Billy Connolly's 'Did you ever stop and wonder?'

sci0x · 30-12-2003 12:30AM #1

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat

the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to

a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,

why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get

undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that

ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call

it a haemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,

but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive fast

angelofdeath · 30-12-2003 08:06AM

all v.good:)

Ameirgin · 30-12-2003 10:48AM

Those are brilliant!!

Pugsley · 30-12-2003 10:50AM

Gotta love Billy Conolloy

vibe666 · 30-12-2003 11:31AM

did you see the show he did in dublin? it was on his last dvd (not the newest one) he was talking about crossing the road where dawson st. meets nassau st. in dublin and how hard it was to get further than the little traffic island. very funny.

he's a star anyway. my dad has 2 original 12" records of his shows at home. probably worth a bit of cash by now.

Dempsey · 30-12-2003 02:24PM

Billy Connolly is a legend.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Right Good:D

Commissar · 30-12-2003 04:26PM

Excellent.:D

tba · 30-12-2003 06:43PM

Originally posted by vibe666
...he was talking about crossing the road where dawson st. meets nassau st. in dublin and how hard it was to get further than the little traffic island...

Yeah that i really difficult there why is that?