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help classes

  • 12-01-2004 1:43pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,581 ✭✭✭


    I'd read the womens ones before not sure re: the blokes funny anyway :)

    NEW TRAINING COURSES FOR MEN!!! ALL ARE WELCOME! OPEN TO MEN ONLY!

    Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents,
    each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

    Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays.
    Step by step with slide presentation.

    Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
    Round-table discussion.

    Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
    Pictures and explanatory graphics.

    Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and
    fly
    into the kitchen sink?
    Examples on video.

    Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other.

    Helpline and support groups.

    Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the
    right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
    Open forum.

    Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your
    health.
    Graphics and audio tape.

    Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost.
    Real-life testimonials.

    Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel
    parks?
    Driving simulation.

    Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.

    Online class and role-playing.

    Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion.
    Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

    Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
    anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going
    to be late.
    Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.



    CLASSES FOR WOMEN..

    Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are

    now available for women on the following subjects:

    1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

    2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

    3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

    4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The match


    5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet too

    6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

    7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

    8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

    9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

    10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

    11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

    12. Introduction to Parking (hahahahahahaha)

    13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

    14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

    15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

    16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

    17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

    18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

    19. PMS: Your Problem . . Not His

    20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

    21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have

    22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women notice

    23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

    24. Oil and Petrol : Your Car Needs Both

    25. TV Remotes: For Men Only


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,190 ✭✭✭UnrealQueen


    Originally posted by uberwolf

    CLASSES FOR MEN..

    Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost.
    Real-life testimonials.

    Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel
    parks?
    Driving simulation.

    Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion.
    Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

    CLASSES FOR WOMEN..

    6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

    9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

    11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

    12. Introduction to Parking (hahahahahahaha)

    13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

    19. PMS: Your Problem . . Not His



    Luv these:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,483 ✭✭✭Töpher


    hehe, gotta like it! :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,441 ✭✭✭The_Goose


    7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First


    excellent:D :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,726 ✭✭✭quank


    Originally posted by uberwolf
    25. TV Remotes: For Men Only


    *salutes*
    so true...... so true


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