How to meet women?

Sleepy

This is something I've been wondering since I moved to Dublin. With the size of this city it's not likely that you'll just happen to bump into the same person more than once. Does this mean people up here are actually using the whole American thing of taking someone's number and asking them out on dates etc.?

Coming from the situation where I went to college in the city I grew up in (Galway) I'm completely lost when it comes to meeting people up here. The crowd I work with, whilce nice people, are all a lot older than me (I'm 23). I know relatively few people up here and those that I do are the same lads I grew up with at home so there's no opportunity to meeting new people when I go out with them. Even at that, meeting up with them is a major effort because I'm living way out on the south side of the city (Deans Grange/Foxrock) so it takes the best part of an hour to get to their place in town/meet in a pub etc.

I know the obvious answer to meeting new people is to join a club or whatever I'm just wondering, well, I'm not sure what I'm wondering, I'd just like to hear what other people have to say on this, whether any of you have gone through the same situation?

Nuttzz

The crowd I work with, whilce nice people, are all a lot older than me

how much older?

Clubs, gyms, boards events etc, all the usual suspects really, or meeting point in the evening hearld

"23M from Galway living in Dublin WLTM cleaning living single RC girl 18-25 for friendship with a view to romance........"

Sleepy

"23M from Galway living in Dublin WLTM cleaning living single RC girl 18-25 for friendship with a view to romance........"

Not quite yet now tbh... And what's an RC girl? Do they come with remote controls now?:cool:

And older as in kids and mortgages older. I'm the first person the company has hired straight from college in quite a long time...

skipn_easy

How long have you been up here?

It takes time to settle in and get good friends. The only way I know how to do it is by being outgoing and trying to meet as many people as possible. Accept invitations to anything and you should start meeting new people. Even your older work colleagues will probably know people who are younger that you might be more interested in.

Try going to places on a regular basis - pub or coffee shop or whatever. You might get chatting to the staff if they notice you're a regular or else to other regular customers. It gives you an opportunity to start up a conversation with people anyway. And if you're out in the pub with your mates from home, or work colleagues then get chatting to people at the bar or sitting/standing next to you. They might invite you along to the party or the next bar they're going to. Its all easier said then done.

Sleepy

Been up since last June. TBH, it's not a major problem for me. I enjoy my own company, have no problems going to the cinema/museums etc on my own. Just got unlucky in that the people I work with and live with are all very different from me. Nothing in common with them at all.

I'm a pretty out-going guy, but I find that people in Ireland seem to be getting almost afraid of strangers at this stage. You get some of the funniest looks when you try starting conversations with people at a bar/whatever. My own personal favourite involved the time a girl in Café En Seine decided to ask me what I was earning within 5 minutes of making my acquaintance... Needless to say, I cut her down at the knees... I'd imagine it's coming from Galway that makes this so strange for me. I'm used the the UCG atmosphere of an open, friendly nature. It's jsut not like that up here, people are colder, or maybe more cautious. I dunno... was just curious if other people noticed it?

skipn_easy

Maybe its to do with being out of college? There's a really casual relaxed nature in college where people don't care how much you're earning or what you do and generally are open to talking to anyone. I guess that changes when you're out in the real world. I can't believe a girl would ask you how much you're earning after just meeting you! Jees, couldn't even be subtle about her gold-digging!

Johnny Versace

How to meet women?

I have a lot of female friends. Because they are my friends, and think highly of me, they tell their other female friends this who then get interested romantically/sexually in me.

Really, the best way to meet women without having to resort to the whole pub/club thing is through other women.

So you gotta make some female friends first...

It really does work. The last few girls I've slept with (sorry, don't know how else to say it) have been friends of some of my female friends.

The key is, how do you make female friends? It's really not that difficult. There was a girl on boards recently stating how she is lonely in Dublin and doesn't have many friends here. I invited her out with my friends and myself. Due to circumstances we ended up not meeting, but I know she would have "joined our group".

(sorry not sure if I'm making sense here - brain a bit hungover)

My point is. Be non-sexual with a girl who you do not fancy, become her friend, and women will follow. At this moment in time, I hang out with a very large group of girls, and I find it very easy to meet women.

Stark

www.gaydargirls.ie

My point is. Be non-sexual with a girl who you do not fancy, become her friend, and women will follow.

Ah using people, what can't you get by doing it

quarryman

Originally posted by Johnny Versace

I have a lot of female friends. Because they are my friends, and think highly of me

The last few girls I've slept with (sorry, don't know how else to say it) have been friends of some of my female friends.

.................... but I know she would have "joined our group".

............at this moment in time, I hang out with a very large group of girls, and I find it very easy to meet women.

our group? is that your Hugh Hefner group of "buddies"? it must be great having so many friends you "don't fancy" so you can get sexual with the ones you do.

if only they knew.

Laguna

yeah that isn't a nice way to treat people, "Hey i don't fancy you but i'm talking to you to install cable on yer fine friend there"

Johnny Versace

Originally posted by Laguna
yeah that isn't a nice way to treat people, "Hey i don't fancy you but i'm talking to you to install cable on yer fine friend there"

Hang on... don't over analyse! My point was, when you have female friends it is easy to meet other women.

I never said they weren't my friends.

Laguna

oh right. fair enough.. i.. apologise man

Sleepy

Oh, well aware of the friend of a friend scenario. My question was more an attempt to spark some suggestions/ a discussion on meeting people in general... not just finding women for one night stands etc.

Since I've moved here I've come to the conclusion that Dublin's a great place if you're rich, but not so great if you're a student or just starting out on the professional ladder. Almost every activity you can think of costs money: whether it be scuba diving lessons or French classes. If I was a competent footballer/hurler/hockey player/whatever I'd just join a team. Unfortunately for me, the only sport I'm any good at is paintball and it's a bloody expensive past-time.

As regards the gold-digger, surely this is an acceptable time to hit a girl?:p

skipn_easy

Its an acceptablet time to hint to her that you're loaded, get her to go up and order lots of expensive drinks and then do a legger.

catsup

Originally posted by Johnny Versace
How to meet women?


The key is, how do you make female friends? It's really not that difficult. There was a girl on boards recently stating how she is lonely in Dublin and doesn't have many friends here. I invited her out with my friends and myself. Due to circumstances we ended up not meeting, but I know she would have "joined our group".

:eek: just curious as to why you use " " when talking about someone joining your group? is this a euphamism? looks a bit sordid when you put it like that... what would your mammy say?!

maybe its better that clarebear stayed away rather than join your hareem?:D

Sleepy

Not far from what I did tbh. I'd already mentioned where I lived and she assumed I meant I owned the house so I let her think so and then called her a gold digging whore in a just-loud-enough voice for the rest of the pub to hear...

quarryman

ooo oo........ what happened next?!

more!

Johnny Versace

Originally posted by catsup
:eek: just curious as to why you use " " when talking about someone joining your group? is this a euphamism? looks a bit sordid when you put it like that... what would your mammy say?!

maybe its better that clarebear stayed away rather than join your hareem?:D

Yeah sorry, didn't mean it to sound sleazy

I was trying to emphasise that my group of friends would have grown.

Sleepy

I turned away and got in my round...

What else could I have done that wouldn't have involved ending up in a police cell?

Agent Smith

sleepy, a rc girl is a roman cathlioc girl
afaik

MojoMaker

Sleepy, sorry dude, you have a massive chip about folk ahead of you on the social ladder. Why?

That's why it's called a ladder, people move up and down it. No point resenting someone for their current status lad. It's not the first thread in which you've displayed this rather obnoxious attitude either. have you considered that you have a problem people in general, not to mention attractive Dublin women because you give off palpable waves of resentment which you may well not be aware of in the slightest?

I've seen people like this. They don't score and have few friends. The good news is it's eminently curable.

bdiddy

dude...... start throwin out and collectin numbers. its easier than most people think. i do it all the time. I'm livin n Cork d last few months and am findin i have the same problem. I've never had problems meetin people b4 in Mayo,Clare,Montpellier or Limerick but d last cupla months have been different. i've nothin against people down here-they're great but its harder when ur not cn d same people on a reg basis. What i've started doing to good effect is askin girls for thier numbers when i'm talkin 2 dem long enuf....most will(in my case anyway) give u dere numbers and b happy enuf if u txt on a less than reg basis(too often and u'll scare dem off). Even if ur not intrested romantically u often meet the most interesting prople in pubs and the reason i als end up meetin girls is that i cudnt n my rite mind ask a fella for his number :eek: so we cud meet 4 a pint.

mirv

I don't see how he's got an issue with people higher up than him, it seems like he has more of an issue with some ladies who would like to get their claws into people higher up and reap the benefits without working the way up themselves.

Originally posted by MojoMaker
Sleepy, sorry dude, you have a massive chip about folk ahead of you on the social ladder. Why?

That's why it's called a ladder, people move up and down it. No point resenting someone for their current status lad. It's not the first thread in which you've displayed this rather obnoxious attitude either. have you considered that you have a problem people in general, not to mention attractive Dublin women because you give off palpable waves of resentment which you may well not be aware of in the slightest?

I've seen people like this. They don't score and have few friends. The good news is it's eminently curable.

blondie83

Join a sports club or something - thats a great way to meet new ppl. Also, like someone said earlier, go to the same pub/cafe a lot, become a regular, and get to know the other regulars. When they've seen you around before they'll generally be quite friendly towards you, as opposed to ppl who have never seen you before

Sleepy

Originally posted by MojoMaker
Sleepy, sorry dude, you have a massive chip about folk ahead of you on the social ladder. Why?

That's why it's called a ladder, people move up and down it. No point resenting someone for their current status lad. It's not the first thread in which you've displayed this rather obnoxious attitude either. have you considered that you have a problem people in general, not to mention attractive Dublin women because you give off palpable waves of resentment which you may well not be aware of in the slightest?

I've seen people like this. They don't score and have few friends. The good news is it's eminently curable.

You believe in the idea of a "social ladder", deem me to be lower on it than you and call me obnoxious?

I believe that people should be friendly or at least polite to strangers. Maybe it's coming from an area where for the most part people are like that or maybe it's because I've "a chip on my shoulder" that I may "not be aware of in the slightest".

I probably just expect too much from people. :rolleyes:

brainstorm

What i've started doing to good effect is askin girls for thier numbers when i'm talkin 2 dem long enuf....most will(in my case anyway) give u dere numbers and b happy enuf if u txt on a less than reg basis(too often and u'll scare dem off).

maybe thats what sleepy is trying to get at.... where/how did u meet these women in the first place(were u introduced to them by someone?) and how long did u wait before u asked for her number, also how did u ask for it without giving her the impression that you wanted to be more than firends with her?

Lainey

be brave.. if you are chatting to a girl you like then ask for her number....
if she declines, not the end of the world... sometimes a woman would like to be asked for her number too.. some are even brazen and will ask he he

planck2

I'm sure RC doesn't mean Roman Catholic in this context, I mean what idiot would put that in a personal ad. My advice man is once september comes get yourself out to the Student bar in trinity, ucd and go clubbing in Q bar, Redz, the Pod, Zanzibar

planck2

Would that be your kind Lainey, you go for it girl, you man eater

Johnny Versace

How good looking are you?

How confident are you?

How charming are you?

Seriously. Without at least one of these being a big positive, you're going to have big problems no matter what technique you use to find women.

Charm comes with practice. MY friends and I went through a phase a few years ago where we just went on the pull all the time. We became experts at chatting up women. Honestly, it became easy to pull.

We are just average looking bloke, nothing spectacular.

Also, we're extremely confident. Women love confidence. Ever notice the arrogant *****rs always have girlfriends?

Sleepy

Oh I can pull JV, it's just not so much my thing any more... My problem is that it's just hard to meet people in Dublin full stop, especially in the place I'm working... And when you're not meeting people, you don't meet women. When you don't meet women outside of nightclubs, you don't find girlfriends!

planck2

I think you may have a point there. Saturday night material is usually never girlfriend material

begbie

Originally posted by Johnny Versace

My point is. Be non-sexual with a girl who you do not fancy, become her friend, and women will follow. At this moment in time, I hang out with a very large group of girls, and I find it very easy to meet women. [/B]

Ah, i see. Now all i've got to do is make some female friends.:dunno:

Altheus

I'd say charm and confidence will get you women, be as brazen as you'd sometime like them to be, not loud and obnoxious, but charmingly obnoxious.

Also, when it gets to nitty gritty, skip the bull**** chit chat about college, speed up conversation to things like "Do you want another drink?" and "Don't worry about the fizz, it's nothing." and "You'll be fine in the morning, you can stay out in my place"..........

LegacyUser

I love how some of you are slagging off this 'saturday night girl'. Well, what does that make you then? If said saturday night girl said something about your character I'm sure you'd waste no time in running home and posting up an angry rant.

Sleepy, you seem to only want to meet girls in a sexual manner, so I think it's best to try make some female friends first. Get some numbers of chicks in clubs and stuff - and DONT say that 'pulling' isn't your 'thing' any more...cause you're only 24 ffs.
Even if you don't like the girls you could invite them to a flic or for a coffee or something.

I know what you mean about Dublin getting colder, but then again thats what happens when you live in/near a big city like that. People automatically walk around with an aura of "don't look at me" cause they're so sick of being bothered by hobos and crazies and knacks. Just keep getting out there and keep trying - cause it's not *that* hard to make friends. If you're finding it impossible, then you're doing something wrong.

Sleepy

Originally posted by bannered dude
I love how some of you are slagging off this 'saturday night girl'.

They're grand for Saturday night but that's it, I'm sure they feel the same about me.

Sleepy, you seem to only want to meet girls in a sexual manner, so I think it's best to try make some female friends first. Get some numbers of chicks in clubs and stuff - and DONT say that 'pulling' isn't your 'thing' any more...cause you're only 24 ffs. Even if you don't like the girls you could invite them to a flic or for a coffee or something.

Couldn't be further from the truth. Sure I'm into pulling, I'm 23. But pulling (to me at least) implies a one night thing. Why would I want to go to a flick/for coffee with someone I don't like? For the chance of getting laid? Not my cup of tea, sorry.

I know what you mean about Dublin getting colder, but then again thats what happens when you live in/near a big city like that. People automatically walk around with an aura of "don't look at me" cause they're so sick of being bothered by hobos and crazies and knacks. Just keep getting out there and keep trying - cause it's not *that* hard to make friends. If you're finding it impossible, then you're doing something wrong.

If you don't get on with anyone you work with (or live with) well, where do you start making friends? On the street? In a pub? Enlighten me...

Lainey

maybe this was covered before but do you like soccer or gaa... usually fellas meet friends and drinking buddies that way..

Sleepy

like GAA but notoriously bad at any sport involving a ball due to a condition called astigmatism which means my vision is predominantly monocular.

yossarin

Sleepy, maybe I'm not seeing the point here but calling someone you just met a "gold digging whore" in a crowded bar is never going to win you any friends, even if she is the most money-grabbing-whore-that-was-ever-on -the-lookout-for-a-rich-man-with-a-weak-heart.

couldn't you have just dodged the question and then not talked to her again if she turned out to be really annoying? The point I'm belabouring is that all her friends and anyone who saw your performance is probably now closed to you, just 'cos you're not willing to make an effort to see what might have been interesting about her.

Sleepy

Wouldn't want to know anyone that associated themselves with a spanner like that tbh.

I said it in the hope that she'd understand she was being an insufferable bitch and that behaviour like that shouldn't be accepted by anyone. In fairness, I lost my temper at her as well, because I've had it up to my neck with women that think they have a right to say and do whatever the **** they like because as women they won't get hit for it...

LegacyUser

Too right Sleepy. If you want to say something to a girl then say it.

BUT, I don't think you're reading me about the saturday night girl. You dont think these people have lives outside of saturday nights? There's no harm in inviting them out again - I mean it's not like you ever have to see them again if you dont want to.

That's not the only way of making friends though. If you cant play sports like football etc then why not join some sort of book club or movie club if thats what you're into. Or else you could take a class you'd like to do - it could be anything.

You should look at any sort of social interaction as an opportunity to make some friends, so just go out there and be friendly.

yossarin

Wouldn't want to know anyone that associated themselves with a spanner like that tbh.

fair enough , you have to be choosey about your friends i suppose.

I'm surprised it hasn't been suggested before but you could go to the next beers. You could ask about pear tree in person there (I don't know either)

Ryvita

You said it yourself at the beginning ... join a class. Or maybe even get a new job?

It's really hard to meet people in pubs. I'd usually chat to anyone but whether or not after one night in a pub I'd want to meet them again ... not likely.

You need to meet people repeatedly ... if you know what I mean.

Sleepy

Join a club that I've looked into but there's not much arround where I live that I'm interested in (and those I am, I can't afford). That's why I started posting on here so much. I'll definitely be at the next boards. From the looks of it, we're holding it a pub I suggested so it'd be pretty bad of me not too!

A new job ain't an option Ryvita, I'm only in this one ten months so it wouldn't look too hot on the CV or do the career prospects any good...

Ryvita

Tell me about it ... my job is wrecking my head but I've only been in it a few months. Bloody CVs.

Why don't you move out of where you are and move into a house with a load of people you don't know? Friends of mine did same and made a load of friends.

Sleepy

That's what I did this time, moved in with a gang I didn't know. Didn't go so well tbh, almost afraid of doing it again!

Unpossible

almost afraid of doing it again

why could it be much worse than now? It sounds like you don't get on well with those people at all (just how bad is it?), it doesn't sound like a healthy invironment in which to live