Problem with friend - changing, becoming egotistical and hypocritical

LegacyUser

Having a problem with a friend lately. Over the past several months there have been some nasty changes to his personality. His ego is growing and growing and with it he is becoming more and more hypocritical.

The hypocrisy in particular gets to me. He talks more and more about grand expectations for people around him and his ideal visions for character and personality which he is embodying less and less of (he used to come close once before he somehow realised it and started thinking of it). What gets to me is when he talks about he importance of communication and confrontation in a relationship, but these days I can't talk to him about anything without him biting my head off. I fear he's elevated himself so high that any sort of criticism would cut through him like a knife. I've noticed this in his reactions towards me when I do point out his hypocrisy. A mutual acquaintance of ours told me he's probably developing serious issues and may need some sort of help? Is there anything I can do? Considering it's so hard for me to talk to him these days.

Kell

Depends on how much of an arse he is being vs how much of a friend you are. I mean if you are bestest mates in the world, do anything for him. There could be some sort of thing bugging him, or he is getting dependant on some sort of substance (likely indicators are the ones you just pointed out).

Anyway, tell him you're not trying to invade his space or criticise, but that you want your mate back.

K-

inaccessibleisl

Your reading too much into this. Friends aren't like family.
The way I look at it if a friend turns into a muppet, well then they're not a friend anymore. Move on. Your not married to him, I hope. If you hate talking to him,
avoid him. Be rude when he talks to you, unless your afraid he'll attack you physically, and/or emotionally. Basically cut him out.

Stark

Okay, don't try to appease him, it'll wreck your nut (the whole dr. dorian, dr. cox thing).

Speaking from your friend's point of view - I like to engage in self-improvement as much as I can but often go overboard on the whole confidence building aspect leading to full-scale ego-trip. Maybe this is what your friend is externalising when he talks about "ideal qualities". It hurts when someone comes along and shatters this but it's ultimately beneficial. (Damn it does hurt, especially when you had nothing but good intentions). Don't read too much into initial reactions either, everyone lashes out when they feel hurt.

On the other hand, you will get the stubborn pricks who instead of having their egos shattered will only grow more resolute in their cockiness. The "I am what I am, not going to change for anyone" type.

The best advice I can give you is the toughest, confront him. Classic do or die moment. Expect him to lash out at you, then give him some space. If he's still a prick after you've given him time to reflect then **** him. Otherwise you could have gotten lucky and he's actually taken your reaction on board, in which case you can talk the rest of your **** out and your friendship will be stronger for it.

As regards "serious mental issues", god-complexes are common amongst people who are manic-depressive or have other psychiatric disorders, but your appraisal of your friend having some mental disorder is probably way over the top. He probably just needs someone to burst his bubble.