i cant stop lying

LegacyUser

i dont know whats wrong with me, this is so embarrasing, im 20, in college, i started a new course in sep and decided that it wud be a new start.

i cannot stop lying to people. i dont know if its attention i want or what, its like i dont want anyone to know the real me or something. my lies are getting more serious and more serious. i cant really elaborate, but they're getting bad. each lie is always linked onto another lie and im in a big web of deciet now. the two ive told, they started small, like as an excuse for arriving late. or something. then it escalates.

how will anyone be close to me or trust me? the lies i tell are all about myself, my past, i make myself out to be a victim of circumstances. its ridiculous and i hate myself for it so much. i just want people to like me for being me but now its impossible.

now ive met someone really nice that im really interested in, but the whole relationship is covered with lies. i want to be honest but the more i think about how crappy ive been the more i need other peoples attention/sympathy to give me confidence. its like a viscious circle.

im really in a state. its like an addiction. its not like im lying every single minute, just about a few very big things, there are really only two lies im living, but they're big ones. ive lied about a past relationship to make myself seem more interesting. ive
lied about domestic violence. ive suffered from depression and now i think im slipping back into it. im not close enough to these people to come clean about it.

please dont be judgemental. i have had a lot of **** in my life, which i dont talk about, but for some reason, im inventing more.

what is wrong with me? there's white lies and then theres major lies like the two ive told. please help me.

so much for thinking i was making a fresh start.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by liar
i dont know if its attention i want or what, its like i dont want anyone to know the real me or something

that's how I would see it too
do you think that no one will like the real you? and why not?

now ive met someone really nice that im really interested in, but the whole relationship is covered with lies

can you talk to them? can you sit them down and tell them what you've just said here?

ive lied about domestic violence

why would you do that if it's not true? do you think that you may benefit from seeing a college councillor? I would suggest it if you are having trouble coping, they may also have some comments which could help to explain why you need to lie all the time.
for what it's worth
it sounds to me like you suffer from low self esteem, you want people to like you, you don't think they will as you are so you invent stuff to make yourself look more interesting. I'm no professional when it comes to this but I believe it would be no harm for you to see one.

MarkR

I knew a guy like that, real walter mitty type. You name it he did it. Don't want to go into it more in case he reads this, but we're talking black helicopters, covert operations, world championship events, injuries overcome etc. Quite entertaining once you take it with a pinch of salt. :-)

As for your own case, think before you speak. The lies probably just pop out on the spur of the moment.

ykt0di9url7bc3

Just keep your mouth shut...if you have nothing interesting to say..and you have to lie...why not just keep quiet about things

and if people ask...give the minimal details... most conversation is about crap like weathar and politcs....

fitz

I'd like to believe you have a problem, but....:p

Go see the college counsellor, they can be very helpful and discreet.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by liar


please dont be judgemental. i have had a lot of **** in my life, which i dont talk about, but for some reason, im inventing more.

I actually think you're lying here! Are you?
You don't want people to be judgmental so you throw in the "I've had a lot of shít in my life" piece to get our pity?

If I'm wrong. Sorry. Go see a psychologist.

Catsmokinpot

i knew this dude who told us he had this italian girlfriend whos dad owned a television network and he had links to the russian mafia who could have people killed and his girlfriend was in a carcrash and he had to rush off to spain where she was....... i saw him that very next day as i was driving to dublin through enniscorthy where he lived, he didnt look like he was off to catch a plane because he was working in a shop at the time........:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

lies get you nowhere, lies are stupid, people who use lies should stop because obviously they have never read the boy who cried wolf, its a lady bird childrens book that can be picked up in most bookshops for about a fiver. sorry for being sarcastic but youve got to learn

you dont have to lie, if you feel you have a problem go to a councellor if you want that relationship to keep going just sit them down and tell them the truth before it all gets out of hand and your skrewed, once trust is gone there is no real point in carrying on with a relationship and trust will morethan likely be gone especially lying about domestic violence...

Victor

If you lies have ever hurt others, you have to make that right.

Teddi

hey liar...

I know exactly how you are feeling......people tell lies all the time...whether we realise it or not.......whether lieing about kissing 2 girls ina nite club when you only kissed one or saying that you can bench press 160kg when you can only bench 70kg....alot of people do it instinctivly or automatically.....i know i used to in secondary school.....and for your reasons too.....to make yourself sound more interesting!!!!........if you have to lie all the time you have some major insecuritys......maybe its the s h i t going on in your life...i dunno......but what i do know is that you HAVE to stop it.....i used to lie to make myself look better.....because i thought what people saw of me wasnt enough......not being able to compete with the big boys ya know?.......you musnt be hanging around with teh rite type of people dude........because if you were they would be able to accept you for who you are...only if you let them!!!..........i lied to a girl before....we had known each other for a few months and we really got on like a house on fire!!!.....she told me everything as i did.......she felt that honesty was a huge part in a relationship and i ****ed up by telling a lie....and only coming clean a few months later......that was a serious wake up call for me....we dont talk anymore!....my fault....and ive learn't from my mistake ........time to turn over a new leaf before your friends start dropping like flies....because believe me man...they will!!.........coming clean is the worst......but u'll feel much better after.....its just a matter of stepping up to it.............i hope uve took my advice....if not good luck mate

tuxy

why did u pick yakko as your advatar clearly dot would have been more appropriate

Teddi

oh....yea....hehehehe........FUNNY BOY! :mad:

Kold

Well I think that you've taken the first step in admitting that you have a problem. This can be conquered with understanding. The fact is you don't know the real you and you need to embrace it. Just try meeting some new people. Make sure you don't lie to them keep reminding yourself not to, however just don't mention this problem. You're right. Noone will trust you if you tell them about it. Don't worry about them thinking you're dull, if they do, just don't go out with them again. Easy as that. You may find yourself more likable than you think. I mean when you're with your friends do you find yourself wanting to know them or constantly wanting to impress them?

As for these people who try and make themselves the victim of circumstance, I know a lot. It's a very annoying trait. I mean, EVERYONE has baggage but some people whine and some people just get on with their life.

My advice to everyone in the world is that "Live your life for you. Find happiness where you can. Don't worry about what other people think of you and the way you live your life. Everyone finds their own meaning in life and a large part of it is getting to know yourself. Life is too short to worry about getting hurt and ****. If something isn't working, discard it and move on."

You know that lying is a problem. Stop.

Conorisco

Okay i've been in the same situation as you, well no, i've been in the situation where i was your boyfriend so to speak. I was lied to for awhole relationship which was off/on for a year.
I have no sympahty for you because i know how ****ing horrible it is to be lied to constantly for no reason, for attention? pity? to look cool? becuse you feel unworthy? All i can really say is just stop don't lie again not even to curb up those loose strings.
Everytime you lie, he knows everytime, everyone knows. The only reason that they/he doesn't say anything is because they don't want to feel your embarressment when they confront you. But you're going to be confronted eventually. what are you going to say? I'm sorry for being harsh but its the only way you have to just stop. Totally.
In my experience i was totally ****ed up and played, she lied to me about crappy little things that made no sense, which there was no reason for and i knew it was all lies. And also about major things things that she said she had done but never did, and it was all so ****ing stupid as she was caught out all the time. Even lthe last thi ngs she told me her big 'secret' was prob a lie too. So i just stopped talking to her altogether.
don't become that

Faust

I'm pretty sure people probably know you're lying and refer to you as "that guy who lies all the time". Its not that they don't know you lie, its that they wont tell you. So, you might as well not lie because no one is believing you anyway, Wasn't there some kind of parable involving sheep and a wolf.... I think they made some kind of half wolf/sheep baby thing..and the lesson was to never genetically splice the dna of a wolf and a sheep because they would be a literal wolf in sheeps clothing and you'd be like " oh look a sheep" and then it would eat you and you'd be like "ahhh i'm being eatan by this half sheep wolf dealy!!!".

mmm long sentence (take that joyce!!!)

qwertyphobia

Follow people advice all ready given go to the college counsellor

And get out of the mindset that you are in at the moment calling the thread "i can't stop lying" the answer to that is yes you can

qwertyphobia

follow the advice you where given by others go see a counsellor

you are stuck in an unhelpful mindset at the moment the title of the thread says it all really "i can't stop lying"

YES you can

Capt'n Midnight

Have you considered a career in politics, marketing, PR , telesales or becoming an estate agent ?

Once you get a name for lies you will find it very hard to get back. Aesop had a fable about that a long time ago, times haven't changed.

You could do some amatuer drametic classes or something so you could claim that you are acting and that you were practising lies - ye see the problem with lying is you have to remember it all or else you will get screwed with the contradictions.
(Faking Larengytis is not the way to go.)

Anyway the first day of the rest of your life starts now - how about getting a sin box and putting some money in each time you lie as a concious act to remind yourself ?