Betrayal

Shewhomustbe...

I was quite recently betrayed and am wondering what people consider to be the worst kind of betrayal so I can gauge how sorry I should feel for myself and how long I should take before kicking myself in the ass.

Sarky

Betrayal of trust is nasty.

Revenge is a bad idea.

Pick your life back up and try not to misplace trust again. When your house gets blown down there's not much point trying to hit the wind.

Shewhomustbe...

I appreciate your advice but I should have stated that the person who betrayed me was my mother, and it wasn't the first time, and it was in favour, this time, of a sibling.

Beruthiel

perhaps more details as to what exactly she did would be useful

remember, mothers are human too and not always perfect

chernobyl

She promised to keep the last bowl of frosties for ya?

Yeah, more details needed.

Havelock

If I was to hold a grudge against my parnets for everytime they betrayed me, I'd die of stress, or have them wacked. With out futher details I can't be of much help, except see the situation from the other persons point of view to see if it may seem that what they did was the only thing they could, if not and it was malicious, forgive them and bide your time.

Typedef

Originally posted by Sarky
Revenge is a bad idea.

Ha!

Nonesense. "Revenge is a dish, best served cold".

Though in the poster's case.... maybe, you're mother just gave the last digestive biscuit to you're 2 year old sister, because she's two and a girl... and that may not necessarily constitute... betrayal.

/seriously

DriftingRain

I am not sure what you mother did or how to offer advice.

I do know we all have different personalities and some need differnt types of compassion shown. Try my two brothers and I for an example. I am the oldest and I have to be huged and told I am cared for. My brother Luke..hand him a cold one and ask how his day was and he feels the love. The youngest Jason is a little different..he somewhat is sneaky and gets into the most trouble without really getting into trouble if you get my drift...but my mom picks his head up and gives him a slap on the back with an I LOVE YOU and he's good to go.

Remember we're all different people with different minds and personalities and we're always treated differently in the long run!

Without more details I can't offer more....:rolleyes:

~DR~

Shewhomustbe...

I had a detailed explanation all done up but then my computer decided it didn't like it so I'll have to make this quick.

My mother became pregnant with me out of wedlock, big deal, but it was the 70's and if she wasn't engaged already she'd have been in a Laundry house faster than you can blink.
Her mother told her that I was her "cross to bear"
Nice beginning.

(Funny story, over the summer she told me that being sent one of those houses would have been better than the life she's had)

Should that upset me????

When I told her I was molested by her sister's husband she gave her control of the situation.
The aunt was diagnosed with cancer and my mother thought it would be a great idea for me to see her, problem was I had said I never wanted to set foot in that house again.
Didn't matter a f**k, she was sick and I was going.
He was in the house because he was never even told to leave, but for my benefit not in the same room.

Her manipulative, backstabbing, abusive, lying sister's soul was more important than my life. She died having done nothing to save it.

The newest betrayal was in favour of my sister who moved into my home last year because she couldn't take living at home anymore.

I, with my partner have been trying to buy a house,we've had some financial difficulties and this year has been particularly stressful. So much so that by July I was becoming physically ill with it. (Diagnosed with a chest infection)

I wasn't getting on too well with my mother as I was getting sick of being told I have it good because I wasn't a mother at 21 (still amn't)
(That damn cross just won't go away)

By August my chest still wasn't any better and on the morning of the Wed 20th I was having serious problems.
Half an hour after I got up I was on my hands and knees in my kitchen freaking out because I could barely breathe.
I go to the doctor who tells me I have asthma.
I should have been going to Linkin Park and Metallica. (we were bringing my brother, 13th birthday present)

I spend the following day on my bathroom floor in and out of consciousness, during which time my sister goes to my mothers.
She strolls in Sunday night, we had a bit of a fight as she hadn't been in touch once.

Things weren't that peachy on Mon or Tues and on Wed she tells me she's going home again for the weekend and I don't hear from her again until I text her to find out what's going on, this is about two weeks later.
At that point she still hadn't told me if she was coming back (we needed our lease extended and needed to know if she'd be on it)

Anyway blah blah she didn't come back.

My mother was her one night dumping her sh*t and during the conversation said that if we had problems with out landlord I could come home.

Four days before my birthday (November) I went down to ask if it was necessary could I take up the offer. The conversation took place with me standing just inside the front door and being told she couldn't give me an answer until she'd spoken to everyone in the house.

I've heard nothing from my mother.

My sister took my brother to Manchester to see and meet Linkin Park.
I've heard nothing from her since the night she walked out after collecting her belongings.

Me spending Christmas alone has only been averted as my partners mother won't allow it.

Does that qualify as betrayal?

Barry Aldwell

That's not really betrayal, more her going back on her promises.

Confront her. Ask outright if you can move back home, and make sure she answers you clearly there and then. Don't let people screw you around like that - they'll start taking it for granted. Assert yourself, make your family know that you matter too.

echomadman

Walk away from them, give it a few years and see if they've copped on, that "cross to bear" stuff is bullshit, and I personally wouldn't give any of them the time or the amount of thought you are.
Getting stressed out about stuff like this is bad for your health, as you have found out, while it might be hard to break contact, i know from experience that staying in crappy domestic situations isn't good for you.

DriftingRain

Some times time heals all things. I would stay away from them all for a bit. I agree with Echo. You can't stay stressed over them to the point that it makes you sick. Believe me I've been in somesort the same situation with my parents. Sometimes you want what you can't have! Relationships are the same way...I recommend giving yourself a break, if you can!


Sorry and hope all gets well.

~DR~

JohnnyBravo

sod the lot of them they are holding you back and criticzing you when you try to grow as a person

Agent Smith

Originally posted by Sarky
Betrayal of trust is nasty.

Revenge is a bad idea.

Pick your life back up and try not to misplace trust again. When your house gets blown down there's not much point trying to hit the wind.

but revenge is a dish best searved cold....