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Klingon programmers

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  • 23-02-2004 12:36pm
    #1
    mr_angry
    Registered Users Posts: 3,312 ✭✭✭


    Found this on Lockergnome this morning. Hilarious!

    Klingon Software Quality Assurance

    From Mathew Nolton Blog:

    The top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had Klingon programmers working for you:
      Specifications are for the weak and timid!! This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code. You cannot really apprecaite Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon. Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull! What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake! Klingon function calls do not have “parameters” - they have “arguments”- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak. I have challenged the entire Quality Assurance team to a Bat-Leh contest! They will not concern us again. A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code. By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die! You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand! Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!


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    #2
    Hobbes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    http://www.geocities.com/connorbd/varaq/


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    #3
    mr_angry
    Registered Users Posts: 3,312 ✭✭✭mr_angry


    Wow. I've been well and truely out-geeked on that one. Scary.


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    #4
    girldef
    Registered Users Posts: 124 ✭✭girldef


    Originally posted by mr_angry
    Wow. I've been well and truely out-geeked on that one. Scary.

    scary is right...my god...speechless...


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    #5
    Raskolnikov
    Registered Users Posts: 10,148 ✭✭✭✭Raskolnikov


    Originally posted by mr_angry
    Wow. I've been well and truely out-geeked on that one. Scary.

    :D

    That was shocking and yet another reason who some of these Star Trek fanboys need to commited!


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    #6
    aidan_walsh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,208 ✭✭✭✭aidan_walsh


    http://shakespearelang.sourceforge.net/

    More obscure than Brainfu*k...


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    #7
    Hobbes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    OMG you win.


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    #8
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    And just in today, tlhIngan Hol (the language known as "Klingon" in English) has been given the ISO 639 alpha-3 identifier "tlh". It has not been given an alpha-2 identifier.

    This means the RFC 3066 code "i-klingon" will soon be deprecated, and "tlh" should be used instead.


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