Should i try to get her back?

LegacyUser

Ok, i've been split up with this girl i was seeing since march last year. I was with her for two months, and it was the best time i've had in my life. We broke it off because it was a fairly long distance relationship. She was in school, i was in college.

We've seen each other once or twice since then. Each time ending in an arguement. I haven't been in touch with her in months now and i have seen a few women since then, but I really really want this one girl back. Without her i feel like a part of me is missing, even though our relationship didn't last very long.

I've been very depressed over the last while, so much to the extent that i have no care for what is going on around me. I haven't even cared for what any of my friends or family have been doing over christmas. I have never been like this before in my life and i really do feel physically sick without this girl in my life. I feel that this is really affecting me and my life.

I tried texting her once but i didn't get any reply from her. Should i try to get her back? What should i do to try and get her back?

DUX

Go whereever she lives in person, show up with a huge bunch or flowers and talk to her! However it goes you will feel better because you gave it a try!! **** the pride, go for it!!
If you don't try you will spend you time wondering...... which is the most awful feeling..

Good luck!

LegacyUser

DUX has it in one !

You probably just end up arguing with each other because you BOTH still have feelings for each other. Go talk to her, and just say ask her if their is someway yee can work it out ? or if she would like too, If she says No !!! for the last time, your my brother for christs sake ! < J/k Sorry couldnt help it > if she says No, you can go back to college and try and forget about her at least you will be away from her , and if
she says Yes lets try , well then the year is looking good for you and you can visit each other each weekend.

honestly if you go for it, you could be happy for a year, I really dont any other choice ........

and long distance realtionships can work they are just a little bit harder thats all.
Best of luck

hedgetrimmer

If you are asking yourself whether u want her back, but are not certain, maybe then you should cut your losses and move on.

DUX

If you don't go for it you will be here asking the same question in 6 months time.....

phoenix2181

I have to agree with Dux, if she says no well at least you know were you stand, but if she says yep or even a maybe all the better, if you don't try you'll be kicking your self for months/years to come wondering what if?
for ages I was kickin myself about a girl & then finally on new years eve I just blurted out to her how I felt & she felt the exact same which was fantastic to say the least

Atreides

If its a situation where your always going to be asking yourself, what if, then go for it. But remember there was probably very pratical reasons you broke up in the first place.

LegacyUser

Ok, I'm in a similar situation. We went out for 2 months over the summer, we had to end it in September because of the long distance. Unfortuanately we had a few bad fights over the phone etc in the last 4 months mainly I think brought on by the fact that we still liked each other but couuldn't see each other. bad thing is i reckon these drove us apart a bit.
Towards Christmas things were very good between us and after Christmas I rang her with the intention of saying I'd like to see her but b4 i got the chance she said she was going with someone- just started that week. she also said she didn't feel the same for me.
Anyway I can't get to see her over the hols but does anyone think it'd be worth it to try later in a few months when maybe shes not seeing anyone. She means too much to me to just forget about her like that.
Cheers

OK...just saw this post now.


DO NOT turn up with a bunch of flowers. This isn't hollywood. You aren't Freddy Prinze Jr and she isn't just waiting there for you to come back and sweep her off her feet. You'll either end up looking like a pathetic loser or a psycho - take your choice...

Who broke up with who? You need to elaborate on these 'arguements' too, cause I can't actually grasp the extent of what's going on without the details.

If you texted her and she didn't text back then I believe that she doesn't want to get back with you. C'mon, lets face it, if she really did want to get back with you then SHE would have texted YOU, never mind just a courteous reply to a text YOU sent HER.


Best thing to do is get out more. Chat to girls in college, or wherever, because it's only when you've actually totally forgotten your feelings for this girl that you can move on. Cause chances are that she did the same thing a long time ago...

][cEMAN**

Jaysus someone must have slipped something into my drink - Utility's giving good advice?!?! Nah I don't believe this - OK time to start a new thread.....'What's in my drink'

I always give good advice. In fact, the world would be a much better place if everyone just thought to themselves, "hmmm, I wonder what utility_ would do".

dod

Originally posted by utility_
I always give good advice. In fact, the world would be a much better place if everyone just thought to themselves, "hmmm, I wonder what utility_ would do".

:rolleyes: Perhaps this thread should be moved to humour?

luckat

Sickman, six months is too long to be thinking about this. Time to move on or take some action.

It sounds to me, though, as if you're not focusing on exactly what broke the relationship up. You say your conversations ended in arguments - but you'll have to think about what the arguments were about, and whether they were arguments or quarrels.

Relationship with other people is generally based on the pleasure they give us. If your girl found you angry and harsh and critical, your company may not have given her great pleasure.

It's nothing to do with your essential lovableness or worth - it's to do with how you behaved towards her.

If you're getting depressed, you're probably taking this as a judgment on your personality and your self. It's not.

I can't tell you what you should do; but that's never stopped me yet.

I'd advise you to put your energy into something physical - get out walking, playing football, swimming. Best way of burning off those depressed chemicals and getting you into a more realistic frame of mind. And deliberately de-gloom yourself. And find a new girl, and be nice with her.

Gummy Panda

Sickman,

I know what you're feeling. I broke up with my girlfriend in september after nearly 4 years. I still get the twitch when i think of her, wondering did i make a mistake. I just stop glamourising the good times and remember the **** i was put through with her and how i wanted out. I was unhappy when i was with her so how is that going to change if i got back with her.

Now i just think to myself "hmmm, I wonder what utility_ would do", and i go after some howler in a pub for her gowler.

Move on lad. Foolish to live in the past.

Plus are you sure she isn't with someone else?

Cork

I was going out with a girl. Shewas great.

But She slept with a friend.

I would probably would have fiorgiven her but we lost contact with each other.

It is hard to get over relationships.

DUX

Originally posted by utility_
OK...just saw this post now.


DO NOT turn up with a bunch of flowers. This isn't hollywood. You aren't Freddy Prinze Jr and she isn't just waiting there for you to come back and sweep her off her feet. You'll either end up looking like a pathetic loser or a psycho - take your choice...

Who broke up with who? You need to elaborate on these 'arguements' too, cause I can't actually grasp the extent of what's going on without the details.

If you texted her and she didn't text back then I believe that she doesn't want to get back with you. C'mon, lets face it, if she really did want to get back with you then SHE would have texted YOU, never mind just a courteous reply to a text YOU sent HER.


Best thing to do is get out more. Chat to girls in college, or wherever, because it's only when you've actually totally forgotten your feelings for this girl that you can move on. Cause chances are that she did the same thing a long time ago...

Bunch of flowers are for loosers now? Mmm.... that's interesting, it always worked when I sent them :-) . Usually loosers who consider themself "real man" are afraid to take initiative like this and prefer to go to the pub and try to pick some sluts there...
Anyway, even supposing Utility_ is right and you may look like a pathetic loser or a psycho....where is the problem? If you fail this girl would still live miles away from you and even though she may think about you as a pathetic loser or a psycho there is also a chance that she may take this positively.... the question is: do you have anything to loose? The answer is: No.
Do you have somethig to gain? The answer is Yes, however it ends you will have no regrets and doubts and you will be able to move on.....

I prefer a "No" rather then live in the doubt....

There is also the chance that if you meet her now after so long you may not be attracted as much as you used to be......

Gummy Panda

Originally posted by DUX
There is also the chance that if you meet her now after so long you may not be attracted as much as you used to be......

That will mostly happen. He is imagining how great she was and imagining what she was really like. The bloody Halo effect. He thinks of one thing she did right and he can't think of anything else.

Dux,

Showing up with flowers is a bit much after having no contact for 6 months. Wouldn't it be better to ring or write first rather then show up like a twat confessing your undying love?

LegacyUser

Originally posted by utility_
Who broke up with who? You need to elaborate on these 'arguements' too, cause I can't actually grasp the extent of what's going on without the details.

If you texted her and she didn't text back then I believe that she doesn't want to get back with you. C'mon, lets face it, if she really did want to get back with you then SHE would have texted YOU, never mind just a courteous reply to a text YOU sent HER.


Best thing to do is get out more. Chat to girls in college, or wherever, because it's only when you've actually totally forgotten your feelings for this girl that you can move on. Cause chances are that she did the same thing a long time ago...

She broke it off with me, she was uneasy at the fact that i was away so much and she didn't want to be tied down. I was ok with that.

The arguements originated from her wanting to be with me, but i didn't want to be with her because i was seeing another girl at the time (not going with her). I just didn't need the hassle cos i had alot of **** on my plate at the time (exams etc.). She texted me out of the blue in September, I text back but that faded away within two weeks.

Then I decided to text her in December to let her know a few things going on, and I also text her asking how she was doing and stuff because i was at a low point at this stage.

...

Thanks for the feedback people.

alienhead

so............ did you get the girl?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by alienhead
so............ did you get the girl?

are you bored alienhead?
I'm sure if the guy wishs to tell us, he will
no need to be dragging up old posts
B

alienhead

yep, one of those days.

Originally posted by Beruthiel
are you bored alienhead?

Typedef

I haven't read anything but the title of this thread.

The answer has to be *never* try to get them back, it's over, for whatever reason and unless you both happen to be <=18 years old where a) people have sex much less and or b) swapping boyfriends/girlfriends is commonplace, the reality is that your relationship with this girls has ended.

It only seems difficult now... where 80% of that difficulty is instinct induced depression, now that your ability to reproduce with immediacy is diminished.

By the time you're onto your next chick, this entire not going after the ex, will seem like a totally brilliant idea.

Maybe in a few months/years, the two of you could do the whole *we're just friends thing* depending on how deperate both parties are and/or in need of a ride.

Like Billy Crystal says, men and women can never be friends, since sex gets in the way, always.

That said... I have several stunning female friends, who'd jump into bed with me at the slightest intimation... but, you know...

One at a time!