Still havn't kissed a girl...

LegacyUser

I'm a regular visitor to these boards, but unfortunately so are a few of my friends, so i want to post this annomously (however you spell that...) to avoid some embarressment (i wish i could spell)

Anyway, i'm 17 years old (18 in may), male, and i still havn't met a girl.

When i was younger my parents were very wary about letting me go out, and frequently didnt let me go out with the other people in my class etc. At the time they used to go to the wesley discos, where there were plenty of drunk girls who didn't care who they met, and so got some "action" there. But, this was something i couldn't do, as my parents refused point blank to let me go.

Since i was never allowed go out to these things, i didn't have many friends, as i was never allowed go out with them after school. So i never really saw them except in school.

But in the last year or so they have lightened up a lot on my going out. And while they still disprove of girls, they aren't too vocal about it. I can now go out to my friends' houses past 8pm! (w00ties) I'm also allowed go to parties in people's houses, which previously i couldn't go to. So, since i can now go out more, i have made a good few new friends. Some of which are hot girls

But, since i never went i don't really know how to react when the right situation occurs. I had a chance with this girl i know a few months ago. But as i never went out to the discos etc when i was younger, i panicked and kinda left the room . Of course i regretted it as soon as i had time to think about it. The same thing happened in an irish summer camp i was sent to in ballinteer. I liked this girl, but was too shy to do anything about it, and on the last day she said she liked me, and i pretended i couldn't hear her, as i was panicking again, and missed out.

Is it unusual for a person my age to not have met a girl? And can anyone give me some honest advice about what i should/could do in these situations. I wouldn't be the most confidant person out there, so don't suggest anything completely off the wall

If this is in the wrong forum, please move it.

Lafortezza

Everyone has awkwardness around the opposite sex at some stage or other. Sometimes its at 15 yrs old, sometimes its at 17/18, sometimes its still present when you're in your twenties and have a few years of college/work under your belt. Everyone progresses at different rates.

Look at it this way, recently you've started to go out a bit more, parties and stuff, and apparently from what you say some 'hot chicks' are there and they've even shown interest in you!! :eek:

Just wait til you get to college...

aodh_rua

Originally posted by lafortezza
Just wait til you get to college...

Dead right lafortezza. I didn't kiss any girls before coming to College (ah the lonely joys of growing up in the countryside) and I can safely say that I more than made up for it once I got there.

Cabaal

I have to agree with the college remark,
also I know its dam hard but next time you like a girl ask her out, you have nothing to loose and you'll feel SOOOO much better after you try because atleast you tried!
Seriously..

MrNuked

If you tell a girl that [you're shy and never kissed someone], there's a good chance she'll find it attractive especially if she already likes you. At very least it will make her feel better about herself if she's been wondering why you haven't kissed her yet. Also it will make you feel less pressurised. The worst thing you can possibly do is lie about it, particularly to a girl you like, or try to conceal it with posturing or bragging...not that I get the impression you would be give to either.

Lafortezza

Originally posted by aodh_rua
Dead right lafortezza. I didn't kiss any girls before coming to College (ah the lonely joys of growing up in the countryside) and I can safely say that I more than made up for it once I got there.

I went to an all boys school, and apart from a girl I went out with who lived near me when I was 16, there was pretty much no kissing up until I went to college, then I turned into a dirty slapper, or maybe college girls are just frisky as hell?

Thorbar

There's no point in putting yourself under pressure or worrying about what's normal for you're age group. Everyone grows up at different paces and there's no hard and fast rules. Just do what feels best for yourself and don't beat yourself up about it. At the same time if an oppurtunity should arise I'd suggest sticking the head in, the worst that can happen is that the girl will say no thanks which isn't the end of the world.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies, it makes me feel better already . Looks like i have to wait a few months before i turn into some kind of ragin collage hormone machine (just kidding). Now to concentrate on those mocks coming up soon (yeah right ).

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Somebody
Now to concentrate on those mocks coming up soon (yeah right ).

I would if I were you, it would be a shame to have to wait another year for your college ‘experience’ due to repeating your leaving!

ixoy

Hey - if it makes you feel better, I'm 25 and never kissed a girl! There ya go!

Lex_Diamonds

Dont you bat for the other team though?

ixoy

Originally posted by Lex_Diamonds
Dont you bat for the other team though?

Ssshhh - I'm trying to make him feel better

moridin

You're probably frightening the poor lad.

feylya

The world doesn't revolve around kissing a girl. Just live life while you can, do the leaving (as **** as it is) then enjoy yourself once you're out of school?

And what's this bull**** about college? Them is lies.

Lafortezza

Originally posted by feylya
And what's this bull**** about college? Them is lies.

Just my own personal experience of life after 6th year, and those of my friends.

feylya

Bah, I'm in the wrong college so.

Red Alert

It's fruitless to step outside your front door on the way to a nite out thinking "I need to score tonight", unless of course you're going to copperface jacks!

First time i kissed anyone i was simply going down for a few drinks in the pub with my mate, got introduced to a friend of hers and then you know the rest...

Kold

nothing to worry about, I was a late starter myself because i live in a slightly rural place but now i'm doin aight

Course I DO look like keanu reeves :P

Originally posted by Kold
Course I DO look like keanu reeves :P

deimos

I think the whole kissing thing and the feeling of the need to do so is somehow encouraged by peers and alike, in the sense that your not part of the "club" if you don't do it on a regular basis.
I have not kissed lots of girls, in fact very little, 2 but I have never found myself uncomfortable admitting that.
Kissing has too much emphasis upon it(or in Dublin as the scanger says "here, yung-fela, will ya meet her?").

The first time I 'kissed' a girl I was of course as nervous as hell, she actually cralwed on top me so that she could get at my mouth, she knew I was nervous and she knew what had to be done(I think I let on that I did not hear her, but she suceeded).
We were in the cinema, and then just as we started some guy behind us started tapping me on the back and asked us to stop, talk about fu**ing embarrassment(moved down 2 seats).

I did'nt feel majoraly comfortable with the (w)hole thing afterwards but I did feel a lot more comfortable. The second time I was at a house party, and if I did'nt have some residual confidence from the previous encounter I would have never done anything.

I do understand the fact its something you feel you need to get out of the way as though its on a checklist, I did anyway and I am 18 (those encounters were not too long ago).
And as MrNuked pointed out earlier of actually telling a girl this and her finding it attractive I think is true, that is of course if she is a nice person.

And disco's and all of that, thats all crap. Your better of finding somebody you like, becoming good freinds with them, and then when it comes to the crunch you will not feel half as bad meeting them and since you know the person its easier. All that other stuff of meeting birds in disco's is all "boost the ego" crap, I prefare to actually get to know somebody and have a proper relatonship.

Lex_Diamonds

Originally posted by deimos
I think the hole kissing thing...

Jaysus, fair play! I wouldnt be into that myself.

Agent Smith

kold only a mother could love a face like that

deimos

Originally posted by Lex_Diamonds
Jaysus, fair play! I wouldnt be into that myself.

Jebus christ, did'nt even spot that..............

Beruthiel

keep on topic ladies
B

Lex_Diamonds

Originally posted by deimos
Jebus christ, did'nt even spot that..............

*psssst* Mate, paragraph three! :ninja:

Kold

lol that link should have a counter... and dodgy popups

Beruthiel

either keep on topic or I'm binning the thread
B

][cEMAN**

Man I wouldn't worry too much. What's the worst that's gonna happen? TBH when you're freaking that much about it, sometimes it's a good thing to become a bit of a cocky asshole (sorry to be blunt) and just go for it. Maybe you'll get a slap and maybe you'll not. The worst thing is a slap and she walks off. Chances are though, esp with girls who tell you they like you, you're not going to come away too bad.

Just trust in the fact that hey maybe you're a nice guy and hey maybe they don't find you the most hideous creature to crawl out of the lagoon....and make a move (the grabbing and going for it move is where the cocky asshole bit came into it).

Then when you feel more comfortable with it you don't have to be so forceful about it and you can learn to do it in a more relaxed way. But hey maybe she'll like that wild side of you :P

SAXA

Girls are people too you know. Fellas and girls both speak the same language just different dialects. Talk to the girl. You know she at least likes you and believe me that a hell of a start. Pick a moment where you at least will not be interuped (saves face for her and you should not all go to plan). Then go for it but take it easy ,it is supposed to be enjoyable !!!

][cEMAN**

Well as you can tell I haven't a clue what i'm talking about. I'm 29 and i've still not kissed a girl (so no jokes about the status of my big V). I just wanted to offer some advice hehe

LegacyUser

I'm now filled with some new found confidance . Its a pity that i already ruined my chances with the two girls i mentioned before... But, in future, i'll try not to freak out so much, and go for the throat! (or mouth as it may be... ) Now to go to copperface jacks (jk)

snickerpuss

No nice girls would mind.
It shouldnt even be a problem.

My boyfriend was the same age as you when he had his first kiss, (with me obv) and he thought i'd think he was really lame when he told me months later but i didnt even realise and i felt kinda special actually! So dont be worried at all, it'll happen.

LegacyUser

gotta say i'v been a couple of ppls first kisses, and stuff. It boosts ur ego for a while but its all so much better in a relationship where you feel valued and trusted. It is softer, more sensual and sexy- kissing is the most intimate thing if you do it right. you don't want to throw it away on a bunch of slappers. been there done that- doing it a lot makes you take it for granted.

There is no feeling like kissing youer beloved in a thunder storm, in a foreign country on a hot day- out in the pouring rain. the whole world dissappears- and all that matters is who you're with. Don't blow all those oppourtunities, savor them cause you're gonna wish that you did. Trust me.

You llearn from experience no doubt- but everyone has different tastes. By all means practise- but save the really good stuff for someone special. If they are right for you then they will learn with you.

Omn another topic girls can be better "ah sure f**k it why not" kissers. at leats they don't try shove thingsa where they are not welcome. If i was single and just wanted a laugh I'd feel safer kissing a girl then a guy. Unless the guy was a good kisser............

Skill like that is a big deal when you're meeting as a one-off but when iits a steady thing then take all the time you need, savor every second. Kissing is the best, when everything is done right!(mood,person,relationship,level of drunk/sober). If you're in love then kissing your partner has the same lovely floaty effect as tipsy. Hence when people r single they get drunk b4 they score generaly!

][cEMAN**

Usually the drunk bit before hand for me is so that when it comes down to it I think "uh...why not" rather than "ARGH GET OFF ME!! GAH!! NO!! JUST NO!! OK?!?! STOP!! GET OFF!! I DON'T WANT YOU I WANT YOUR FRIENDS - GET OUT OF THE WAY SO I CAN GET TO HER!! ARGH!!"

Drink does have a huge affect on this. To an extent it also makes you lazy. You accept the first person who comes to you rather than the person you've had your eye on.

magnia

this is the saddest thing i have ever heard it would be acceptable if you lived in the mountains and there wasnt a woman in site but you live in DUBLIN for **** sake in Dublin fair city where the girls are so easy well not all but there is a good few easy girls in dublin so it shouldnt be too hard gettin off the mark if all else fails il give you my mate charlies number and hel point you in the way of a good prostitute

planck2

The last sentence i agree with, the last thing deimos said on the first page that is, but sometimes a drunken ( not that i'm condoning the consumption of alcohol by a minor) snog can be good.

a ) if you are kissed backed, and the situation moves forward in a positive fashion, then its good

b) if it doesn't you can say you were very very drunk and it'll never happen again

LegacyUser

As much as i'd like to take your advise about getting completely locked, i am one of the minority who isn't a raging alcoholic by the time i leave secondary school. e.g. i don't drink.

But i suppose i could pretend i accidently drank a finger of vodka, except instead of it being a finger width, it was a finger length

I doubt that'll help somehow. I read some advice in another thread about the x-mas postcard (i want to know you better) and Mutant_Fruit gave some good(ish) advice, which i may try. I.e. get the girl who i tihnk likes me and get over to a secluded area and talk, if it goes well, suddenly realiese i have to be somewhere else, and give her a quick kiss before i go. Then wait and see what happens...

That gets around one obstacle, and thats my inherent shyness. The people i would hang out with would be into the hugging when we meet and part, so i would be in the right position to drop off a quick kiss before i flee in terror. Now, as soon as the next girl appears interested in me, thats what i'm gonna try.

p.s. thanks for all the replies, some have been helpful alright.

deimos

Deimos gives 'Somebody' a virtual hug and wishes him the best, that idea of the sucluded area and quick kiss thing is actually pretty good.

Typedef

For fuck sake man assert yourself.

You're turning 18 years old, you don't need your bleeding parents permission to go out and meet girls.... that's crazy.

In as many ways as one can forcefully encourage another to do something, I'd encourage you to complete ignore you're parents ignorant and repressive hang-ups about sex and girls where it comes to you.

At 18, you are a man (as far as the law is concerned) and you don't need you're parents permission to have a life.

I'd advise you to move 'out' of your parents house totally, be it in student digs or you're own place, but, get the hell away from the sort of environment that makes you feel guilty, anxious and bad about following you're instincts and getting with women.

Bloody hell, there's all sorts of nut jobs in this world and from where I sit, it sounds like your parents may be members of the club.

Typedef

Originally posted by Somebody
As much as i'd like to take your advise about getting completely locked, i am one of the minority who isn't a raging alcoholic by the time i leave secondary school. e.g. i don't drink.

But i suppose i could pretend i accidently drank a finger of vodka, except instead of it being a finger width, it was a finger length

Oh and don't be holier - than - thou about going to a club and having a few drinks to meet girls.

Like it or lump it, sometimes it's par for the course in this country .

Understand that.... 'par for the course'.

I would rather not socialise in the pub, believe me, I am perfectly content nerding out for months on end with computers and techie-p0rn, but, while that may be 'my' idea of fun... I doubt 'somehow' too many women would find that a fun way to meet men.

So, you can decide to spurn the established method of meeting women (right or wrong) in this country and sit alone at home resenting you're parents.... or you can lighten up a little bit and swallow you're pride a little and just go out for the odd beer with your friends... with the express desire to go to pull-joints and get your bleeding end away laddie.

*bump*

Cabaal

Originally posted by Typedef
For fuck sake man assert yourself.

You're turning 18 years old, you don't need your bleeding parents permission to go out and meet girls.... that's crazy.

In as many ways as one can forcefully encourage another to do something, I'd encourage you to complete ignore you're parents ignorant and repressive hang-ups about sex and girls where it comes to you.

At 18, you are a man (as far as the law is concerned) and you don't need you're parents permission to have a life.

I have to agree with Typedef here, seriously its your life do what YOU want not what other people want you to do, seriously do it now because in a couple of years you'll look back and regret all the things you did'ent do.

I know there's loads of stuff I missed out on because I was shy and did'ent go out etc, and I regret not doing certain things tbh

Red Alert

I had what many people call protective parents - by 18 i probably told them where i was going 'cos they'd be worried about me, but i certainly never had to ask permission and they'd never try and say no.

Catsmokinpot

Originally posted by lafortezza
Just wait til you get to college...

so so true youll get some then

StephenInsane

Blame the parents!
Blame the parents!
Blame the parents!

If it wasn't for your parents you would have gotton over this fear of women years ago.