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Your Momma

  • 06-01-2004 5:43pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,309 ✭✭✭


    Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

    Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

    Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

    Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.

    Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

    Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

    Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

    Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

    Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

    Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

    Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

    Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "~CeNsOrEd~, is it Halloween already?"

    Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

    Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

    Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

    Yo momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

    Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

    Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

    Yo momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

    Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

    Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

    Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life

    Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

    Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

    Yo momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

    Yo momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.

    Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

    Yo momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

    Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

    Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

    Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

    Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.

    Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

    Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

    Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

    Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

    Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

    Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

    Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

    Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "~CeNsOrEd~, is it Halloween already?"

    Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

    Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

    Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

    Yo momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

    Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

    Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

    Yo momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

    Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

    Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

    Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life

    Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

    Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

    Yo momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

    Yo momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.

    Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

    Yo momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

    Yo momma's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

    Yo momma's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

    Yo momma's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.

    Yo momma's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

    Yo momma's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.

    Yo momma's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.

    Yo momma's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.

    Yo momma's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the ~CeNsOrEd~ since.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.

    Yo momma's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she wiped her *ss before she took a ****.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".

    Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.

    Yo momma's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

    Yo momma's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she breeds crabs.

    Yo momma's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

    Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"

    Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

    Yo momma's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."

    Yo momma's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

    Yo momma's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.

    Yo momma's so nasty, she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.

    Yo momma's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

    Yo momma's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

    Yo momma's so nasty, a skunk smelled her *ss and passed out.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,483 ✭✭✭Töpher


    Yo momma's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

    Had me in stitches! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,174 ✭✭✭✭kmart6


    Originally posted by Kazu
    .
    Yo momma's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

    My fav:D :D






    You do know thers a gew there more than once


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