Can't take things seriously!

LegacyUser

I wonder could you give me some thoughts/help on the following. I find that if someone tells me something very sad and grave, I find myself struggling not to laugh. My g/f told me the other day that her male friend at work was raped by another coworker after their Christmas party - I couldn't stop laughing for ages at that. Her sister's best friend (female) was attacked and mugged last week but I only grinned when I heard that. I also can't help giggling when I see someone with Down's Syndrome or someone in a wheelchair.
I know it's totally inappropriate and even if I do find others' misfortune to be hilarious, I shouldn't show it. I was wondering do other people ever find themselves shaking with laughter when they hear how someone has been mangled in a car wreck/mauled by a dog/broken their legs?

damnyanks

Not really.

Don't worry, you're probably clinicaly insane. Its ok to laugh at people then, mainly cause others take pity on you

Going Demented

I also can't help giggling when I see someone with Down's Syndrome or someone in a wheelchair.

Grow up!

I was wondering do other people ever find themselves shaking with laughter when they hear how someone has been mangled in a car wreck/mauled by a dog/broken their legs?

Yeah i find it hard not to pee my pants. :rolleyes: NO!!


If you are being serious on your above comments you must suffer from very low self-image if you laugh at other peoples misfortune. Does it make you feel better?

Pigman II

Used to do that myself tbh. Grew out of it pretty quickly because it's not going to help you in life.

As to why you're doing it I think when you're listening to generic tragic story #137 regarding 'my best-friends cousins uncles brother' (or bascially anyone you don't know from Adam) a certain detactment to the seriousness of the story overtakes your concern. As such whilst it doesn't mean you find someone getting mangled in a carcrash amusing at the same time you don't TRUELY care either and because in those circumstance you find the generic 'oh how awful for them' response that everyone else gives to be very fake you inadvertantly turn to nervous laughter.

As to the downsyndrome people I'd reckon you're just nervous to be around them and don't know how to deal with the situation in a non-offensive/non-patronising way . Once during a religious class in my old school we were brought to a shampoo bottle factory to meet a bunch of handicapped people to see how they dealt with life. The quietest guy in the class (a real wallflower who wouldn't fart in case you heard it) started acting all weird around them and giggling uncontrobably. Turned out he was just nervous as fcuk to be around them because he didn't want to open his mouth and accidentally say anything that would offend them.

joePC

My g/f told me the other day that her male friend at work was raped by another coworker after their Christmas party

I did laugh when I read this, but tis not funny........I think you need to grow up, laughing at someone with Down's Syndrome or someone in a wheelchair is down right ignorant & rude.

Thanks joePC

secret_squirrel

try empathising with people, start thinking about how you would feel in the same position - at least learn to cover your reactions until you get this thing under control - before everyone thinks you're a twat.

Sarky

Before?

seamus

Originally posted by Sarky
Before?

Before everybody jumps to conclusions, I'm pretty sure that this guy isn't purposely laughing, or feels that the situation is funny.

If you are being serious on your above comments you must suffer from very low self-image if you laugh at other peoples misfortune. Does it make you feel better?

Immediate jump to conclusions for example. If this guy actually thought it was OK to laugh at other people's tragedies, he wouldn't be posting here asking for help.

I used to do this quite a bit. It's completely involuntary, and I personally could keep it under control, although I never found myself bursting out laughing, and once I wasn't speaking about it anymore, the laughter thing went away.

People deal with sad news in different ways. It's a pure nervous laughter, coming from not knowing what to do or say. I beleive it comes from having a mostly happy childhood. As a kid, I never had friends or family who were killed in car wrecks, or disappeared, or who were in any way hindicapped, disabled etc - in fact, I didn't really have any situation where I would have to empathise with anybody on a sad occasion or tragedy. So it left me kind of inexperienced in dealing with such things, and would result in a nervous laughter.

So yeah, it's something you grow out of, as you do begin to experience these things, and begin to be less uncomfortable in such situations. I personally, have become a bit detached from such situations, so while I'm much more comfortable dealing with blind/deaf/disabled people, etc, sad news has very little impact on me. Unless I knew the person, or the death was particularly tragic, I usually couldn't care less, choosing to beleive that "shit happens", but will sympathise for the sake of the person.

People deal with sad news in different ways. This man's laughter is his way of dealing with exceedingly uncomfortable situations, other people avoid them at all costs, and other people fidget excessively, or talk too much.
Eventually most people over time become "comfortable" with uncomfortable situations I would think.

MeatProduct

I feel it's a reflection of yourself and your emotional state. Try taking up meditation, spend more time alone in thought. The inside is reflected on the outside.

Nick

SantaHoe

If you are being serious on your above comments you must suffer from very low self-image if you laugh at other peoples misfortune. Does it make you feel better?

Wow, way off the mark there I think.
No need for a personal attack here, he obviously knows its not appropriate to laugh your arse off at someone when they tell you something bad has happened to them... why else would he/she post here?

I've experienced it myself at times although not to the extent of the original poster, it's just nervous laughter when something takes you by surprise and your brain just doesn't know what else to do.
I have to agree with what Pigman II said.
It's not as if you're going to be sitting around in a pub later recounting the sad story and laughing about it, because it's not that you really find it funny, it was only a reaction - just like a gasp.
It's unfortunate though, since it can make you come across as an asshole at the worst possible time.
Think I just grew out of it though.

Edit: Oops think I've just echo'ed a lot of what's already been said - I only skimmed through the responses once I spotted some of the more unfair comments... but there ye go.

joe.

i think this boy is taking the mick. looking for reactions from all you guys. look back. can't see any reply from the idiotic amadán

l3rian

My g/f told me the other day that her male friend at work was raped by another coworker after their Christmas party - I couldn't stop laughing for ages at that.

that is really funny

I feel it's a reflection of yourself and your emotional state. Try taking up meditation, spend more time alone in thought. The inside is reflected on the outside.

that is also funny

I was wondering do other people ever find themselves shaking with laughter when they hear how someone has been mangled in a car wreck/mauled by a dog/broken their legs?

these things are not funny unless you witness the event, and the event was somehow funny, for instance: if someone really deserved to be hurt, like they did something really stupid and got beat over the head with a knifestick for it, now thats comedy

neuro-praxis

You're probably using this as a defense mechanism. As long as you behave like this, it will be hard for you to form proper relationships, because you will be viewed as callous and untrustworthy.

You are in control of your reactions. Stop laughing and start empathising. I'm sure the funniness will wear off.

Also, maybe stop being so inwardly focused. Do some volunteer work with handicapped people or on a helpline.

I sincerely doubt that you'll be taking up the above suggestion, however.

Unexpected

I have the same problem. I can't help it. I know it is terribly sad,

My g/f told me the other day that her male friend at work was raped by another coworker after their Christmas party - I couldn't stop laughing for ages at that. I also can't help giggling when I see someone with Down's Syndrome or someone in a wheelchair.

Its not at all funny but I laught too. It is actually really annoying because you know it is wrong. The only reason I would laugh at people in wheelchairs is if they have a funny facial expression. I know its sad but I can not help it.

l3rian

Also, maybe stop being so inwardly focused. Do some volunteer work with handicapped people or on a helpline.

thats the funniest yet

Kali

Originally posted by neuro-praxis
Also, maybe stop being so inwardly focused. Do some volunteer work with handicapped people or on a helpline.

I sincerely doubt that you'll be taking up the above suggestion, however.

They could rename it to Laughline... "let the healing powers of humour rid you of your problems"... calls cost e1.80/min.

RossFixxxed

Ohhh please give me attention. I'm so shocking and out there. Troll. Walk on by.

D

I experience the same problem but it is mostly limited to bad-taste jokes. I hear a joke, think it's funny and laugh out loud.

kelle

Shameful joy, I just feel like giving you a slap across the face. Would you laugh then?

Oriel

Though I would not wish it on anybody, I have to admit that I would have a smug smile on my face if you got crippled in a car accient tomorrow, even if only just to see who was laughing then.
I think that you would see things from a different point of view.

For those of you out there who see some humour in this I had a nephew with Down's Syndrome who died at two years old. So please withhold those comments.

But then I do also think that this is a troll. So I'm going to stop there, before saying something that I do actually regret.

Please lock,
Sincerely yours.

seamus

Originally posted by Sinecure
Though I would not wish it on anybody, I have to admit that I would have a smug smile on my face if you got crippled in a car accient tomorrow, even if only just to see who was laughing then.
I think that you would see things from a different point of view.

For those of you out there who see some humour in this I had a nephew with Down's Syndrome who died at two years old. So please withhold those comments.

But then I do also think that this is a troll. So I'm going to stop there, before saying something that I do actually regret.

Please lock,
Sincerely yours.

Not singling you out Sinecure, but I can't see why people think this is a troll.
It's something that does happen to other people, and he's rightly ashamed that he laughs at other people's misfortune. I fail to see how people are offended or angry at this?

Caesar_Bojangle

My g/f told me the other day that her male friend at work was raped by another coworker after their Christmas party

I laughed at that but I doubt I'd be laughing if I was the one being prodded.

I'll be honest and say that I have very little empathy for anyone other than those close to me. If I was to watch the news and it said 100,000 were killed in Kabul or twenty school children were killed on a school trip in France, it wouldn't have any kind of affect upon me.


The way I look at it people tend to act three different ways in awkward situations. (i)They ignore it and pretend its not there, (ii) they’ll offer some assistance to make themselves feel better, or (iii)they'll alternate between two minds on whether they should help or ignore the person, but in the end they just stand there nervously watching the person unaware of what they should do.

Unpossible

I'll be honest and say that I have very little empathy for anyone other than those close to me. If I was to watch the news and it said 100,000 were killed in Kabul or twenty school children were killed on a school trip in France, it wouldn't have any kind of affect upon me.

same here, even the dublin bus accident a while back had no effect on me what so ever. While i wouldn't laugh at accident victims/handicapped people, I would laugh if there was a funny story as to how they got to their current state,

Sleepy

It all comes down to a simple human reaction. Which would you rather?

One member of your family/a close friend to die?
One thousand people from your hometown to die in a plane crash?
One million people to die in an earthquake half way across the world?

Unless you particularly hate your hometown, nearly everyone who has that question put to them will give the third answer if they're completely honest.

Emboss

Originally posted by Shameful Joy
I wonder could you give me some thoughts/help on the following. I find that if someone tells me something very sad and grave, I find myself struggling not to laugh. My g/f told me the other day that her male friend at work was raped by another coworker after their Christmas party - I couldn't stop laughing for ages at that. Her sister's best friend (female) was attacked and mugged last week but I only grinned when I heard that. I also can't help giggling when I see someone with Down's Syndrome or someone in a wheelchair.
I know it's totally inappropriate and even if I do find others' misfortune to be hilarious, I shouldn't show it. I was wondering do other people ever find themselves shaking with laughter when they hear how someone has been mangled in a car wreck/mauled by a dog/broken their legs?

Ah don't worry about it...

roll on more laughter i say

maybe give the downies a break eh?