suicidal

LegacyUser

before i start i should probably say that im more than likely not gonna go ahead with this, im too much of a coward to kill myself because i cant stand pain. however if there was a painless way of ending my life instantly i would do it now
to cut this short basically i dont see a reason to live, everyone goes about their lives daily for a reason be it work, family, money, whatever. i dont have one of those reasons, never have ,never will. im worthless. im ****. besides my family the world would be a better place without me. i know this because ive been told it. some of my earliest memories are of kids my age rejecting me. ive put up with this **** my entire life and i really dont want to put up with it any more. seems like i have no choice but to put up with it. dont even know why im posting here it might provide a tiny bit of releif sharing this.

ykt0di9url7bc3

consider it shared....

im ****. besides my family the world would be a better place without me. i know this because ive been told it.

well to be honest, you are the world...whatever you see and hear..thats your choice and your perogitive, so go out and get a better view on the world, find out the fun and crazy ****e thats out there.....

god knows the world in many respects would be better off without me, but thats because i can be a cruel opertunistic **** at times but it doesnt matter to me, see, what i see of the world is nice and fun, you should find the same...
it may take a while to find a new horizon and new vision but you'll make it...you've made it this far

Nevyn

Résumé

by Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Originally posted by Un
to cut this short basically i dont see a reason to live, everyone goes about their lives daily for a reason be it work, family, money, whatever. i dont have one of those reasons, never have ,never will.

you cant say never, how knows what tomorrow will hold or what life will send your way.

im worthless.

not one person on this earth is worthless you may feel that way but you and your potenial are worth more then you will ever know.

but there are times when you need others to help point that out to you .

http://www.aware.ie/
http://www.iol.ie/~vast/support/Samaritans.htm

ferdi

been there.

its a **** place your in, i know.

i'm not going to patronise you.

dosnt look like it now but eventually things will get better.

i promise.

FinalWord

buy a warm jam doughnut and eat it, enjoy it, its fûcking delicious, thats the least of the things ur gonna miss, don't dwell on the downers, stay up through a dawn, c the sun rise, the birds singing, its beautiful, think of someone u care about, that u love to c.Whats better to u, an everlasting dreamless sleep or ur life, most of it may be really bad but i know there are things u love and they will die with the bad

Paddy20

Available 24 Hours a Day, Every Day.

Please, call the Samaritans, on 1890-60-90-90 (Irish Republic). If you feel suicidal, or would like someone to really 'listen' !.

Most of their volunteers have been through the mill, and truly understand. Maybe, you might find you could be a helper/volunteer as well. They are always looking for more volunteers throughout Ireland, particularly from amongst those who have real experience of exactly what you are going through.

Good luck.

P.:ninja:

The Second

And drugs cause cramp

I beg to differ...

Do you watch films? ... can you imagion a film that you would like to be in? ... films are based on life. Not your life obviously .. otherwise we would all be manically depressed...

sorry.. but its true.

If you are at the point where you think your life is worthless and you want to throw it away.. you are lucky...

seriously .. hear me out... I've had this conversation with myself before...

If you don't like it .. change it. Ok .. so you are saying .. "but I can't".. why can't you? ... because of someone else? .. its not someone else's life! .. its yours! .. and you can't rely on other people to make you happy.. wouldn't it suck if someone else relied on you to make them happy!.. you wouldn't be making a very good job of it right now! .. so someone is relying on you... killing yourself would depress them even more.. if they knew you had moved on and had a good life that would at least be something .. wouldn't make them feel guilty.

If someone isn't relying on you.. all the better... you have everything there is ! .. you can do whatever you want! .. *why doesn't that make you smile?*...

If you could create a film ... what would the main character be like? .. and what would they do? ... ok.. now .. go make yourself into the main character.. *thats the tough bit*... and do what needs to be done...

first things first... If .. *yes the key word is if*... you could imagion someone who is happy ... *happy in regards to themselves .. this is a one man show so far.. don't be including too many people!* ... what would this happy person be like .. and where would they be? .. what would they be doing?

Matfinn

Listen man, if you go around thinking your shít, then you will be shít. Your body language will show off your lack of self esteem and your inferiority complex, if you have one.

If you go around thinking your the mac daddy. things will be different and much better. Dont go around like a cocky moron. Instead of saying 'Be yourself' I will say 'Improve yourself'. Thats the best advice I can give here. If you start feeling better about yourself, people will see that and become more accommodating to you. Them kids when you were a kid, its in the past man, forget it. I hope that helps. Remember its only in your head. Its not real. You might think it is, because you read it that way. You assume its that way because you have a low self esteem. You might take something someone said to you the wrong way?

Listen if someone said to you that your not worth having around or whatever, then **** them. Dont take that **** seriously. You are in a rut now in life that I have seen. Just remember these words. Think of yourself as good and then you will be good.

That might not ring true now but it will someday, hopefully soon.

Matt

Havelock

I've been throught that, many times. There is a sort of roller-coaster ride of it throught my adolence.

The best advice I was given, was to be my self. Be proud of who and what I am. Not let others negative opinions superseed my own.

As the song says - "Life ain't worth a damn, until you can say, I am what I am"

Its things, that made the whole of life more unbearable for me. Being single at Chrsitmas was always a killer. Same with bad weather, being ill, all that used to bring me down like a rock. Not sayig you should be dependant on some else for you happyness.
But don't let the little things get you down, and suddenly everythign is a little easier to cope with.

If you have any questions, I'm sure anyone here would be glad to answer.

Silent Grape

if 'snapping out of' being suicidal actually worked, there wud be no suicidal people!


that whole 'film' thing is a really good idea. it might sound really cheesy and crap but it really helps if u think about it. u get to control ur own life, not have other peoples opionions dictate to u how to be.

the only person who can ever make u feel down or inferior or worthless is urself (i dont mean that in a harsh way). ive been through hell and back but from all that ive learned that i am my best investment, not my family or friends, i depend on myself to get me through the hard times.


you'll be a much stronger person after all this crap, i promise, i know i am, and now im much better able to deal with what life throws, a lot better able to deal with it than all those people who i used to depend on.

live for urself, only (i dont mean be selfish or alienated or anything like that), just take care of urself, if someone is bringing u down, distance urself from them etc.

is there any way u cud bring this up with ur family? families can be surprisingly strong about this sort of thing.

please think about ringing the samaritans or aware. aware do group therapy things that are really good.

things will brighten up, i promise, nothing can be dark forever. u are probably a really kind and compassionate person with a huge heart. focus on the good things, try ur hardest to let the bad go.

pm me if u want another rant.
take care
x

Matfinn

Originally posted by Silent Grape
if 'snapping out of' being suicidal actually worked, there wud be no suicidal people!
x

Dont criticise me, Im only trying to help. Thanks

Matt

Silent Grape

wasnt critisizing, i was just making light of it, cause its such an annoying cliche,

m

logic1

banned. << Fio >>

AngelofFire

i will spare you the moral lecture of what affect your possible suicide will have on your family and friends. but i am begging you not to do it.

its easy for me to say something like that i dont know what goes on inside your head or what type of a life you have.

believe me its not worth it. its just a permanent solution to a temporary problem.ive been in your situation before it was horrible but i got over it. i hope you are able to aswell.

ive lost 2 people close to me as a result of suicide. it kinda tought me not to think twice about doing it again.

but again your situation is different. just try to think about what you have. you were put on this planet for a reason. you`ll find happiness soon if you just hang in there.

popinfresh

Un, don't forget the golden rule. If You want to kill urself, it is because you do not understand urself. Depression is simply put an accumulation of sadness. Peoples main justification for suicide is as follows: People accumulate anger, sadness, despair. A selection of emotions. And do not express these feelings. Therefore leading to a seemingly ever ending world of pain. And they decide they'd rather not live than live like that. But remember. YOU ONLY WANT TO KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOURSELF!!!!. You have to understand how you work. If you feel like crying, then cry. If sometimes you feel like screaming, then do that, as intense as you can I might add. Etc.. Srry if my post seems like a load of garble/un-useful crap.

The Second

popinfresh... sort of like you sig...

sorry... I type then think!

maybe suicide works... we don't know.. haven't successfully done it!

but think of all the things you would be missing... maybe thats what is needed.. the ability to notice the things you are missing... you need a different view pont.

Councelers *I know I can't spell.. but I don't mind.. why should you?*...
suck... they are trained to listen... if all you needed was someone to listen and explain what you just said... you aren't stupid.

You need to find one thing that makes you happy.. and focus on that...

what makes you happy... there must be one thing? ... your homework for this week .. is to find something you like doing...

next weeks homework is to do what you like as much as possible... regardless of what it is... if it saves one life .. it may be worth the while...

there are so many great things out there... why throw them away cause you are stuck right now.. life can be a long thing if you let it be...

patiences is the key to happiness...

on a side note... *this is what makes me happy*.... if you observe other people... stops you of thinking of your own sorrows... people are very interesting to observe... plus you get ideas of what makes others happy...

what makes them happy is for a reason.. if it works for them.. why shouldn't it work for you?
sounds obvious.. but the best answers generally are.

DaithiSurfer

[edit]DaithiSurfer this is not the type of thing you post in a thread like this
banned for a week[/edit]
B

RopeDrink

Just like all the other times I drone on about ****ing suicide, I'll say it again...
Anyone who is truly suicidal and has some form of dislike and/or fear of pain wouldn't give a flying toss about it...

I hate pain myself, yet I managed to survive my three actual attempts, and learned quite a lot from the experience - But by no means am I saying to 'Go Out There And Try It'...

I had nothing / nobody / nowhere, yet now that I realise what I would have missed should my attempts have succeeded, I can only condemn myself for being so stupid at the time, despite the fact that I believed my motives and situation were most definately feesable at the time (mostly because of my disorientation, utter confusion, panic and the fact that there was nobody that I could even consider talking to at the time)

if there was a painless way of ending my life instantly i would do it now

Like I said, that's plain bollocks - So the stress of life for you is so harrowing that you are most definately prepared to end it, but only by a specific means!?
You're not suicidal, you're merely having a rough time and aren't sure if there are any methods of getting yourself out of it. Get off your ass and live.
If a situation is tough on you, get your train of thought going and figure out a 'sensible' way to get out of said situation. If people are being bastards to you, do the same thing and figure out a 'sensible' way of getting away from them. At the same time, revert your negative thoughts to that of what you could be spending your time doing. If you spent half as much time thinking about all the things avaliable to you out there then you did thinking about 'Oh how awful my life is' you'd already be on a winning streak.

i dont see a reason to live, everyone goes about their lives daily for a reason be it work, family, money, whatever. i dont have one of those reasons, never have ,never will. im worthless. im ****.

Two out of three of those things are not too hard to get... Of course you can't change your family, but they can be dealt with either by an attempt at some form of communication where you can vent your feelings and try to get them to understand, or a nice shiny chainsaw to the jugular.
As for the 'I'm worthless, I'm ****' bollocks, we all go through that at some stage, and if you're going to get any happiness at all it's when you realise this and fight to make it better. We all start at the bottom and work our way up - maybe you're just too lazy or lack any form of motivation, so perk yourself up, pout out that chest and hop to it, and if you try hard enough you'll get there - and that's when you're going to wonder why the **** you came on here and blurted all this crap out...

You might think I'm being harsh - Yes I am, but only mildly, because anyone going through this utter negativity needs a kick up the arse and a dose of reality to get yourself on the better road.

Gordon

Un, is there anything that you always wanted to do but couldn't do it? If so what is it?

Skud

ive put up with this **** my entire life

That's one of many problems you have (not addressed by the others for what i can see.) You should not and cannot put up with peoples **** if it affects you so greatly. About a month a go my freind commited suicide. I cannot comprehend what his family is going through leading up to christmas. His 14/15/16 year old brother found him lying in his room. The young man will never be the same again. Suicide is what some might say (not my opinion) the cowards ways out. You don't care about the people around you blah blah, this is true yeah but they need to care for you if you feel like this. Life is **** and tough. you are not alone... the fact that you posted here is a positive sign. Your willingness to talk highlights the essential need to get it out. I won't say you're not serious because that would be ludacris. For your own sake talk to someone. There's always someone to listen to you (friends, parents, strangers, clergymen[god forbid], organisiations, professional individuals)

LegacyUser

hi i have only skimmed through replies etc but i too was like you a few years ago, i am 27 slim build not ugly normal looking girl i have always been hated in every school workplace i went to i dont know why no one seems to like me i am very shy so maybe i put out negative vibes or something i dont know i have always had boyfriends though not a lot but a few long term relationships but girls have never liked me at themoment i have NO friends at all i am in a relationship and he knows i dont have any friends (naturally) i used to cry the whole itme and did consider suicide but like you i hate pain i have had counselling and feel a lot better for it, im not 100% and never will be but if people dont like me then they dont like me nothing i can do will change that so ive gotten used to it please phone the samaritans or get professional help and dont put yourself or your family through agony much asyou think they dont care they do i will check in a day or so take care

RopeDrink

the cowards ways out. You don't care about the people around you blah blah, this is true yeah but they need to care for you if you feel like this

I absolutely ****ing detest statements like that...
'Suicide is cowardly - Suicide is selfish'...
Absolute pile of steaming pulsating dog ****...

I guarantee you that the only people who state this are those who've never been so submerged in mental distress that they are willing to end their own life. There is no 'Oh, they're quitters' when it comes to a serious suicide case because said person is generally so mentally taxed that they haven't the capacity to make an effort to fight back seeing as (in their mind) it'd be impossible seeing as the entire world is against them and there is nothing positive in life. Those who are genuinly suicidal are blind, and retaliate by blinding those who are trying to help them. When asked whats wrong with them 'everything's fine', when asked if they want to talk about it 'There's nothing to talk about' (List goes on) - Basically they are shield themselves from the very things that'll help drag them out of their state because they are so deeply dragged into the imaginary world where everything is against them and life is pointless, hence 'there must be something wrong with me - nobody likes me - I don't belong here'.

On the other hand you have the people who turn around and just blatantly state 'Yes, I want to kill myself' which 9 times out of 10 is attention seeking, but can rarely be an honest remark...

The whole scenario is generally brought apon someone who experiences a long and continuous period of negativity in life (or one really BIG disaster or event), via a bad upbringing, physical / sexual abuse, racism and bullying, domestic violence etc etc

My suicidal tendancies were caused due to the continuous seige that my home was under by thieves and thugs - as well as my mother drinking problem and all the degrading things that were said and done to me by her - the fact that I became the benefactor of my younger sister whilst my mother was boozing her life down the toilet - the continuous racial and physical attacks on me by neighbours and relatives - My mother going into a permanant coma due to drink related liver failure which led to permanant brain damage - being drilled and accused by police, neighbours and the same thieves and thugs who stole all my belongings about how I 'BEAT MY MOTHER INTO A COMA' - My father then taking me and my sister over, and having to tolerate him going on about how he felt that 'I'M HIDING STUFF IN REGARDS TO WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MOTHER' - Being the one who found her lying in puddles of froth and blood the after the one day I decided to get away from the flats because of the stress, and then believing that it was my fault it happened because I wasn't there to stop it - The fact that I got disowned by a lot of so-called friends because they didn't want to be around a bloke with so much mental baggage - My family suddenly fueding with eachother over the whole situation, and some of them slating me / questioning me about my mother - my grandfathers sudden death after my mother's comatose and dad going into very very mild depression - the lack of any security over the course of five years of my life and many other things on top of that...

Did you think I was mentally capable of just sitting there and admitting I needed help? **** no, I was so mentally frail that I just clammed up and denied everything to the point where my head caved in on itself due to severe depression unto where I leapt off the third floor of the flats because I couldn't take it anymore.

People's perception of suicide will always be different, as are the reasons and situation in regards to people becoming suicidal, yet anyone who has been so down (And manages to fight through it) will become so much stronger mentally that they'll find out afterwards that it'll take quite a damn lot to phase them after having previously experienced such a struggle. The only thing selfish about suicide is the fact that if someone DOES kill themselves, they are denying themselves of that opportunity.

There are people in the world who have fewer limbs or organs that us, have no sight or hearing, are mentally / physically disabled, have experienced things FAR worse than you or I, and if they aren't dead by now then they are severely strong people, where as there are other people who are just too lazy to fight for some form of happiness in life, and bring the negativity on themselves and then start looking for attention because things aren't going the way they planned.

LIFE WILL ALWAYS TREAT YOU LIKE **** ON IT'S SHOE - IT'S UP TO YOU TO COPE WITH IT AND FIGHT BACK

LegacyUser

Edit - ecksor

star gazer

Suicide is a the ultimate statement of self hatred, it is quite often borne out of others telling you you are worthless, doing things to you that result in a great deal of shame or repeated losses that become so cumulative that you don't beleieve you can cope within the expectations of life you have set for yourself.
Suicide is the destruction of self, hardly selfish.

RopeDrink

Suicide is selfish you ****ing dip****.

Like me, you are entitled to your opinion - But at least I had the decency to back mine up with some thoughts rather than tag it with a pathetic one line insult.

So tough talking guy, explain why it IS selfish seeing as you've obviously got a MASSIVE clue about this topic.

FinalWord

Originally posted by RopeDrink
like i said, that's plain bollocks - So the stress of life for you is so harrowing that you are most definately prepared to end it, but only by a specific means!?
You're not suicidal, you're merely having a rough time

good post ropedrink, makes alot of sense, but just to be picky the whole your not suicidal i was gig doesn't wash, how the hell can u survive 3 attempts, if u followed your own rules about suicidal ppl not giving a damn about pain then u wouldn't be posting, theres lots of sure fire methods out there, head on railway track, shotgun in the mouth, jump off the cliffs of moher, tie a 200 foot rope to a tree, then round your neck, hop in a car and floor it, blah blah blah, the guy probably does feel so bad he doesn't want to be around anymore, but pain is a big turn off, thats why your still here after your 3 'attempts'

star gazer

People suffer a great deal in silence with no one to talk to, that's why so many say they feel so alone and feel they can't talk to anyone. The family and society they grew up in didn't lend them an understanding, respectful ear when they needed it and so a suicidal person can end up telling no one for a long time. When they finally do tell people, no one will believe them because the truth is they suffered just as much without telling anyone.
It is possible to be suicidal for extended periods of time (more than a month or even a year) intermitantly reporting suicidal thoughts is dismissed as a cry for help or looking for attention. Too many want to brush over such communication because they feel their life is troubled enough. Let me tell you from my experience there is nothing more difficult than trying to achieve anything than when you want to kill yourself. The psychology is self-destruction not accomplishment, in technical terms it's pi$$ing against the wind.
Try to have a little sympathy with those who talk of suicide a little education for any such person would open up avenues for those who are that bad and help those who don't realise what they are saying.
be nice

smiles

The Samaritans are a well trained group of volunteers available to talk to you about any problems or life grievances you wish to talk about. www.samaritans.org or email jo@samaritans.org to get trained samaritan help via email. Alternatively dial 1850-609090 to speak in privacy and confidentiality

To the original thread poster:
I'm sorry I have to close this thread, there's an upsurge in muppetry on this board and it's being pushed onto you, which is the last thing you need.

Life is worth living for, you touch hundreds of people's lives in the smallest ways every day and you'd be surprised at what you mean to other people.

I hope you're ok.

Fionnuala