Best Chat Up Lines

dendens

I know ''Is that a ladder in you tights or a stairway to heaven'' is an old one but what are the cheesiest and the funniest you have used?

Lord Khan

PLEASE Monty Lock this thread before it gets started... we've all seen the list of chat up lines ... it's just gonna be a few minutes before some idiot pastes the entire thing in here

SantaHoe

Chatup lines? oh god no.

"Hey *****, get on your knees so I can **** you like a pig."
Charming.

LegacyUser

/me turns to lady "hey lady here's 20p tell ur mother u aint comin home to night"/lady turns and smacks me

dendens

Hey Kahn, I did'nt mean tyo start a reptetive thread.What threads are acceptable and not acceptable lads?

FreaK_BrutheR

/me looks at todger. Well its not gonna suck itself girl.

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_________________________
<A HREF="http://homepage.eircom.net/~cullenm&quot; TARGET=_blank>

</A>
http://run.to/pile

[This message has been edited by FreaK_BrutheR (edited 29-11-2000).]

Q_Ball

/me turns to girls friend

me : "Would u like to dane?"

girl 1 : "Yea sure why not"

me : "Well good then, now píss off so i
can "talk" to your friend"

teeheehee, slaps all round

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Sweeet

[This message has been edited by Q_Ball (edited 29-11-2000).]

Cake Fiend

Well at least no-one's going to ask why it's not on the Humour board...

Slosh

Get your coat, you've pulled...

Hobbes

Where is the Sid the Sexist quotes when you need them?

"What speaks French and likes *******s?"
"what?"
"Moi!"

Bard

Originally posted by dendens:
Hey Kahn, I did'nt mean tyo start a reptetive thread.What threads are acceptable and not acceptable lads?

Common sense should prevail and tell you pretty much what is crap, annoying and tedious and what is not.

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Lord Khan

Originally posted by Slosh:
Get your coat, you've pulled...

Originally posted by Jak:
Get my Coat, You've pulled ...

Great minds think a like ... fools seldom differ?

I've heard of reposting but isn't this a bit exterme :-)

[This message has been edited by Lord Khan (edited 30-11-2000).]

C B

Khan maybe you should read more carefully

Canaboid

Sid the Sexist ay ?

D'yu loike jewelry pet ?
Well suck me c0ck its a gem.

or

D'yu loike fruit ?
blah blah balh, its a peach.

Bullitt

1. Bond, James Bond.
2. if i was to ask you for sex would your answer be the same as the answer to this question ?




[This message has been edited by Bullitt (edited 30-11-2000).]

Slosh

Lol.. nice1 Andy

dendens

I kow its common sense but people dont know who are new to the board,what topics are par for the norm and what is'nt?

Shiminay

Well - I've seen this been used and it works (Slosh - remember after one of the days at dubLAN last year and we were in Sinnots?)
It's called the Viking Manoeuvre and it's been trademarked by Alastair/Trojan
You walk up to the nice lookin' girl. Grab her by the ass and snog her before she knows what's going on.

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All the best,

Greenbean

I think its very rude to ask people not to post topics just because they've been done before.

<Bond girl>Do you not like brunnettes?
<Bond>As long as cuffs and collars match I don't mind.

Kegser

'Is that a snake in your pocket or are you just glad to see me....'

Oh no wait a second... that's the one I use in the George.... and it never works

Jak

Get my Coat, You've pulled ...

Bard

Originally posted by dendens:
I kow its common sense but people dont know who are new to the board,what topics are par for the norm and what is'nt?

and that has got... what... to do with common sense?

Welcome a"board" !

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SantaHoe

Lads, just play hard to get, then if some girl comes over making small talk... throw your drink in her face. (or better yet her drink)

Why not spread rejection around a bit ey?

Bard

Originally posted by Kegser:
'Is that a snake in your pocket or are you just glad to see me....'

Oh no wait a second... that's the one I use in the George.... and it never works

Why's that...? Do they actually have snakes in their pockets then?

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--Kaiser--

Well here are some Austin Powers chat-lines that everyone has seen before but anyway:

1. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)....
Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

3. Nice legs...what time do they open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

10. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

11. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

12. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

13. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

14. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven

15. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

20. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

21. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

22. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

23. My name is Austin ... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

24. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

25. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

26. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

27. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

28. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

29. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

30. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

dendens

I'll ahve to stopmposting ****e

D-Generate

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Q_Ball:
/me turns to girls friend

me : "Would u like to dane?"

girl 1 : "Yea sure why not"

me : "Well good then, now píss off so i
can "talk" to your friend"

teeheehee, slaps all round

</font>

I heard this b4 but it was

me: Would you like to dance

Girl: No

me: Oh sorry, i think you misheard me, i said i think you look fat in those pants.

BogOak

Try this one. Takes a bit of practise but always works:

Hi, my name is John Murphy. I come from Navan. I like reading and playing football. I have two brothers and one sister. My father is a farmer and my mother is a housewife. I often help my father out on the farm for a bit of extra pocket money. I usually buy clothes or c.d.s. I hope to study archaeology and become an archeologist. Would you like to be my friend?

Tried it out in the Pod last Saturday and I don't think I even have to say, I immediately got an erection, went straight home and had probably the best **** of the last two weeks. Result!

BigOne

Lograce

So how's the beaver sorted for a lodger...?

SMACK

Lograce

And leave dendens alone, he asked a question and got a bloody good response...sorted

LEICESTER 3-1 LEEDS UTD

Wyverne

HOW U DOIN *EVIL GRIN*

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Im Going to Thrash you to within an Inch of your Life.....................
AND THEN TAKE THAT INCH!!!!

Lord Khan

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by C B:
Khan maybe you should read more carefully</font>

Yes and maybe you should too..

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">fools seldom differ</font>

that was directed at the slight difference

sixpack's little hat

How's your belly for a lodger.

How's your **** for love bites.
Try them if you dare

[SN]JAG

Excuse me miss do you have a shovel?

no, i suppose your gonna say cos i really dig you?

No, what i was gonna say was i fancy burying my face in your chest.

!!!!SLAP!!!!

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