Dating Websites: Recommend any?

LegacyUser

I'm a bit lonely this Valentines night, and, as I've never had a relationship or any luck with the opposite sex, I want to branch out into the open.

I'm male, 26, and never really confident around women at all. I'm fine in work situations, but as for chating to women in a social context, this guy has scored a huge zero, and yes I'm still a virgin. Also, I don't drink or smoke, so meeting women within the social norms of pubs or clubs is rare, if not non-existant. I've always been a bit self consious, I'm fairly overweight, but I'm over the worst on that score. So with confidence building in that direction, I'd like to meet some like minded people, but I dunno where to start. If someone suggests take a new hobby or interests as a method of meeting women, I dont want to, as these invariably get me into situations that I can't deal with or get embarrased with, I become a fumbling arse.

Is there any (Irish) websites that cater for this type of relationship? Someone with as much experience as me, but isnt that courageous, if you know what I mean!?

Thanks for reading this,

Val.

(PS. I'm surprised there is no list for dating websites here)

Reyman

I'm not too well up on this area but there seems to be a very busy website promoted by Esat called ---- www.rsvp.ie

---

can't speak for the quality of the clients though, you'll have to find that out yourself!

As a general rule there seems to be about a 3:1 male female ratio on these web sites from what I read, so you will have to "compete" heavily, till more gals catch on and start using the web!

Sarky

www.christiancafe.com

Meet a nice Christian girl who you'll have to marry before kissing.

You have to pay, but going by the testimonials it's surely worth it...

Emboss

maybe friends?

maybefriends.ie or something

they advertise on fm 104 so well IT MUST BE GREAT

never used it tho








































honest

Guy:Incognito

i just decided to go in and see what all these sites r about, have been hearing that bloody maybe friends add for ages. They let u sign up and register details and a profile, and people can see ur profile and u theres. But the only catch is, to be able to actually contact them or vice versa u have to be a payed up member (sumting like €13 a month.

So its "free" as lon as all u want to do is LOOK for peopl w/o actually contacting them. Bit pointless so.

Winters

Is there not a rsvp.ie or something? I have seen it advertisted on the oceanfree and iol a couple of times?

emertoff

I had a look at anotherfriend.com as a non-premium member out of curiosity a while back and got bored after a week. The men:women ratio makes it very difficult for guys. I just find the whole internet dating thing a little unreal. The whole experience smells of desperation, and the worst thing is, everyone involved seems to realise it. Writing a profile about yourself and putting it online for complete strangers to read and make some quick-fire judgement on is pointless and demeaning.

If you can't meet anyone nice (you say you're not into pubs and clubs), then why not try some "nice" places - the gym, library, coffee house, a night class, volunteering. There are always a few decent looking women at Mass every Sunday as well.:D

BrianD3

I'm in a fairly similar situation to the OP. I'm not a virgin but the only intimacy I had with women was many years ago and happened with a couple of extremely drunk and desperate women. TBH, any idiot could have scored with those women. The Elephant Man would have had a good chance with them.

I'm about the same age as the OP and have similar attitudes to drinking and pubs. Not into that scene at all.

then why not try some "nice" places - the gym, library, coffee house, a night class, volunteering.

Been there, done that. There are three major problems here:
a) the vast majority of women our age are already in relationships
b) the vast majority of women going to the gym, doing courses etc. are there because it's something they want to do NOT because they want to meet a potential partner there
c) many women only ever expect to be approached or chatted up in a pub/club setting. Try chatting them up outside this context and they can get very uncomfortable.

It's hard enough for a quiet guy to approach and talk to women - but when you consider the above points, it's even more difficult.

I don't know what the solution this is and have no info on dating agencies. However I'd just like to tell the OP that he is not alone, there are loads of guys out there who have little or no success with women.

BrianD3

valentino

Ok guys,

I'm not professing to know it all by any shape or measure but
here are my thoughts on your issues.

1.) Get confident stupid

One thing i've found is the most attractive thing a women
finds in a bloke is very high levels of confidence (without being cocky)

When you're confident you're able to approach women without fear of rejection also.

There are a few things you need to do improve your confidence

- Get in shape ( might sound superficial but then again this is a growing quality in
irish society these day)

- Get out shopping :
Not saying you have to wear really expensive clothes / labels but find a style that
suits you and that's smart.

- Talk at every opportunity
Talk to women every chance you get, at bus stops, in the supermarket checkout.
Start with girls who might not be amazing looking, find your comfort level, once you
feel comfortable chatting to the "5's" move up to the "6's/7's" etc.


<quote>
Been there, done that. There are three major problems here:
a) the vast majority of women our age are already in relationships
b) the vast majority of women going to the gym, doing courses etc. are there because it's something they want to do NOT because they want to meet a potential partner there
c) many women only ever expect to be approached or chatted up in a pub/club setting. Try chatting them up outside this context and they can get very uncomfortable.
</quote>

I have issues with these statements

a.) I think you'll find there are a large number of irish girls in their mid twenties without a partner.

b.) I agree that they go to the gym etc not to look for a partner but to keep in shape but this doesnt mean the're not *open to meeting someone if approached in the right way.

c.) I have to completely disagree with this, i'm not sure what clubs you go to but any clubs that i've been to (not just in ireland) - the lads are on the prowl , the girls will have their defences up from the minute they walk into the club. Many girls are all too aware that they are being sized up and "feasted on".

Sure they like to dress up but only the attention seekers dress up in that way a lot of them go out like that to "feel sexy" and have fun with their friends and are v. wary of drunken lads trying to chat them up in a club ( Ever noticed when you start talking to a girl in this environment she will either cut down the ammount she's drinking or stop drinking altogether).

I think anywhere outside a club/pub is a much better environment as girls dont have their "shields up" and are not worrying about getting approached 25 times in the space of a couple of hours, they're more relaxed and open to a bit of fun / flirting...

Never tried the dating sites myself but the other posters seem to be on the money.

I would just get myself out there, not be afraid to take up a hobby, and get talking to as many women as possible.

LegacyUser

Not that this really helps, but I am in a pretty similar situation though a few years younger. 18, don't drink or smoke and am definitely not into the pub/club scene. I keep hoping.

alienhead

why dont you try speed dating, its a good laugh, and at least you can see who you're talking to.

http://www.speeddatingireland.com

aodh_rua

Originally posted by Sarky
www.christiancafe.com

Meet a nice Christian girl who you'll have to marry before kissing.

You have to pay, but going by the testimonials it's surely worth it...

Had to look - seems a bit scary to me.

Reyman

That Christian cafe is something else!

Most of the girls seem to be 80-85 Kilos plus. I'm not sure what that is in stone but i'd say they'd give the Irish rugby team a good run for their money.

You need to be in the whole of your health to venture down that religious road!

deimos

The fat one on that site looks like a man, its scarey!!! and as far as I know, god don't allow that sorta thing

yellum

www.gaydar.ie
www.faceparty.com
www.face-pic.com