Tallaght Man!!

Hello Kitty · 20-04-2004 4:16pm #1

At the end of the bar in the Penthouse pub is a huge Tallaght bloke 6ft 5
and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and obviously
gay man walks in and sits beside him.

After three or four beers the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to
say something to the big Tallaght scumbag and leaning over towards him,
he whispers, "Do you want a blow-job?"

At this the massive Tallaght fella leaps up with fire in his eyes and
smacks the man in the face, knocking him swiftly off the stool.
He proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving
him bruised and battered in the car park and returning to his seat.

Amazed, the barman quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen
you react like that, " he says, "just what did he say to you?"

"I'm not sure", the Tallaght citizen replies, "something about a job"

A LETTER FROM A TALLAGHT MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER IN ENGLAND.

Dear Louise,

I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last Tallaght family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Dinny said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Seamus locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if yo're an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother

Uncle Ned fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully, and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a Hi-Ace pick-up. Paddy was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down

There isn't much more news at this time.

Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mam

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.