Cremation?

Töpher

Right, this seemed like the best section for this...

My grandad passed away early this morning, now this is over in England, so because of the way they do things over there it's a week until the funeral. But I have just been told that he asked to be cremated. Has anyone any experiences of one of these? As I have not been to one I have no idea what to expect. Kinda got some distressing ideas in my head that I hope to Christ aren't true.

Anyone know exactly what will happen?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Einstürzende
Kinda got some distressing ideas in my head that I hope to Christ aren't true.

sorry to hear about your Grandad Einstürzende

what are the distressing ideas in your head?

Fionn101

to start with , Sorry to hear of your loss,

it's not as bad as bedlam describes nowdays , at least in England, there is a service with the coffin on display and then at the end of the service a see through curtain closes around the coffin, you walk outside and it's over.

Having been to both types of crematoriums I found the English way far better ,
As it's too final to see it disappearing through the small doors (in an irish service)and often led to a lot of people breaking down at that point (same as the earth covering a coffin in burials)

Whereas finishing a sermon, and walking back out of the chapel , with the coffin still on display is very less traumatic , you know they will tkae it away at some stage but not there and then

sincerley

Fionn

growler

I was at a cremation in Newcastle recently so I suspect it will follow the same format, everyone gathers in the chapel , the vicar gives a short talk similar to your Irish funeral sermon, the closed coffin is on display on a platform / altar , when the vicar finishes the curtains close and everyone files out past the family and on to a rememberance garden (where flower tributes are etc). It's all very civilised and you won't be confronted with any unpleasant scenes on the day.

Like yourself I was a bit unsure about what I was going to see.

Sorry to hear about your Grandad.


Dave

michaelanthony

At my Aunt's funeral, after the mass when everybody normally follows the coffin out to the graveyard for burial, the coffin went off unaccompanied in the hearse to the crematorium.

Töpher

Thanks for the replies guys, it's eased my concerns, and it certainly sounds like it won't be as distressing as I had thought. I had thought that perhaps the coffin was burned or something in front of you, I know that may seem a little overboard, but I wasn't thinking straight earlier on. Nice to know I won't have to see that. Still confused as to why the english wait a week, strikes me as odd, but thats just cuz I'm used to Irish funerals really.

Again, thank you for the kind replies

koneko

Just adding my experience aswell, tho it's much the same as others mentioned.

Was also in the UK (grandad) and the same story, curtain at the end and everyone leaves. No unpleasant scenes like you might have imaged, you'll be okay.

And, sorry to hear about your grandad

echomadman

Still confused as to why the english wait a week, strikes me as odd, but thats just cuz I'm used to Irish funerals really.

Most people think irish funerals are appalingly rushed, a week gives relatives time to prepare and people to come home from abroad.
When my uncle died a lot of the family simply couldn't get home in time to be at the service.
Condolences on your loss too.

mike65

I'll echo what was said from my dads cremation. As for the time, as said its to give everyone the chance to come to terms.

Mind you if you think Irish funerals are a rush job look at how they do things in the islamic world - 24 hours is slow!

Mike.

SantaHoe

Personally I find cremation a bit eerie, although I've never been to one... I just don't like the idea of it somehow, can't put my finger on it.
I mean can you see smoke coming up out of the chapel chimney?
I wouldn't be too eager to touch someones ashes for scattering either, knowing it was a person and all.
I think cremation is one of my major phobias.

I don't want to upset anyone by bringing back hard memories, sorry if I did

mike65

I find cremation a tidier solution myself. Would'nt fancy rotting away somehow...

Mike.

secret_squirrel

Sorry about your grandad Einstürzende. I can just echo what everyone else said about a cremation. Its all very civilised, the coffin goes behind the curtain and that's it really, you dont pick up the ashes for a day or so.

There's certainly no smoke as someone mentioned.

And as for scattering the ashes some families leave them in the urn and put them in an alcove in the crematorium/cemetary. My Dad, Brother and me took my mums ashes and scattered them together, just the 3 of us. Touching and scattering the ashes was intensly emotional but really cathartic as well..... (but horses for courses here I think)

I also find the fact that I may have breathed in a part of my mum rather comforting..as if she will always be with me. (But I can imagine that would really freak some people!!)

...and ashes just look like ashes...if they werent in a urn you wouldnt know what they were.

When its my turn its how I want to go.....