Pissed Off Female.

Atreides

God Damn women.

Right I'm Quiet close to a female friend in college. Now we hit it off right from the word go, and despite the fact she is a beautiful woman I've never felt anything for her besides friend ship. Thing is though last week we all went out together (colleges friends) and she was in abit of a pissed off mood, mainly because the guy she liked for quiet awhile was with another female and she was envious of her. How myself, like the fool I am, tried to cheer my friend up, but it all back fired terrible and she got quiet nasty, after I called her on a few things. I think she took the fact that I would do anything for a friend as meaning I'd do anything for her, cause I was attracted to her. Things have been awkward between us since, particularly because I think people have been winding her up about it. I don't know where the awkwardness is coming from, weather its that she thinks I'm attracted to her, (I know one asshole has said this to her), or weather she knows I'm not, and despite the fact that she isn't toward me either still feels rejected? Just seems to me that If it is other people saying things then its a shame we can't be friends.

Peace

We do not negotiate with terrorists...

Sit her down and have a "chat"....its awkward but just jump in...the air will be cleared and you should hopefully end up friends.

bus77

Shake her hand.

][cEMAN**

Walk into this minefield at your own risk my son....all I know is i've never had a good experience in this situation. You like her you lose, you don't like her she feels rejected (as you say even though she doesn't seem she's interested in you) and both ways you lose.

Your only recourse is to skin that guy who was saying these things

Doodee

Originally posted by Skanger
God Damn women.

Thing is though last week we all went out together (colleges friends) and she was in abit of a pissed off mood, mainly because the guy she liked for quiet awhile was with another female and she was envious of her. How myself, like the fool I am, tried to cheer my friend up, but it all back fired terrible and she got quiet nasty, after I called her on a few things. I think she took the fact that I would do anything for a friend as meaning I'd do anything for her, cause I was attracted to her.

Heh, this has happened to me a few times. They have mistaken Being good natured for being attracted to them.
Best thing to do is just let it cool off. If its still weird after a few more weeks just talk to the girl in private, and explain. but then again, she may just think ur lying and are just more attracted to her

Banjo013

Found myself in a very similar situation last year, and far as I'm aware there's no way out of this one ... if a woman gets it into her head that you are attracted to her, then in her head it will stay forever - no matter what you do or say, regardless of the fact that it's simply untrue.

Thing is, I think that once that idea gets into her head, she'll never want to think anything else, regardless of whether or not she is interested in you. I've kinda figured that this is because she doesn't want to think she couldn't attract any man she wants, which may mean that by her own standards, she has failed to attract someone. She wants you to be attracted to her, but doesn't intend to do anything about it. It's nothing more than an ego booster for her.

That's my experience .... let the backlash commence !

Auburn

Originally posted by Banjo013
... she doesn't want to think she couldn't attract any man she wants, which may mean that by her own standards, she has failed to attract someone. She wants you to be attracted to her, but doesn't intend to do anything about it. It's nothing more than an ego booster for her.

Something like that. Imo:
1) She felt crap because the feelings she had for the guy she liked were unrequited. This damaged her confidence.
2) To ad insult to injury, someone "safe" she thought would definitely fancy her, doesn't actually fancy her. This one is hard to explain and is mostly to do with her ego. She may not be used to being knocked back. Also, she is probably feeling confused about whether you were just being her friend because you fancied her (due to the rumours she has heard).

Anyways, she sounds a bit immature (about men). It sounds like she had a major crush on that guy and as we all know, crushes can hurt. Just have a quiet word with her (over coffee or something), say you've heard some rumours are going around and you want to straighten things out. Tell her that you wouldn't want a relationship with her because you wouldn't want to risk ruining the friendship (or words to that effect). Don't worry - once things are straightened out in her head, you'll be back to being friends and will probably look back on this and laugh about it.

lordsippa

I find bravado sometimes works. Take her hand and give it a kiss and then tell her you're sorry for whatever it is she's angry at you for but because you're a guy you'll never be able to work out why she's annoyed. If you put some playful drama into it you might hopefully jump back into the friends category and hopefully you'll pull it off right so she doesn't think you're really into her. A cheeky smile helps...

That or you could talk to her about it, but I warn you, if she goes on the defensive give up. Or you'll end up not only losing a friend but getting an enemy. So sit back and take whatever shít she gives you with an apology and wait till she's said her piece before you start with the "buts"...

Ach, it's too late for me to be giving sensible advice.

jerenaugrim

Sounds to me like u're attracted to her, but don't fully realise it...and that she realised some feelings for u when u were nice to her.

HarryD

Happened to me too ..
Some asshole told this girls sister I was after her..
I lost a great friend as a result..
uuughhh... annoying

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by jerenaugrim
Sounds to me like u're attracted to her, but don't fully realise it...and that she realised some feelings for u when u were nice to her.

Spot on!!! Stop deluding yourself... you ARE attracted to her.
There's 2 situations here;

1) You fancy the arsé off her and she's sound, but you know she won't go for you so are her "good friend"
2) She's really sound, but the's a minger, therefore you really don't fancy her.

That's what I reckon.

Or. In the highly unlikely event that you are just her friend and want to be just her friend. Go tell her to snap the fúck out of it and stop acting like a child.

Atreides

Thing is she tried to talk to me about it the day after, but really didn't go about it the right way, so I walked off on her again. I got the feeling she thought of me as a little puppy on a chain to be lead around, which pissed myself off no end, and I thought it best to leave at that stage. I don't think I'm attracted to her, for the simple reason that I wouldn't feel as hurt by it all if all of thought of her was as a long term shag.

secret_squirrel

...but you might feel this hurt if there was a little bit of you in love with her perhaps??

Having said that it really does hurt when you feel like you've been let down by a friend.....

Sangre

Pffffft, it's over, she has ruined the friendship by acting this way just because she thought you fancied her, which not only shows arroganace but a big ego.

Basically if she was sound and a good friend she would have never acted this way in the first place. Dont treat her any differently, but don't ever expect to be the same, at least for a while anyway. Unless I've misjudged her from your posts.

jerenaugrim

Originally posted by Skanger
Thing is she tried to talk to me about it the day after, but really didn't go about it the right way, so I walked off on her again. I got the feeling she thought of me as a little puppy on a chain to be lead around, which pissed myself off no end, and I thought it best to leave at that stage. I don't think I'm attracted to her, for the simple reason that I wouldn't feel as hurt by it all if all of thought of her was as a long term shag.

Ya, the friendship's over, for both of ye. Best of luck with the mad passionate shagging that's going to happen once ye stop deluding yerselves.
Let us know how THAT goes.

Atreides

Originally posted by Sangre
Pffffft, it's over, she has ruined the friendship by acting this way just because she thought you fancied her, which not only shows arroganace but a big ego.

Basically if she was sound and a good friend she would have never acted this way in the first place. Dont treat her any differently, but don't ever expect to be the same, at least for a while anyway. Unless I've misjudged her from your posts.

I think Thats actually pretty bang on. I do think she has a huge ego, it was my first impression and one of the reasons I was never attracted to her. Its like the Guy she was interested in was also mad into her, but to afraid of being made a fool of to make a play, so nothing came of it, now he is with someone else who has a far more attractive personality.

124124

Oh, thank you all - I thought I was the only me !!!

– I am not that attractive or anything (actually I am quite the opposite to be honest), however I have this American girl whom I met in the net eating my brains out these days. She came over here for a week around Christmas and well, I was being myself, friendly and nice, and err.. stuff happened (because she initiated, I must add). But she was not quite my type - loud, sort of control-freak..ish and all -- not my type in short, anyway, now she thinks I am lying to her, I am trying to avoid her and what not…all I am trying to do is just cool it off...

Good to know this is not as much as my fault as I thought!

Atreides

fairness mate you did sleep/kiss/whatever, her, to make he think you might have some kinda think. Exactly what I'm thinking myself, a relationship with woman is the only outcome have any attraction towards her is likely to bring, and theres no may in hell I want that. She is a control freak, its one of the reasons we had the arguement, she was trying to control me and came straight out and told me she had me whipped(her actual words), at which point I go up and walked away.

Hobbes

When a woman tells you her problems, she isn't looking for a solution from you.

trurl

Give her a tenner, and start to take your trousers off. You'll never hav to talk to her again.

Trurl

jerenaugrim

Originally posted by Hobbes
When a woman tells you her problems, she isn't looking for a solution from you.

That's true.