Ten Things I Hate...

Fidelis

Not Being Able To Say To A Speed Cop:

[1]I bet this shiny new 50p piece can make you forget the whole thing.

[2]Never mind speed - is there anywhere I can score some hash in this dump of a county?

[3]When are you going to get a real job? Your mother and I are worried sick about you.

[4]No, I have no idea how fast I was going - but my beer was splashing all over the place.

[5]Do you know how much tax I paid last year? I pay your bloody wages!

[6]What is that you're jabbering - some sort of local dilalect? Speak English, dammit!

[7]I have a special licence to speed - look, it says "Tear along the dotted line" right there.

[8]I know you're just doing your job, guard, and to see that makes me so proud to be the eldest son of the Minister for Justice.

[9]Was that you I saw in the Carlow Gay Pride march? I think it shows real courage for a guard to come out like that.

[10]Well, look, you'd hardly travel at the natioanl speed limit when trying to get through Limerick, now would you?

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Nil Desperandum

Mills

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">[7]I have a special licence to speed - look, it says "Tear along the dotted line" right there.</font>

LMAO!