Full metal jackets quotes

Kazu

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy ****ing walrus-looking piece of ****! Get the **** off of my obstacle! Get the **** down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!

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Private Joker: The dead know only one thing: it's better to be alive.

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Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?
Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Today you people are no longer maggots. Today you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on ******s, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked **** that high.

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Private Joker: Leonard, if Hartman finds us here, we'll be in a world of ****.
Private Gomer Pyle: I *am*... in a world... of ****.

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Private Eightball: I guess they'd rather be alive than free. Poor dumb bastards.

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Private Eightball: Personally, I think, uh ... they don't really want to be involved in this war. You know, I mean ... they sort of took away our freedom and gave it to the, to the gookers, you know. But they don't want it. They'd rather be alive than free, I guess. Poor dumb bastards.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Jesus Christ Pyle, don't try too hard. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there, wouldn't he?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Were you born worthless, or did you have to work at it?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would **** a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: A rifle is only a tool. It's a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead Marines. And then you will be in a world of ****. Because Marines are not allowed to die without permission! Do you maggots understand?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three ****in' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull **** you!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Bull****! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Pyle, you had best un**** yourself and start ****ting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely **** you up!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people ****!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over!

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Private Cowboy: You know there's not a single horse in the entire country of Vietnam? There's definitely something wrong with that.

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Private Cowboy: I think what she's trying to say is that you black boys pack too much meat.

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Private Joker: I wanted to meet stimulating and interesting people of an ancient culture, and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.

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Animal Mother: If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.

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Private Joker: A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.

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Door Gunner: Anyone who runs is V.C. Anyone who stands still is well-disciplined V.C.

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Private Joker: How can you shoot women and children?
Door Gunner: Easy... you don't lead 'em so much.
[laughs]
Door Gunner: Ain't war hell?!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and **** my sister.

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Private Joker: I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister. What'll you take in trade?
Private Cowboy: What do you got?

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Da Nang Hooker: Hey, you got girlfriend Vietnam? Me so horny. Me love you long time.

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Private Eightball: What we have here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake. But it ain't too goddamned beau coup.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?
Private Joker: Sir, no sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Well Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly!
Private Joker: Sir, the private said "no sir," sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit!
[Slaps Joker]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: You goddamned communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out!

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Marines: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

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Marines: [Chanting] This is my rifle.
[Grabbing their crotches.]
Marines: This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Who the **** said that? Who's the slimy little communist ****, tinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy ****ing godmother said it! Out-****ing-standing!

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rymus

at the moment I'm not really seeing how quotes from an odd and rather disturbing movie such as full metal jacket can be considered humourous... maybe that'll change in the morning. I'll be sure to post again if it does.

Ohh and not that I read it, but the find function in IE assures me that the classic "I bet you like to suck dick boy, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose" isnt in there. Shame on you

hedgetrimmer

Move this to Movies maybe?

Vader

couldnt be arsed reading them all, yes it is a disturbing film but the funniest moment, its probably there, "Only queers and steers come from Texas and you sure aint a steer"

BioHazRd

Definitely not humorous

<moved>

Bio

quank

*sniff i thought they were funny


Full Metal Jacket is one of the best war films around.... while still being funny

smiaras

This post has been deleted.

Oswald Osbourne

Originally posted by BioHazRd
Definitely not humorous

Hell I like you! You can come over to my house and **** my sister.

Chad ghostal

R lee ermy
he was an actual drill seargent/marine in vietnam ..
hes been a drill seargent (or just a hardass) in pretty much every movie hes been in,
he was in spiderman, the frightners, simpsons, toy story and TCM just off the top of my head.. hes been in a crap load.. .
look in imdb ..
excellent film by the by.

Kai

Maybe im just strange but i think
Private Joker: I wanted to meet stimulating and interesting people of an ancient culture, and kill them.
Is ****in hilarious

Retr0gamer

The drill instructor was in the pilot of Space above and beynd.

He was suposed to be the military adviser for the film but was selected as the drill instructor after kubrick saw a video of him training to teach while tennis balls were thrown at him

yellum

Great quotes.

joseph brand

Very good!

What a film eh? Don't make 'em like they used to.

Full Metal Jacket is like two films in one. Love the creepy music at end when they looking for sniper in tower!

M I C, K E Y M O U S E!!!

Ichiro

What every young Irish male should be doing get them off the streets


Oh and the quote from the editor can't rem how it goes
to the photographer " ...... oh and i wanna see early morning dew ...."

Classic