Ideas for not being so bitter?

hhhhhh

Kind of a relationship/singles post.Been single for eighteen months, bad break up with the ex and since then little or nothing.Had a couple of women lead me on six weeks or two months or going out and before sex had come into it they would tell me they want to be my friend!WTF
Has any other guy got the friend thing?I thought about it why would i want to be friends with someone i want to sleep with?
How do you stop becoming a friend of a woman you want to sleep with?
I'm in the middle of a dry spell to put it mildly, out clubbing and pubing but nothing, i aint ugly, aint too picky, just a 22 year old bloke...any advice?
Most of my mates going out with GFs for a couple of years at this stage, and all though we meet up theres little interest from them in heading to clubs etc...kinda joined at the hip to GFs which leaves me kinda idle...then again i know how it it when your going out with someone.
Fed up of heading out, trying it on with all sorts of women,(had a crazy $itch bite last week as we kissed in the middle of a club but no more!)...need advice as i aint enjoying myself when i go out, which is with the intention of geting some...i know that i'm kinda (very) desperate and could do with some advice and experiences.
It's been said that when you don't actually give a dam thats when the women will be all over you...any truth in that?
..had this chat with my brother he reckons im crazy to be even thinking of permanent Gfs at 22!

arkles

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"Has any other guy got the friend thing"

reply
well im after getting it after 6 years, but thats another thread i guess
in ur case the words "sleep with" aint the best way to be thinking, the words should be "love with"

Havelock

We all get dry spells. I'm terrible sorry to say women have a great nose for despiration, we (men) most sweat some warning chemical or something when we are fustrated and despiratly looking. The only advice I ever found to be useful is relax, don't aim for sex, look for a girl you like. Someone you might care for. There is an awful lot more to life than sex.

As for the friends thing, women will do that. It might eb you didn't make you move soon enought or too early. Not much help, sorry. But thats how it goes. Try to think about where you are with someone. Next time you meet a fiesty woman, you never know you might (if you are spontanious) be in bed that night (or against a tree in park etc etc).

Going out to the clubs and all that, don't look at it as a wasted night if you don't pull, go out to have fun. If you friends won't go make new friends while out. Have a laugh and make the night enjoyable just by being a night out.

martarg

Had a couple of women lead me on six weeks or two months or going out and before sex had come into it they would tell me they want to be my friend!

I think it would have been worse if they had told you after sex

Now, seriously, perhaps you are too obsessed with the girlfriend issue. Probably there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a permanent relationship as young as 22, but don't let the reason be because all your friends are in one and you feel left out... ahem, on the other hand, I understand that you should feel frustrated if your only aim when you go out is "getting some"... so, nothing very original, I guess, but I suggest you broaden your horizons It is not about "not giving a d_mn", it's about not letting sex--or the lack of it--rule your life. If it is out of your control, don't get frustrated about it, just look for compensations elsewhere... Go out for the fun of it, enjoy your friends' company the while they are not all over their girlfriends, and if "some" comes along, so much the better... just relax... (On the other hand, when going out together, make sure you are not the only single guy surrounded by couples, that's risky! )

ferdi

Originally posted by Havelock
We all get dry spells.

some of us get droughts.

Sleepy

Originally posted by ferdi
some of us get droughts.

You're preaching to the choir!

Sarky

Hey! What's wrong with being bitter?

tribble

22 years old - permanent relationship?!?

OMG - thats's crazy talk.

Of the 7 or 8 closest mates only 1 has a girlfriend on anything like a semi-serious level.

Wanting a permanent girlfriend at 22 is a class/education issue - dont worry about it.

Kell

Originally posted by Sarky
Hey! What's wrong with being bitter?

Being bitter only serves to damage you long term. It's a little gnawing hurt that causes you harm over and over any time you think of it, and should be avoided if at all possible.

Anyways, for those that told hhhhh he should just relax in clubs pubs etc, well he cant really as he has pointed out that most of his mates have been in long term relationships and arent really in the pub/club going category.

The friends thing does happen a lot, but hhhhh should be selling himself a bit more or working on the schmoozing skills. When you meet the next chick, make sure that she will virtually be begging you to rip her knickers off, or be blunt about it and say "look, I would really like to get into your knickers and can you tell me how I would go about doing that". You'll be surprised when the reaction isnt a slap in the chops.

You have got to be really confident about what you want. I mean, think about it. Confident meeting and chatting up a stranger usually translates into confidence in bed and you have gotta make them see that.

I wonder why people assume that when they fail at something it is someone elses fault? Why dont you ponder what it is YOU are doing wrong not to be bedding who you like on a regular basis rather than go "I do everything right so its got to be someone elses fault"

K-

PS- Kell is having a bad day

Memnoch

Originally posted by tribble
22 years old - permanent relationship?!?

OMG - thats's crazy talk.

Of the 7 or 8 closest mates only 1 has a girlfriend on anything like a semi-serious level.

Wanting a permanent girlfriend at 22 is a class/education issue - dont worry about it.

hmmm... i'm 23 years old and been with my current gf for nearly 4 years now... we plan on staying together indefinately... so whats your point?

just because most relationships don't work out at a young age doesn't mean you shouldn't try to have a long lasting relaitonship.