Some things are best left alone.

Blitzkrieger

Right. I'm only in the lab this morning to see if the lecturer says anything interesting, not to do any actual work, so prepare to be ranted at!

Everyone's seen the VW ad "Some things are best left alone". Well it's true. Any effort people make to customise their cars usually turns out looking pathetic and will ultimatly make them look like a w4nker.

Apart from the awful "ralley style" body kits that only seem to be on cars at least fifteen years old and are a complete waste of effort, one of the worst examples I've seem was a Escort. Now it had a big ****-off chrome exhaust, big rear spoiler, air intakes on the front and Cosworth written on it. But that was the problem Cosworth was written on it. It wasn't a Cosworth badge. This w4nker thought he could fool people into thinking a 1.6 (just visible through the bad paint job) Escort was a Cozzie. It didn't even sound the business (he had removed the muffler to make the engine louder or something), the air intakes were the wrong shape and the exhaust was just laughable.

Then of course there's the man with the red Jeep Wrangler. Know the Wrangler? It's the original Jeep and before it went out of production it was a big ****-off 4X4 to die for. Of course this guy had a license plate several years after they went out of production. Not only that but the thing was tiny. It was some sort of Suziki with Jeep Wrangler painted all over it - and I do mean all over it! The back, the sides, the bonnet (twice) and even a crappy gay WRANGLER on the front. How in the hell did he think he would fool anyone? Just the size of the ****ing thing would tell you it's not American!

This morning I say a Hyundai Coupe with a strange badge on it. I mean, driving the most unimaginativly titled car ever is bad enough but to put a Ferrari badge on it and not jump off a cliff in shame? W4nker. I saw another guy a few months ago in either a Fiat or Alpha Romero estate and guess what badge he had on it? Harry Enfield anyone? "It's a Ferrari estate!"

Possibly the biggest w4nker of them all though is the guy I call sad, sad Punto man. He's got a new model 3-door red Punto - the standard model, not even a sporting - with a custom paint job. Anybody familiar with the Dodge Viper GTSR? It's got two big white stripes running down the center of the car and looks like it's eat you whole. This guy's Punto is kinda like that. He's got two narrow white stripes running down the car off-center so it looks like some kid is going to pick it up and play with it. The reason the stipes are so far appart? So he can have a Nike tick in the middle of the bonnet. Presumably it's a subtle thing for the ladies (Just do it!). To top it all off he's got tinted windows. At last, you say, a sensible move so that he won't be embarressed to be seen driving it. But no, you can actually still see into the car and see the short-**** little w4nker driving it!

For some reason people say guys with big cars have small penises but I reckon these guys' are microscopic

Keeks

Ford Escorst had Cosworth Engines. Cosworth was an engine manufactuer that supplied engines to Ford and later bought out by ford.

[PS]SéaN

hey, i so hear ya. We got our fair share of boy racers in maynooth. That fiat punto your talking bout. I think i've actually seen it, tho i didnt see any nike tick, but it did have the notable dodge paint job and also had this **** big spoiler on the back just above the boot door. It looked like a
fu(kin shopping trolley with go faster stripes. On the badge thing, I love sports cars, in particular, the BMW M series range and it really gets on my goat when i see some knobend with the 3 series badge on one side of the boot, ie 316,318,320 etc and
fu(king m3 or worse still, m5 written on the other side. I mean WTF??

Coyote

lol
there is a mx5 wiht the same paint job
the purple wiht the white lines yes sure i'm going to mistake a maza mx5 for a vipper lol.

the best one i have ever see is.
you know them things you put on your wipers
to push them down on your windscreen more,
(there like a small spoiler for your wipper)
this gimp had two on the frount fine.
but then he had one on the back window,
like what the hell, it's pulling the wipper
off the window, talk about a thick gimp or
what. he had no clue how air works lol

there are some gimps out there.

Coyote

azezil

lol i seen a ford escort goin around with a dodge viper paint job LOL ****in looser! could ya imagine if a real viper pulled up beside it....it'd probably fall apart! LMAO

oh n that 'thing' goin a round abbeyleix, a ****in swift with a spoiler n mufler!! i nearly crashed when i seen it...a ****in spoiler on a swift WHAT MANNER OF SH!TE IS THAT!!!

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"just because ur not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after u!"

TwoShedsJackson

OMG a Punto with a Dodge Viper paint job - I just spewed coke on the monitor.