Loneliness

LegacyUser

Started College in Oct and well just haven’t really integrated or made any news friends. I missed weeks (got in through a result upgrade). Tried the Socs but found them to be solely populated by exchange students speaking their own languages, amongst themselves. Find myself spending every evening on my own, … so much so that now it hardly bothers me anymore, given up waiting for a text message/phone call. That “not caring” worries me. Oh and Im not really the person who’d go to the pub out on their own. Love going home at the weekend and hanging around with the old crowd.. though the situation is hardly sustainable I know.

catspring

i know how you feel.
i was the exact same when i started college.
the only thing you can do is go up to someone you think you might like to talk to, and say hey, my names xxxx want to hook up for a cup of coffee/pint in the union sometime.
or if you're sitting waiting for a lecturer to come in just ask the person sitting beside if they like the course, where they're living, if they were out last night.
it took me til well into second year to actually have the balls to do it but it was a lot easier than i thought.
hope this helps a little
good luck!!

Havelock

I was the same, in school/college you have make an approach. You have shared interests with people in your college. Go joing those Socities, if they are un-accepatble just go to any of the college funtions, yes may need to go alone. But just introduce your self to soemone who you'd see around campus. Bye them a drink (always goes down well with the Irish, I've found). After that, um...Start your own socity. Just an idea.

Typedef

Aha.

Try being 24 and living on your own for the last 2 years, sans-female.

/hugs computer terminal.

sweet glow of cathode ray tube

vibe666

you really just have to start talking to people. anytime you're standing in a queue or sitting somewhere with other people, just say hi, talk about anything. the weather, the course, how long its taking to wait in the queue.

it doesn't matter if the other person talks back much or not, if they don't then move on and find someone else to say hi to.

it doesn't matter what you say, as long as you say something.

start talking and before you know it you'll wonder what all the fuss is about and why you didn't do this before.

JessieG

*poor type def...(hint : rare moment im being sincere...)

i'll hug ya!

no but i know what you mean i lived on my own at 20 in dublin in an UTTER KIP. think trainspotting. (I was too proud to ask my dad for help ...yeah yeah stupid in hindsight)
but the wierd thing was i loved the space but i HAD a group of friends i could call whenever i got that feelin.

Join one of the alternative society like drama, or film appreciation, or like in my college....."the soft grass jumping sociey- dedicated to the persuit for the perfect pint"
or the monty python appreciation society.

These kind are more welcoming and appreciative than most and they are generally all about good crack and a great night out. you mkae some great friends.

ykt0di9url7bc3

what college?...

i mean there has got to be boards.ie user in every campus... start there...

or in the WIT flag down the man with 2 red stripes thru his hair...he's supposed to be a little nuts

Dr Pepper

I had the same problem myself when I started college in DCU. It really affected my performance in class/exams aswell...
I'm normally a very sociable person and I have loads of friends (I swear ) but I just never 'clicked' there... So don't make the mistake of thinking there's something wrong with you..
Anyway, after 6 months I left and went to Blanchardstown IT and got on great with everyone and flew through the lectures/exams! Best moev I ever made..
I'm not suggesting that you do something as drastic as that tho. As people said, just start chatting to people from your class and go to outings.. You will soon find your place! Good luck..

Brian

JessieG

searrard you know as well as i do they are VIOLET lol j/k whatever they are they rock

p

Hey,

As other people said, try joining the others socs or clubs you haven't tried yet. Maybe you just tried the wrong ones? Just start chatting to people in your class before & after lectures, everyone usually hangs around for awhile. If you give it a good shot then i'm sure you'll make friends.

good luck

][cEMAN**

I've been living alone now since november....

where are my hugs?

But i'm OK because being the lazy person I am, I get my m8's to go out and bring women back for me when I throw parties n stuff hehe

KlodaX

*hypothetical hug for iceman*


hjuynajajaa - seriously.. what college are you in? get one boards person to introduce you to others... you are bound to find peeps that way ... the more you go out the more you'll meet people ...

Typedef

Originally posted by ][cEMAN**
I've been living alone now since november....

where are my hugs?

/licks fingers.

/belches

*grin*

Beruthiel

keep your sick fantasies to PMs beths
*shudder*

yellum

Originally posted by SearrarD

or in the WIT flag down the man with 2 red stripes thru his hair...he's supposed to be a little nuts

The raspberry ripple man lives !

Silent Grape

awwwwww iceman and typedef ur welcome to hug me instead of ur computers any time

anyway, yes, what everyone else said, my first yr in UCD sucked SO much, im in a different course now and loving it.. its hard work to keep urself happy but its worth it. dont become an invisible person. dramsoc in ucd is really good for making friends, they're all nuts. egt involved and keep urself busy doing collegy things., then the friends wil come naturally.\]

good luck, keep optimistic, u have so much opportunity on ur side, dont let any go to waste, keep strong cus u will get through this crappy time

xx

][cEMAN**

*hugs* *hugs*

Typedef

I was thinking more along the lines of ....




well sex really.


/shrug

Lump

I'd agree with what everyone else said. You come into contact with at least 100 people a day. That will know your face from college. We have someone on our course that, I would assume thinks the same as you.

However, we see him every day, he arrives 10 seconds before lectures start, leaves right when they finish. Very hard to be friends with him, maybe that's his choice.

Even if you sit in the canteen, there's bond to be some one there that you'll know, and they'll know you too. Say hi, it's polite for one thing. And you're sure to get talking. If you find the conversation is going well, suggest going on the lash some time.


Every one finds it hard starting out in uni, but if you leave it too long to make an effort, people will start to think you're wierd. Even if you don't like going to the pub alone, there are sure to be plenty of course/student nights out. Just go, you don't have to drink, just intergrate with fellow students.


John

Silent Grape

'I was thinking more along the lines of ....





well sex really'










...so was i. i thought id miss more than sex when i broke up with my ex........ however i dont.

LadyPenelope

Originally posted by Typedef

Try being 24 and living on your own for the last 2 years, sans-female.

Try being a little bit more than 24, with someone for eight years and being lonely there. Living on my own last two years, sans-bloke and still not as lonely as when I was with the bloke.

LadyPenelope

Point being that you can sometimes be lonely even when you have someone. I have spend last two years making new friends as best I can under my current circumstances. Sometimes some work out and other times they dont, but you dont know if you dont try.

So just go out there and talk to as many ppl as you can and eventually you will click with one or a few and it will take off from there.

Catsmokinpot

i was the same you just have to get up off your ass, go over to someone and speak to them. they can talk to you aswell you know. come out of that shell your in! cause you wont get anywhere if you dont venture out into the world

all you need to do is meet a nice male/female friend from somewhere across the country but go to the same college youll find that opens the door to about 8 or 9 new friends which will open into many more friends after that you wont be lonely for long

Typedef

Originally posted by Silent Grape
'I was thinking more along the lines of ....





well sex really'










...so was i. i thought id miss more than sex when i broke up with my ex........ however i dont.

SG... after 6 days of being broken up huh?


You know statistically SG/Penolope... men think about it once every 20 seconds.... but 'actually' end up geting it far less.

/thinks about baseball.

& striking moron with bat

LadyPenelope

Originally posted by Typedef

You know statistically SG/Penolope... men think about it once every 20 seconds.... but 'actually' end up geting it far less.

Every 20 seconds ... but get it far less. Thought it was about quality not quantity... Wonder what the statistic is for women thinking about sex.