Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Understanding your own brain

  • 06-03-2004 9:17pm
    #1
    spectacleinrock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭


    Ive been going out with someone for over two years now.I love this person but recently something has changed. I dont understand what - just all of a sudden the small tiny things that used to bother me have joined together to become one giant thing. Its almost that i can’t stand to be around him anymore. Everything he does infuriates me. There was no real trigger for it - it was literally one of those overnight things... Thing is i dont know what to do. He’s really depressed at the moment so everytime ive tried to approach the subject it hasn’t gone very well. I cant figure out if i want this anymore.....


Comments

  • #2
    Banjo013
    Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭Banjo013


    Take a break for a while, maybe just a few weeks. If he can't agree to that then just do it for yourself.

    It should help clear out all the garbage from your head and allow you to decide whether you're better off with or without him.

    And why is he depressed ? Is he feeling the same way ?

    Maybe you've changed in some way. It wouldn't be the first time someone woke up one morning and due to no outside influences, they way you look on life has changed.

    People develop and evolve on a daily basis. Maybe he is evolving in a different way to you.

    Finally don't forget that you may have just realised you don't want to be with him any more ... and that happens every day too !


  • #3
    red_ice
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,946 ✭✭✭red_ice


    ride it out. it gets better, im at the 3 year mark and at one stage i was wondering am i missing out on meeting new ladies - i just realised theres no point in looking for something you already have.

    Never the less, it may be a lil different in your case - try going/doing something new, like go-carting or something that takes your mind off the subject of him, but do it with him so that its something you can do together.


  • #4
    Duffman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,248 ✭✭✭Duffman


    There are chemicals in your brain that make you fall for someone short-term... They can wear off suddenly, after months, sometimes years... That's why some ppl think it's best to be together for many years before marriage.. you can wake up one morning and hate everything about your partner... :dunno:

    Maybe that's what's going on... try to ignore those feelings and examine the emotions you still feel for him..


  • #5
    Wolfie
    Site Banned Posts: 197 ✭✭Wolfie


    Originally posted by Duffman
    There are chemicals in your brain that make you fall for someone short-term... They can wear off suddenly, after months, sometimes years... That's why some ppl think it's best to be together for many years before marriage.. you can wake up one morning and hate everything about your partner... :dunno:

    Maybe that's what's going on... try to ignore those feelings and examine the emotions you still feel for him..

    Yes, these chemicals are called PEA (phenylethylamine), and promote endorphins and chemicals in the brain to cause the neurological condition known as love, in order to promote procreation. After 2-5 years the PEAs wear off (the law of diminishing returns states that we basically become immune to the effects of the chemical after a certain period of time). THen we are no longer 'in-love'. But when this happens other chemicals which promote attachment are released, so you may stay with your mate because of that. From an evolutionary sense, it makes sense that the man only stays around long enough to raise an infant, then its on to the next female to spread those genes. :)


Advertisement