maturity is relative to the person saying it? if thats so how can it be used so often when describing someone? e.g. you ask a person to describe someone else and they call that person immature without saying what they think of as being mature. that could then lead you to misinterpreting what the person is really like.

senordingdong

Originally posted by Trebor
you going to hate me for saying this

in both cases the person is making a choice about the way they live their lives. how can one be mature and one not? they both get pleasure. people only settle down because they want to. i know you are saying that in the eyes of society settling down is mature but that is the cliché is it not more mature to do what you want and to be happy with that?

so you are saying that maturity is relative to the person saying it? if thats so how can it be used so often when describing someone? e.g. you ask a person to describe someone else and they call that person immature without saying what they think of as being mature. that could then lead you to misinterpreting what the person is really like.

Becasue one man makes a choice that makes him look more mature than someone else of his age in the eyes of society, whereas the other person just spends his time having fun etc...which is associated with being young which in turn (as we all know) is associated with being immature.

And yes in alot of cases the interpretation of mature/imature is relative only to the person saying it. As for how its used so often....it just is.

The Corinthian

In the context you have described - laughing at something stupid - what is meant by maturity probably is the general level of intelligence.

Humour tends to be constructed in such a way as to entertain the mind with a clever play on words or circumstances, one of the hallmarks being that you don’t know or can’t work out the punch-line before it is delivered - which is why jokes you’ve heard before tend not to be funny any more. As such if the subject and punch-line of a joke is obvious, it will often be considered immature as it is the sort of punch-line that would only surprise, and thus amuse, an immature (as in underdeveloped) mind.

Thus, often when we speak of immature individuals, especially when they are of an age that they should be mature, what we are really saying is that they have a sub-normal IQ.

Sorry Trebor... :rolleyes:

Trebor

ok i will just have to accept that maturity can not be defined for all but is relative to who you are talking to. either way i will stop using it as a term to describe someone as it is not precise enough.

thank you all for your replies

senordingdong

Originally posted by Trebor
ok i will just have to accept that maturity can not be defined for all but is relative to who you are talking to. either way i will stop using it as a term to describe someone as it is not precise enough.

thank you all for your replies

All those in favour say "i".

i.