Bar maid

SpankyFart · 09-02-2004 11:57pm #1

A bloke goes into a pub and the barmaid asks what he wants.

"Waht to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he says

"You dirty git" shouts the barmaid "Get out before I get my husband"

So the bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.

"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off" he says.

"You dirty filthy pervert. Your banned. Get out" she storms.

Again, the bloke apologises and swears never to do it again. "One more chance" say the barmaid. "Now what do you want?"

"I want to turn you upside down, open your legs and fill your pussy with Stella Artois, and the drink every last drop from it".

The barmaid is furious at this personal intrustion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who is sitting quietly watching the telly.

"Whats up love" he asks.

"There is a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my tits and lick off the sweat" she says

"I'll kill him. Where is he?" storms the husband.

"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off" she screams

"Right he's dead" says the husband, reaching for his baseball bat.

"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my fanny with stella and then drink it all" she cries.

The husband puts down the bat and returns to his armchair and switches the telly back on.

"Aren't you going to do something about it" she cries hysterically.

"Look love - I'm not messing with someone who can drink 15 pints of stella".