What to do what to do..

malico

Try to keep this as breif as possible.

I posted here RE getting dumping my x or not a while ago, under a "guest" account, but it got killed as a troll, as someone came in and used the same guest nick as me saying it was a troll and it got banned.. We may remember it fondly as the bunny boiler., with guns!

Anyway here's my problem, I went out to her house a few weeks ago to remain friends, and I was aware that she was going out with someone in the same organisation that I met her in, so I was sure nothign would happen.

And I was wrong. So very wrong. She told she broke up with him for me and wanted a hug. So I hugged her and, well, one thing led to another etc etc....

All well and good. Then she started texting me again. No problem, friends. Then all about missing me and that sort of thing. I have no real problem, as we're not going out. Untill I found out a few days later.... She told me she was still with, lets say his name is... erm... Dave...Not using real names here. SHe wrote me aletter on 26 December, while she was with him, which was a foolscap page of what she missed about me and another page of her asking me back.

Also during this time, I'd started talking to her friend. We had gotten on well when me and her were gogin out so I continued it. She asked me to stop and I did. But her friend believed it was my choice, and ms X keps telling her it WAS my choice, not hers.

So the quesations are these
1. Should I tell the boyfriend about this. I mean I work with him in the organisation, and hate to see people being messed about. Would prefere to be told myself.

2. Should I tell the friend that her life is being controlled as to who can and can't talk to her

Advice pls!

Mal

ToxicPaddy

It sounds very similar to the other thread here about the guy whos ex is trying to
have her cake and eat it..

She wants to keep you tagging along while still seeing the other guy. Then she tries
this whole control thing with you and her mate..

In my opinion, your ex should stay ur ex, walk away and cut all contact or at least
keep her at a safe distance. I wouldnt go telling the other guy anything as he will
see you as the ex b/f whos trying to stir it up with his new g/f because ur jealous..
And you have no idea what ur ex has been telling him all along.. so steer clear there.

As for that other girl, if you like her as friends or more, then just contact her, arrange
to go for a drink, a coffee or something and chat.. Ignore what ur ex says, as she is
after all ur ex and should have no say over what you can or cant do anymore.

Tox

Grimlock

I think ToxicPaddy gave the best advice possible!
Forget about your ex, don't tell B/friend and
get in contact with your friend and APOLOGISE to her,
cos from what I've read, she thinks you are intentionally
ignoring her of your own free will!
Tell her the truth, then see where things go from there!

Originally posted by malico
I hate to see people being messed about.

Then you should take a look closer to home,
Your ex's B/F is not the only bloke she's playin'
walk away, she's not worth it.

kenmobrien

walk away, walk away, walk a-way.

I was in a situ with a girl like that before. Seriously high maintenance, even though I thought it was worth it at the time, it wasn't. Drama after drama. Fools-cap page after fools-cap. I almost lost a life-long friend, lesson learned I can tell you. Dump her, and don't give in. Don't be lured back by her sweet words. Go find a stand-up young lady who wont fuk with your head. I did. No games. No sweet poison words. just down-to-earth love.

Sarky

She had her chance.

malico

Cheers for advice

Nah I am staying away from her after the last time, no doubt there. She DID have her chance and blew it too!


Just wondering abotu talking to the boyfriend./ Nah,m i'll let him find out himself. He he, leave the URL to this topic lying around....

As for the friend, back in contact with her, and screw {Ex's name deleted}

dr_manhattan

man this is too wierd: I've read so many posts like this in here, what the hell is wrong with people?

i dunno about anyone else, but I *generally* speaking play about a bit and, except when I have a main partner, generally am intimate with a couple of women. And I tell them this, and they have no problems, and I have no problems, and we all have fun.

And when things get tricky then they get tricky, but that gets ironed out too: no romontic involvement is problem free.

but these people, these people who I have *some* experience of but not a huge amount, who just go about bull****ting everyone up about what they're doing, constantly ensuring that they are centre of the attention, going to HUGE lengths to keep everyone on a string (how many people are familiar with the feeling of being reassured by the thought "NOBODY would go to that length to bull**** someone" and then being proved wrong? heh)... what is the problem?

I mean, okay, I'm trying to picture it: you've got an ex and two or three significant others (SOs) on the go. So instead of going "hi this is me, seeing X, Y, and Z, like you loads but that's how it is"... you sit down and think.

And you think "okaaaaay i'll write a letter to Y, so that while I'm spending time with X and Z, Y will still be in the fold, then when I'm with Y I'll have an insecurity attack with Z, and that'll keep them occupied, and I can tell X that I'm sick and my mother has breast cancer"

I mean, what is it? Where does it come from? Does it actually feel good to have the attention of 4 people, but to know that they like you mainly becuase you've lied to them?

Wierd. Just wierd.

Anyways, had to have my 2 cents here, hope nobody's offended or anything, Malico you have my sympathies, and you seem to be following the best course.