Diary Of Elexra [Two poems]

Q_Elexra

Okay so they aren't very good, but considering they were written when I was coming up with ideas for the story I'm writing called 'Diary Of Elexra' and my ideas came out as poems they don't seem so bad.

You can read what I've written so far in 'Diary Of Elexra' here

Gallant Youth Of Contex

For their country
the young men fight
Its their beliefs
that spur on their plight

Some fight for a queen
a long year discrased
no fondation on which
those allogations were based

But light will soon come
their enemy shall heave
That is the spoil of victory
for those who believe

Warrior Queen

The death of a parent
amplified by two
tossed into power
now one of so few

Battle after battle
sword on shield
notting to fight for
but she still won't yield

Enemies crumble
beneath her rath
All for the believers
Our queen, Elexra.

passive

ooh, i like the look of the story anyway

the poems are nice but the rhyme seems a bit forced. i'd say they work fine within the context of the story but seperately i didn't really take anything from them except that they rhyme..

but i don't really know much about poetry, just letting you know i'll be reading your story
(and why does nobody post feedback to anything on this forum? is it just dead? its not very encouraging for people to post their writings here )

DriftingRain

OHHHHHHHHHHH I love it!!!
You must hurry and add more to this story!

~DR~