Why is it I cannot remain ?

[DF]Lenny

My life as a whole is somewhat malnurished.It remains to be seen if im talkin ..just rubbish.My brain calls on me when it so requires,but fails to connect the all important wires.
My mission is simple my signals are less,,I cannot comprehend the meaning of chess,
I can just but waffle when needs do require ,
I need help very quick afore my brain does expire
But riddle me slowly and riddle me quick
it may not be long before i do a trick
It will ruffle no feathers and cause but a murmer,
bit the treamors it sends will reach a lot further
The modus operandi will come back on me again,
Why is life by most people..treated as pain

Doctor Funfrock

complete crap sorry

flogen

while Funrock is nothing but a troll, I must say I agree somewhat.
The issue your describing is very very regular, its nothing more than teen angst, and so, to set yourself apart you need to be more creative.

Its badly structured, with bad rhymes for the sake of rhymes.

You need to be more strict with your work, theres nothing wrong with using writing as a means of venting, i always do it, but dont be under any illusion that they have artistic merit.

I hate to be so blunt, but i think you could possibly have something if you just try, like most people tbh

Flogen

Doctor Funfrock

haha what is your problem??

[DF]Lenny

Errr..Alcoholism..this was meant for a different forum tbh,well oiled when written.