Would like your opinion

Fair Enough

Tell me wha yiz tink!

The strongest flower I know!

Trying to find the words to describe our feelings - there are none.
The dull ache and endless heartbreak never goes away.

Imagine planting a seed:
nurturing it everyday, watching in anticipation, waiting for it to bloom.
watching the delicate bud form into the most precious of things.
Everything so perfect - its colour, its strength, its smell.

Then,
imagine picking that flower.
The despair of watching what you fought so hard for day by day,
wilt slightly and eventually die.

But Angel.
The most precious flower there ever was - was you.
You fought so hard to stay and in the time you were here,
you wrapped us in the warmest love.
you shared all you had to share.

Then,
like a tiny flower,
you closed your tiny petals,
and floated off to sleep.

You sit on our shoulders,
protecting us everyday,
but we wish we could change all that,
and have you here to stay.

All the stars, and all the rays of sun cannot brighten our hearts this day.
The pain of losing you is too strong.
But then you sent us this miracle to make us smile again,
but you are never forgotten,
and never far away.

Know how much we love you,
and miss you everyday.
Know you are forever in our hearts and dreams,
and forever in our love.

CuLT

Brilliant, beautiful - bravo.

An excellent piece.

Suaimhneach

I thought that was lovely.

BEAT

Well, I have mixed feelings on this. I will say that it isnt my cup of tea, but that doesnt mean it isnt good.
I would venture so far as to say it was "nice" but that I dont think it was ready for publication.

Silent Grape

Beat, are u a writer/poet or summat (no angry tones intended) u just seem to be more critical that everyone else, which is good,actually.

Fair Enough

i never tought of gettin it published. its close to my heart and wouldnt change it. i wrote it at a very emotional time in my life. people tell me im good at writin this stuff so i jus wanted some unbiased opinions. i like criticism. cheers guys.:)

ShriekingSheet

very cool

check out a song on Bell X1's new album called 'in every sunflower'

jabberwock

very nice. i really liked it. don't give up so easy!;)

goo

I would be so afraid to criticise that.

You certainly wear your heart on your sleeve.

ravenhead

Moving - You're Angel must have been a very special person

Fair Enough

Thank you!:)
She still is. Gone but not forgotten and forever in my heart.

ravenhead

Have you any other peoms etc written > You have a real talent.....

Fair Enough

I have loads. A lot of them need some work though. Thank you!!

Silent Grape

i think its cool cus its obviously very personal to you, without being really obvious, which is nice. but its a bit long and meandering and long winded for my taste, but thats just cus i like poems short and to the point, like injections of emotion, more dramatic. but i do like urs cus u get a real feeling of peace and love about whoever this 'angel' is.

Fair Enough

Waiting for that day to come,
When God will take you to his home,
I pray your death is a painless one,
Though your short-lived life was not,
I have few memories that I’ll never forget,
Sweet little Angel, but why must you leave?

I’ll cry many tears as you pass on,
But I’ll smile many smiles knowing your safe,
Wherever you go, I hope you’ll be happy,
But you are loved so much here, so
Why must you leave?
Who will take care of you?
You’re less than two weeks old,

Why must you leave us?
Why?





This one might change your opinion about me having talent. The child i wrote these two poems for only lived for eleven days. I wrote this one the day I found out she was dying. It's not great but it's another one i won't ever be changing.