Breaking up over the phone ?

LegacyUser · 05-02-2004 4:24pm #1

I'm in Germany, and my g/f is in Galway.
We often fight, and I don't think it's going anywhere. Recently we've been fighting over the phone. I've decided I want out, but can nver get the chance to do it.
Is it really bad to break up with someone over the phone ? We've been going out 17months now and we were quite close when I was at home.
I don't like the idea of doing it from here, as I'd like to be there to take the feedback and support her, but I guess that wouldn't happen either.
Any ideas ?

Thanks,

PD

angelofdeath · 05-02-2004 4:56pm

phone is not a good idea, but in your extenuating circumstance I don't really see any other option

DUX · 05-02-2004 5:01pm

Yes, it is really bad. Why don't you fly over for a weekend, talk to her and go back? She would definetly respect you much more if you leave her this way.....

angelofdeath · 05-02-2004 5:06pm

what, spend a few hundred quid to come back here for a slap in the face, nah as bad as it is the phone is your best option, hell at least its better than a letter or god forbid a text message

Lump · 05-02-2004 5:17pm

Do it over the phone. No point in flying all the way back to dump the girl. If I was her I'd think you were rubbing it in, and enjoying the whole thing.

John

The_Goose · 05-02-2004 6:44pm

Originally posted by Lump
Do it over the phone. No point in flying all the way back to dump the girl. If I was her I'd think you were rubbing it in, and enjoying the whole thing.

John

exactly she be thnking you only came back to tell so everyone else wouldn't be so hard on you!!!

got this message from girl once="Now entering dumbsville, population YOU"
my reply was = "Just exiting dumbsville, now entering your best friend!!!"

Phone her and be honest, tell here that ye are not right for each other, and would be best for both of you if ye ened the relationship!! Offer here the choice to tell everyone that she broke it off!! 1/ It will allow her to save face and 2/ if she does you'll know what kinda person she is!!!

good luck man!!

Cabaal · 05-02-2004 6:59pm

Face to face is best imho
a letter explaining things is ok

In a IM/MSN/ICQ msg just sucks ass
and in a txt message is even lower imho

so could be much worse when you think about it

Ronaldo7 · 05-02-2004 7:03pm

oh man, just do it over the phone.

dictatorcat · 05-02-2004 7:46pm

No, Meet her.
If you do it over the phone and you're still in germany then she'll have the first word to all your mutual friends and you will be the baddie when you get back.

Lex_Diamonds · 05-02-2004 7:55pm

Over the phone ffs. Meet her, that is a big ****ing waste of time.
Ideally do it over Ceefax personal ads, nothing sais I hate you like 4 inch high pixellated pink text.

uberwolf · 05-02-2004 8:04pm

nah I reckon 17 months warrants some respect. Even if it means waiting a while and just not talking as frequently. Not trying to say that the following has anything to do with your situ but my GF did the J1 thing this summer and there were times that if there hadn't been the promise of her returning and normality resuming it would have been over. Long term long distance doesn't work IMO, you get all the sh*t and none of the loving to counteract it. If you'll be back soon or in near future hold on. If not *shrug*

Victor · 05-02-2004 10:54pm

I reckon fly home and bring your new burd. That or e-mail (mentioning new burd).

DriftingRain · 06-02-2004 12:01am

nah I reckon 17 months warrants some respect.

That is my thoughts too. You obviously had feelings for her to have stayed together 17 months. I would suggest a long talk in person may make things better. Could be the arguments are somewhat innitated to get you to come back home to her. She probally just misses you, and feels pulled. Go home to end it...or talk it through and just explain that things are the way they are now, and she must get used to it!

Good Luck

~DR~

Ronaldo7 · 06-02-2004 1:46am

Get a microphone and shout it over the phone with your window open so the rest of Germany can hear you and her reaction.

Gordon · 06-02-2004 7:02am

Over the phone, not over the phone, over the phone, not over the phone. What a dilema.

What do you really want to do?

LegacyUser · 06-02-2004 7:45am

done and done :-(

It wasn't easy.... but kind of a mutual decision..
Not where did I put my pint

Dr. Loon · 06-02-2004 8:14am

Originally posted by uberwolf
Even if it means waiting a while and just not talking as frequently.

That's stupid advice. You're advising him to live in misery for another little while basically! He wants to break up with her, but because you reckon he should do it in person he has to stay celibate and try not to talk to her as much.... or are you suggesting he add cheating to his breakup reasons?

Just ring her and get it over with. Who gives a fúck what mutual friends think. You can sort them out when you get back. If they're good enough friends it shouldn't matter provided you're happy!!! La la la la lala la

I am MAN · 06-02-2004 12:37pm

Just do it over the phone, who cares the result is going to be the same.

Virus_Inc · 06-02-2004 12:39pm

I got dumped by email once... boy that felt good....

Oriel · 06-02-2004 2:38pm

Heh, aw there's worse ways to go than that

DUX · 06-02-2004 3:11pm

I got dumped by text message a few times, was a great experience. Also I felt so good when a girl I was going out with for a while just stopped calling me and didn't answer my calls.... I still haven't been dumped via email, I hope to try that soon so I can see which one make me feel better. :mad:

uberwolf · 06-02-2004 3:24pm

Originally posted by Dr. Loon
That's stupid advice. You're advising him to live in misery for another little while basically! He wants to break up with her, but because you reckon he should do it in person he has to stay celibate and try not to talk to her as much.... or are you suggesting he add cheating to his breakup reasons?

misery(your word) = arguing according to himself, I'm suggesting avoiding that. I'm happy with my gf and I explained earlier that was because there was a time that I could have taken similar action to what you suggest but didn't. Love doesn't make sense, so I by doing something "stupid" am happier than you sound. Not sure that makes it so stupid.

If he is going to break up then I think a girlfriend of 17 months deserves respect and if possible avoiding ditching by phone. Relationships last that long because of a mutual respect, so he must respect her and should avoid ruining that by what you suggest. If its not feasible its not feasible and he gotta do what he gotta do, but it shouldn't be entered into lightly because it will reflect poorly on him for a long time and leave a bitter taste.

Gordon · 06-02-2004 4:48pm

Originally posted by PaddyGold
done and done :-(

It wasn't easy.... but kind of a mutual decision..
Not where did I put my pint

Congrats, you'll feel better soon.

Catsmokinpot · 07-02-2004 10:04pm

my ex is from belgium she was a lovely girl and loved me to bits i thought i loved her till eventually i realised how annoying and childish she was she rang me every day and all she would talk about is why she couldnt be without me and how we were meant to be together. kinda got boring after a while cause she couldnt talk about real things cause our interests were so different and we were so far apart well

anyway the point is i ignored her for ages and then when i was signed into my msn oneday i decided to say "lets call it a day" OVER THE INTERNET. i didnt feel too good but at least i said it and thats all that matters. your in another country, you dont have to take a trip over there to tell her! so just tell her

Breaking up over the phone ?

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