Advice Needed

PopTart

Ok heres the thing there's this guy at work I like and i found out that he likes me to . He doesn't seem to be picking up on all my hints. We went to the cinema the last nite and we meet ppl from work outside and he got all shy and said he had to go. I don't want to frighten him away by being to up front but I don't want to miss out by not doing anything? I have never been in this situation before so any adivce given would be greatly appricated.

tinkerbell

Some guys are jus slow on doin things, useless at pickin up on our female hints, or are jus in a complete world of their own!

You gotta jus make the first move, since you are so sure he likes you, well ya got nothin to loose! And if you don't, well it sounds like maybe he's too shy to make any move for quite a while, so jus make a move now otherwise you'll drive yourself insane!

uberwolf

speaking as a guy, go for it. simple as that.

he prob knows you like him, he knows he likes you. He knows hes not going to be rejected and he's still afraid of being rejected. Go figure. Male mind.

seamus

Originally posted by PopTart
He doesn't seem to be picking up on all my hints.

He's not picking up on any of your hints. He's male. Note to women: Don't be subtle. We don't get it.

I don't want to frighten him away by being to up front but I don't want to miss out by not doing anything?

Be up front. If he's shy, he'll be delighted if you make the first move.

Beruthiel

as seamus said, blokes don't get hints, end of story

you will actually have to come right out and say it

PopTart

I don't have a clue what to say.....
How can I phrase it without sounding like a twat!
I really like you , do you like me!

D!ve^Bomb!

ask if he wants to go the cinema again, and while ur there, hop ontop of him,, if he likes u then he wont mind,, problem solved

tinkerbell

teehee, classic reply newband - i agree with ya 100% there!

go for it girlie, you both like each other, so you've no excuse not to jump him!

PopTart

Thats all easier said then done ... I'm pretty shy when it comes to showing my feelings .... I think I'd need a good few drinks in me before I could jump him actually more like an entire brewery...
Why doesn't he just have a mobile and I could text him... I'm a whole lot braver behind a screen

Lex_Diamonds

Post- It notes!

PopTart

So is the generally consenses that I just jump him..........
Please tell me someone has a better idea then that.....
I'm to much of a chicken to do that

Beruthiel

just ask him out again, take it from there

Wolf

Originally posted by Lex_Diamonds
Post- It notes!

ROFL

yes that kind of hint might work.


On his forhead.


In mirror writing.

Seriouly tho just say somin like "I really like you and I want to kiss you" Guys like that sorta thing I swear.

patch

Why doesn't the guy have a mobile? That's surely a tad odd in this day and age.

I reckon if your both shy, your chance will be when you ask him where he went after the cinema. Just tell him your going again friday, and ask is he coming this time.
The chances of meeting people from work again are slim, so drag him off to the pub and let alcohol take it's course!

Wolf

Originally posted by patch
so drag him off to the pub and let alcohol take it's course!

Is that not a form of date rape ?:(

PopTart

The reason he doesn't have a mobile is it was stolen about a month ago.
One of the girls from work was talking to him and he swears he is getting one this weekend.
I think cinema is going to be my best bet . Now I'm getting all nervous again

][cEMAN**

This may sound sexist - I entirely don't mean for it to be but sometimes I word things wrong....

The best thing to come out of 'femanism' and the idea of gender equality imo, is emotional equality. The fact that people are now realising that some men can be shy and some women can be assertive. There are too many gender based stereotypes these days. Yes there will always be differences based on physical attributes, but generally we all feel the same way.

Though as for this guy in work - how did you end up in the cinema to begin with? Who asked who? If he asked you, just ask him back in EXACTLY the same way he asked you. If you asked him - just do it again. When you get out of work and into a non formal enviroment it will be easier to move on with him. If the cinema doesn't work, try a drink in a bar. Maybe you're both just too on edge to relax enough to let it go. You don't have to say anything. You just have to let it happen. If you feel awkward, just keep doing that thing of getting closer and closer until you're both kissing. That's always a good last resort

PopTart

every sunday nite we all go for a drink after work. I was really tried sunday and didn't feel up to the pub so I said I wasn't going . Someone must have told him cause he asked if I felt up to going to the cinema. It actually fact I didn't but because it was him Asking I went....
So I'll ask him next sunday nite at least everyone from work should be in the pub (hopefully)

smiles

Go to the cinema with him.
Sit beside him (obviously).

At some stage during the film hold eyecontact for longer than is strictly necessary, and smile, bit your lip, look down and take his hand (or just stretch out yours towards him and see if he takes it) while looking at him almost wishfully (works like a charm).

It's simple, easy and should be blatent enough to get the message across.

<< Fio >>

Occidental

Originally posted by PopTart
Someone must have told him cause he asked if I felt up to going to the cinema. It actually fact I didn't but because it was him Asking I went....

For some(most) blokes this would be akin to making the first move. If you want to give him some encouragement, but are afraid to ask him, just wait until you leave the pub on Sunday night, give him a kiss on the cheek, smile and leg it.

BTW, as said above, men don't do subtle, anything short of a house brick in the head will pass us by.

LoneGunM@n

Try and go out with him on your own [i.e. not to the pub with friends], as in your first post you said that he got shy when you met your work friends ...

Plus, as said by others ... us men a completely oblivious to most hints by women ... be blunt

][cEMAN**

Originally posted by smiles
Go to the cinema with him.

At some stage during the film hold eyecontact

OK lets picture this situation...

<gall>"Hey"
<guy>"Shhhhh"
<gall>"hey"
<guy>"will you please be quiet...i'm trying to watch the film"
<gall>"I'm trying to get eye contact with you"
<guy>"What? Look - i'm trying to watch the film"
<gall>"*huff* you just don't understand me"

Originally posted by smiles
At some stage during the film hold eyecontact for longer than is strictly necessary, and smile, bit your lip, look down and take his hand (or just stretch out yours towards him and see if he takes it) while looking at him almost wishfully (works like a charm).

I tried that once....got some funny looks from the guy who was sitting next to me. I didn't know him, so I suppose I can't blame him for beating the crap out of me

Macseamusa

that bloke kinda sounds a bit like me( its not me cos i dont know who u are) but anyway. he was probably kicking himself when he said he had to leave. so he is most likely gagging up for a second chance. He may ask u out again but is probably too shy to actually make the move, so in the cinema take his hand before u jump him, giving him advandced notice of what is about to happen, worked for me.

Billy Turdhed

What is the world coming to?

You like the guy....he likes you? You can't get it on!

What do you want ....a gilt edged invitation....

The plan... the cinema...a weepie.... start sobbing and whimpering

unless hes gay................... bingo


Easy Peasy....

Leave it to Bill:D

chill

Originally posted by PopTart
He asked if I felt up to going to the cinema.

Imho that MUST be a good thing. Even a first move.

My advice is don't rush it. If you're not sure I perfectly understand. You might be afraid of doing the wrong thing and there being a fallout at work. There's no point in people denying this is a real fear.

Nevertheless I suggest keeping up the conversation with him, invite him to the cinema or the pub and let things happen. Anxiety and impatience are the biggest obstacle imho.

If he says yes to these things then there is no doubt he is interested. After that the right moment will arrive and you'll lok back and laugh. If it doesn't then you won't have lost anything except disappointment, painful as it is. Then you have to move on because we simply have to

.

ColinM

Originally posted by PopTart
I don't have a clue what to say.....
How can I phrase it without sounding like a twat!
I really like you , do you like me!

Yes! Stop bolliking about and just come out with it, goddammit!! Why bother trying to "get messages across" through any subtle means when you can just say what you mean clearly with that simple sentence?

With any other method, you leave your actions open to interpretation. If he is shy his neuroses may convince him that any amorous gesture you make towards him couldn't really mean what you mean it to. Even if he reciprocates the gesture to you, you may still not be sure what he wants.

Just cut to the chase, tell him you like him and post back here to tell us his reaction - and be quick about it now!

PopTart

Well your all going to have to wait cause i wouldn't see him till i get back to work on friday nite. But I will take all your advice and put it into action . Wish me luck I'll let you know how it goes.

ps someone asked how I know he likes me.
I told a girl at work that i liked him and she went into a fit and told me he had said the same thing about me the day before.
It is an encouraging thought

Beruthiel

always remember poptart

you'll be a long time dead
a