One For the Girls

skittishkitten

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" She replied, "Probably that I married you for your money."

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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded.
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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

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He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife! wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

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A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

Havelock

Should I ask how your days been, Skittish?

kmart6

hee hee all very good:D

angelofdeath

Originally posted by skittishkitten
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

hehe, dumbass:)

quank

heehee, thats first one is gudin:)

LoneGunM@n

Originally posted by skittishkitten
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

*brilliant

I know I should be offended, but I guarantee it that my other half would pray that prayer:D

Agent7249

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

lol, Nice one , kept out the last part because it kinda ruins it.

The_Goose

pretty good

AL][EN

Originally posted by skittishkitten

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A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN
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ROFL

pure class that one made me laugh! good one

de5p0i1er

Very good.