Fairy Tales

greglo23

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.
As
Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and
promises
to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only
on
two conditions. First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
"What's
the second condition?" You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your
diaphragm
will turn into, a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes,
and
Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking
love struck and **very** satisfied. Where have you been?" demands the fairy
godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours
ago!!!" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." I know
of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" I can't remember,
exactly .. Peter, Peter, something or other..."


Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters
when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to
see if
he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever
indicated
and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw
Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the
girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who
needs a girlfriend?"


Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big
Bad
Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat said,
"Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that,
Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out
a.
44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to
eat
me, just like it says in the book!"


Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to
Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't
say
she was crazy, I said she's ****ing Goofy."


Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him,
knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me!!
Lie
to me!!

UnrealQueen

Gud ones:D but i don't get the first one

murd0k

Tee he he, sandpaper, pinnochio's going for the whole pleasure pian thing i see. But the first one is beyond me.

passive

the rhyme is "peter, peter, pumpkin eater"

so...the pumpkin would be located in place of the diaphragm...and peter would then eat the pumpkin which would mean, for cinderella...(you can figure the rest out yourself)

quank

lol, hahah, good ones