When was it first mentioned in the bible

billy the squid

I'm looking for more of these

when was football first mentioned in the bible

When Jesus went in for the cross and got nailed by the two defenders

When was Dioreah first mentioned

When moses ran down the mountain with two tablets

When was Drugs first mentioned

When Mary Magdeline got stoned

When were travellers first mentioned

Hosannah in a hiace

When was sex first mentioned

When Jesus got laid in the tomb

anyone got any more

WizZard

Terrible jokes, really unfunny

Chinafoot

i have to say........i loved the football one.

modular

I'm pretty sure sex was mentioned in the Old Testament.

Raphael

well if you want divine sex, id recommend greek mythology

Glyn

what was the first mention of pole vaulting?

when jesus cleared the walls of the temple...

quank

Aye. The football one was decent

Bunny

Originally posted by Glyn
what was the first mention of pole vaulting?

when jesus cleared the walls of the temple...

When jesus cleared the temple

maybe you should try 'when jesus cleared the walls of the temple by using his pole vault to pole vault over said walls' its about as funny...

MrJoeSoap

I thought they were alright, the football one was class.

Okie

The first mention of PMS in the Bible. And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.

The first mention of "race fixing" in the Bible. Jesus told Lazarus to "come Fourth."

The first mention of "Formula 1 Racing" in the Bible. "All of Israel heard the roar of his Triumph."

The first mention of "smoking" in the Bible. "Sarah lit up on a camel."

The first mention of "laxatives" in the Bible. "Moses took two tablets and went up on the mount."

The first mention of "tennis" in the Bible. "Joseph served on Pharaoh's court."

The first mention of "motorcycles" in the Bible. "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

The first mention of "computer languages" in the Bible. "Go FORTH and multiply!"

The first mention of "programming style" in the Bible. "GO TO, and let us confuse their language."

The first mention of "sex" in the Bible. "Jesus was Layed in the tomb." or "Jesus going to Mount Olive."

The first mention of "constipation" in the Bible. "Baalam's ass would not move."

The first mention of "drugs" in the Bible. "Mary Magdalen getting stoned."

The first mention of "Baseball" in the Bible. "And Rachael took a pitcher to the well."

The first mention of "The lord's name" in the Bible. "Our father who art in heaven HALLOWED be thy name."

The first mention of "automobile" in the Bible. "The apostles were in one ACCORD"

The first mention of "baseball" in the Bible. "In the Big-Inning"

The first mention of automobiles in the Bible. "Moses came down the hill in his Triumph."


and my favourite: -


The first mention of "elasticity" in the Bible. "Jesus tying his ass to a tree and then walking 40 miles into the desert."

Tusky

they really are terrible...

ferdi

Originally posted by Okie
The first mention of PMS in the Bible. And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.

best of a bad lot

Zoton

First mention of a drugs bust : Jesus got nailed.

First mention that Phil Collins had divine powers : Genesis

Tyrrial

The first mention of "elasticity" in the Bible. "Jesus tying his ass to a tree and then walking 40 miles into the desert."

class:D

Imposter

The first mention of rugby in the bible: Jesus converted the jews

Capt'n Midnight

Originally posted by modular
I'm pretty sure sex was mentioned in the Old Testament.

www.thebricktestament.com

Glyn

maybe you should try 'when jesus cleared the walls of the temple by using his pole vault to pole vault over said walls' its about as funny...

Meeeeeeeeeeow

UnrealQueen

Originally posted by Okie
The first mention of PMS in the Bible. And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.

An absolutely ridiculous one. I'm sure it was a male who thought that one up.:rolleyes:

Cake Fiend

Originally posted by Okie
The first mention of "The lord's name" in the Bible. "Our father who art in heaven HALLOWED be thy name."

When I was young, I thought it was 'Harold'.

Agent Smith

it was funney when i first heard them, bout ten years ago