Jokes from germany

the Guru

JOKES FROM GERMANY


Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

---

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

---

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

---

What do you call a cat with no tail?

A manx cat.

---

Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

---

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

---

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

---

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men

coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

---

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

---

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?

Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

Verdammt

Sehr gut

hedgetrimmer

Posted before as anti-humour or unfunny jokes, me thinks. Slightly more amusing with this heading though.

Mossy Monk

the germans are hillarious

aidan_walsh

Jemand hörte "The Full Irish" heute morgen...

dudara

I know that I've seen these before, but I still think that they're great. Especially the cow one

rocco

brilliant they get better everytime I see them

quarryman

brilliant. never seen em before, but pure class. rofl :>

quank

ive always known them as "Unjokes"

lol
theyre the best kind of jokes too

Capt'n Midnight

Originally posted by the Guru
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?

Beacuse the parrots eat them all.

Pugsley

rofl, excellent

ps: die capt midnight, plz, die

Senor_Fudge

ah yeah ah yeah

UnrealQueen

I've no understanding of how anyone can laugh at these "jokes", especially the suicide one.:ninja:

bozzie

rofls`1
every one a keeper

smoke.me.a.kipper

brilliant.

stereo_steve

Das was einfach klasse!! Ich liebe deusch lender!

KoNiT

pretty good

Tyrrial

Originally posted by the Guru
JOKES FROM GERMANY

---

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men

coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

---

great!!!!!!!!!:D

chamon_mofo

thats some efficient german humour

Agent7249

Oh god, I've neverhad jokes literally kill me inside, jaysus, they're terrible.

ferdi

na, diese witzen warren ja prima, ich habe fast meine hosen ein gepissen!!!