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Egotistical virgin, you've never.

  • 03-01-2004 8:44pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 210 ✭✭


    You hear people in "brag mode" saying things like
    "Yeah, I was riding this bird last night at such a place" – The place we can never confirm that is…

    Did they really though?

    In a typical/generic young male environment it seems necessary for most to brag like this. They feel where they are in the level "of who gets it" is paramount to all else (e.g., whether they actually do or not). They brag about this and so most girls stay away from them (for fear of being another slut?). Therefore in the long run they don't get it because they want to make it seem like they do (cache 22)... If you keep your eyes open for a while you generally discover those who say they do generally get it, get it very little or never at all, and those who give no comment on the subject have at least probably had one sexual encounter before in their life (usually).

    Does this sprout from insecurity in social situations where people feel inadequate and feel they need to be seen as some stud to be "part of the gang"?
    I find that these people begin to live in a world of self-delusion where they even believe themselves that they are "the man". When all those around them grow up they are left behind, as a virgin, a liar and most of all without any proper "woman skills".

    Girls even do this to the same extent.

    I am not saying everybody is like this and those who are might have had this instigated by others putting them down, family trouble or alike (inferiority complex develops and to defend the ego this is their best method). I would account this for 1 in every 6 I know.
    The reason why I bring this topic up I was just wondering if anybody else has noticed the same, or do I just know a bunch of weirdo’s?

    I wonder what Herbert Spencer would think:confused:


Comments

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,933 Mod ✭✭✭✭Turner


    Herbert Spencer, was he not a biologist... or am i thinking of somebody else??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 210 ✭✭deimos


    He was an English social theorist. The guy who first said "survival of the fittest", he went about applying Darwins work to the whole social aspect of things.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 658 ✭✭✭xx


    I guess it depends on how often the topic of sex comes up in a conversation. Most of my mates are pretty close-mouthed about what they get up to with women they've been in. Its only when you pry for a bit that they might give you some juicy goss. Equally, if they've been in a weird/cool/unusual sexual situation, they might feel like sharing it?!?!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,613 ✭✭✭BrianD3


    They brag about this and so most girls stay away from them (for fear of being another slut?). Therefore in the long run they don't get it because they want to make it seem like they do

    No I disagree. When I was in school, many of the guys were as you described - arrogant, macho, cavemen, full of bullsh1t about how much sex they were getting. Didn't seem to deter the girls at all, they were all over these guys. I think it was the whole "bad boy" thing that they were attracted to. The fact that these guys were bragging about how much action they were getting (even if was all lies) made them somehow more attractive to other females. The end result of the bragging was that they did end up being very successful with girls so it worked out for them in the end. Being a much quieter, shyer type I resented this enormously. Even to this day, I despise macho bull****ters and and the (IMO trashy and stupid) women that love them.

    BrianD3


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,730 ✭✭✭✭simu


    It's a cover for insecurity and it's quite common.

    Since i left secondary school (where it was very common), I avoid people who do that as it's very dull but, yes, i'd say it's pretty common amongst the wider public as well - ppl in their teens and 20s, especially.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Of course, being secure and perfectly honest is no guarentee of getting anywhere, either.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 210 ✭✭deimos


    Sarky its not really about getting anywhere. I am just trying to make rough divide between two different types of people. Its just the honest and secure folk generally have a better chance of getting somewhere. The insecure types are generally full of **** and when their chance arrives because they are so insecure they do not know what to do.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,267 ✭✭✭Exit


    I've never encountered any of that type of thing since leaving secondary school and going to college. Maybe college people are just more grown up about it? :confused: But yeah, in secondary school it seemed a very common thing to do. I never did it myself, but if somebody asked me if I was still a virgin, I'd just lie and pretend Iwasn't (but I never actually made up stories or people). I think it's just one of those peer pressure things that goes on a lot between teenagers. As I said, I haven't ever experienced it as an adult.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    If anything, it's even worse in college.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,267 ✭✭✭Exit


    Oh well, I never experienced it there anyway.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,330 ✭✭✭✭Amz


    A guy remarked to me recently about a male friend of his that "because he was getting some it was assumed that he must be good in bed" unfortunately for some guys they believe that because they're getting some they're good...

    Alas for many practice does not make perfect or anywhere remotely close...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,333 ✭✭✭Cake Fiend


    There's a nice little phrase to think of in these cases: you never hear a well-fed man talk of food.
    Originally posted by deimos
    Does this sprout from insecurity in social situations where people feel inadequate and feel they need to be seen as some stud to be "part of the gang"?

    Bingo.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭Thorbar


    Sex only really matters to those who aren't getting any. Whenever I heard someone going on about their exploits in the jacks of a club or whatever I have to feel sorry for them. Their either making up **** to try and fit in or they've got serious insecurity issues which encourages them to share those wonderful stories with us.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,319 ✭✭✭sci0x


    This is this type of thing that makes up life in a secondary school. Everybody trying to get off with more people than their friends. You go off to get off with someone, come back to find out your friends have gotton off seven girls each while you were away.

    Its all bull**it really. I never got into this thing of to "be the man", get off with every girl you see. I cant say the same for the majority of the guys in my class at the moment. All they begin to care about is what everyone else thinks of them.... stupid really.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Originally posted by Thorbar
    Sex only really matters to those who aren't getting any.
    That’s crap. I’ve known numerous individuals who never talk about sex and they never get any either, because they’re not terribly interested in sex in the first place. I’ve also known more than a few oversexed individuals who get plenty of sex, again probably because they spend an inordinate amount of their time looking for it.

    What you say may hold up in the playground, but not with grown ups.
    Whenever I heard someone going on about their exploits in the jacks of a club or whatever I have to feel sorry for them. Their either making up **** to try and fit in or they've got serious insecurity issues which encourages them to share those wonderful stories with us.
    So we should not discuss sex at all for fear of being seen as blowhards? :rolleyes:

    I can’t help but feel that most of the gripes that people are coming out about people who talk about sex is that they hope rather than believe them not to be getting any. All smacks of the old bastards versus nice guys debacle. Boo-hoo :p

    Anyhow, how the fuck is this a personal issue for anyone?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,319 ✭✭✭sci0x


    Originally posted by The Corinthian
    Anyhow, how the fuck is this a personal issue for anyone?

    Its a personal issue for deimos. He isnt getting enough of it so he complains about the ppl that do and show off to people that they do :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭Thorbar


    Originally posted by The Corinthian
    That’s crap. I’ve known numerous individuals who never talk about sex and they never get any either, because they’re not terribly interested in sex in the first place. I’ve also known more than a few oversexed individuals who get plenty of sex, again probably because they spend an inordinate amount of their time looking for it.

    What you say may hold up in the playground, but not with grown ups.

    So we should not discuss sex at all for fear of being seen as blowhards? :rolleyes:

    I can’t help but feel that most of the gripes that people are coming out about people who talk about sex is that they hope rather than believe them not to be getting any. All smacks of the old bastards versus nice guys debacle. Boo-hoo :p

    Anyhow, how the fuck is this a personal issue for anyone?

    You may think its crap fair enough but from my own personal experience I'd stand by that statement. Everyone is differient of course and I wasn't stating it as a hard and fast rule.

    Also I didn't say anything about having a problem with discussing sex merely that I doubt the honesty/motive of people who give out all details of their sex life at any possible chance.

    Also I couldn't really give a shite whether these people are actually getting anything or not as long as they're looking after themselves. Just feel sorry for someone who thinks they need to brag about what they've done.

    This isn't the first time you've attacked my opinion without as far as I can see much reason for doing so. Corinthian have I done something in the past to insult or anger you or is that just your personality?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Originally posted by Thorbar
    Everyone is differient of course and I wasn't stating it as a hard and fast rule.
    You did state it as a hard and fast rule. How not a Hell of a lot of ambiguity in
    Sex only really matters to those who aren't getting any. Whenever I heard someone going on about their exploits in the jacks of a club or whatever I have to feel sorry for them. Their either making up **** to try and fit in or they've got serious insecurity issues which encourages them to share those wonderful stories with us.
    Sweeping generalizations make baby Jesus cry...
    This isn't the first time you've attacked my opinion without as far as I can see much reason for doing so. Corinthian have I done something in the past to insult or anger you or is that just your personality?
    Stop talking through your arse and I’ll stop attacking your opinion.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭Thorbar


    Originally posted by The Corinthian
    Stop talking through your arse and I’ll stop attacking your opinion.

    To be honest I don't care either way what you think about my opinion or why you go out of your way to jump down my throat, in future I'll just ignore you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,319 ✭✭✭sci0x


    Originally posted by Thorbar
    This isn't the first time you've attacked my opinion without as far as I can see much reason for doing so. Corinthian have I done something in the past to insult or anger you or is that just your personality?

    Sorry to bud in here but...

    No this is not The Corinthian's personality. I've known The Corinthian to be a really helpful person in boards for peoples personal issues and solving mobile problems.

    This is more of a personal issue i think. Maybe ye shud sort it out betwen yerselves, and not publically on a thread.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,522 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    Jaysus, calm down etc.

    It's kinda nice to have a discussiony thread in PI on social trends, it could go to Humanities if anyone else wants to move it though.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,260 ✭✭✭MojoMaker


    Originally posted by sci0x
    This is this type of thing that makes up life in a secondary school. Everybody trying to get off with more people than their friends. You go off to get off with someone, come back to find out your friends have gotton off seven girls each while you were away.

    Its all bull**it really. I never got into this thing of to "be the man", get off with every girl you see. I cant say the same for the majority of the guys in my class at the moment. All they begin to care about is what everyone else thinks of them.... stupid really.

    And you wonder why any decent establishments in ireland are moving to an over 23's door policy?

    This kind of crap stops about then, thank Christ. However try telling that to an 18-21yr old still obsessed with their genitals, looking cool, latest fads, other people's opinion etc etc...


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 8,576 ✭✭✭fitz


    Originally posted by Thorbar
    To be honest I don't care either way what you think about my opinion or why you go out of your way to jump down my throat, in future I'll just ignore you.

    Wow, you've a talent for over-reacting aswell as sweeping generalisations!

    A veritable example to us all...

    In teenagers, one might get away with saying that big noise = little action.

    In the adult world, big noise can quite easily = big action.

    Doesn't speak to the quality.

    Or anything else.

    It's just people being people.

    It's judgemental to decide you know someones actions just because of the way they carry on...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭][cEMAN**


    Originally posted by fitz
    In teenagers, one might get away with saying that big noise = little action.

    In the adult world, big noise can quite easily = big action.

    Doesn't speak to the quality.

    Quite true, but then it's as equaly immature to brag about such things when you consider yourself to be an adult. Generally i've found if you're good then you don't get to brag about it, word of mouth gets spread between the girl and her friends, and their friends. When you get random proposals then that's when you know you're good. Otherwise forget it - you're just into yourself and in that case the only way you can be certain of being good to you is a w***!


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 8,576 ✭✭✭fitz


    Absolutely.
    Important point though:
    Just because someone's bragging and acting like a 16 year old, doesn't mean they're not getting any.

    Bah to generalisations...anyone who makes them has a small penis.

    :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,563 ✭✭✭Typedef


    What are you babbeling about man.


    Perhaps you can see the marks on my back from the bird I was riding......


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭Thorbar


    Fitz I know I didn't say it in my first post but what I was saying I really only applied to my own personal experience, my girlfriend and group of friends. I don't believe that what I said is true for everyone or even the majority its just been my experience. If you're too blind with hero worship for Corinthian to see this fair enough. And I guess I did over react last night but at this point I couldn't really care less about Corinthian or his rants.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 8,576 ✭✭✭fitz


    Hero worship?
    Ha!

    Pull it outta your ass man....
    Do you take every contradiction as a personal assault to be counter attacked?
    If so, there are people you can talk to about paranoia and acceptance issues you know....


    Typie, you couldn't score in a brothel man, I know you did that to yourself with a garden rake...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,563 ✭✭✭Typedef


    That's what she told me to say.....

    "I was attacked by a rake, with a mind of it's own"... sigh... at least (unlike some) I'm not walking into doors... ha... you know fitzy, you shouldn't let your bird kick your ass like that, shiners just don't suit some....


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    keep on topic ladies and less of the cat fights! :dunno:


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 8,576 ✭✭✭fitz


    Touché...


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 8,576 ✭✭✭fitz


    Originally posted by Beruthiel
    keep on topic ladies and less of the cat fights! :dunno:

    Spoilsport...:dunno:


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Originally posted by fitz
    Spoilsport...:dunno:

    that's what moderators are :rolleyes:

    now drag your ass back to the PTH and set up a thread entitled "Typie, you couldn't score in a brothel man"

    it should prove interesting....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Originally posted by Thorbar
    I don't believe that what I said is true for everyone or even the majority its just been my experience.
    As I’ve already said that’s not what you said. You made a pretty inflexible generalization. You didn’t even qualify your definition to describe someone who would discuss sex ad nausium, and it could apply to anyone who you might have overheard in a toilet or elsewhere. In fairness you weren’t the only one, deimos having started this thread with it, you just happened to be the one I responded to. I wasn’t having a go at you personally.

    Generalizations, other than being a pet hate, are invariably evil things - prejudice is often based upon generalizations, after all. Beyond that, the initial rant did smack of someone who thinks of himself as a nice guy complaining about so-called bastards. I think there was a little bit of the green-eyed monster in the argument - after all, why does it seem to bother some people so much?

    People discuss their sexual exploits more openly as they grow older (indeed, women tend to be far more graphic than men when describing them); I suppose it’s a form of swapping war stories. If you overhear them in a toilet, then that’s your problem - you should be watching where you piss rather than eavesdropping. Perhaps they’re full of hot air, perhaps not, but it’s foolish to assume either way.
    If you're too blind with hero worship for Corinthian to see this fair enough. And I guess I did over react last night but at this point I couldn't really care less about Corinthian or his rants.
    Hahahaha. Fitz is secretly my love child too. Whatever.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 8,576 ✭✭✭fitz


    Hmm...might explain the dashing good looks and irresistible charm... *cough*


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭Thorbar


    I'm sorry for snapping at you Corinthian under pressure from exams at the moment but that's still no excuse. As I've said before I didn't mean for my original point to be a generalisation but a statement of opinion based on my own personal experiences. The fact that it came across as such in my first post is down to my own ineptitude when it comes to writing.

    Trust me, when I go into a jacks in a pub my main concern that I'm is not pissing on my shoes and that I've managed to make it into the right jacks in the first place. When I mentioned jacks before it was when one my friends was bragging about having nailed some random skirt in one.

    Also I'm not jealous of other people's sexual adventures. At no point did I say someone was nice or a bastard either way for recounting their lecherous tales just that I doubted their motives for doing so. Maybe that's a fault of mine but I'm willing to live with it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    No worries. I'll try not to snap at people as much in future too.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,319 ✭✭✭sci0x


    awwwww, all friends again :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 210 ✭✭deimos


    Deimos sheds a tear................;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,319 ✭✭✭sci0x


    Originally posted by deimos
    Deimos sheds a tear................;)

    there there :(


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 622 ✭✭✭ColinM


    Originally posted by The Corinthian
    Generalizations ... are invariably evil things
    An assertion which is, ironically, a generalisation itself.

    I get loads of birds btw. Just thought you should all be aware of that.


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