Words (Poem)

The_Scary_Man

I watch them form upon the page,
these shapes beneath my hand.
Expressions of apathy, love and rage,
I don't yet understand.
I struggle to follow the ebb and flow,
the direction they may take.
Someone whispers 'You should know.'
I don't for pity's sake.
I recognise not verse nor style,
don't know from where they come.
And yet they appear before my eyes,
and laugh at me when done.
I close my eyes and look inside,
in search of sign or clue.
The voice says 'Don't you recognise?
These words they flow from you.'

Ivan

Nice one.

catspring

i really like this poem
completely understand what you mean too.
you get a gold star from me

The_Scary_Man

Cheers Lads

DriftingRain

Awwwww...That was GREAT!

If you have more you should share them with us!

BEAT

That really was a nice one, but I would try to make it longer, since it is about words..and oh how so many words there are to express ourselves

it's a virtual endless world when it comes to words...how they stir and inspire me
the words the fill me with joy, sadness and regret,
it's a wonder that more people hav'nt learned yet...that the feelings they have deep down in thier soul can make them or break them but in the end, it all comes out in words.

Babygirl

Err... that was kinda sh!t. Sorry dear.

The_Scary_Man

At least tell me why you thought it was ****. It doesn't bother me if people think its **** but if you could point out what you felt was weak about it it might help.

DriftingRain

Err... that was kinda sh!t. Sorry dear.

I think thats terrible!

I think it was great The_Scary_Man!! And I agree that it can keep going. You've such a flow with it!

bugler

The problem with posting up your own work here is that you invite the opinions of people who have little more than cabbage for brains as well as competent, reasonable people.

ScaryMan, as you hopefully already know you'd do well to take whatever anyone says about your work on board, but not too much so. A healthy dose of self-belief (some would say arrogance - I wouldn't ) when it comes to your own work is a necessity.

You shouldn't even bother to engage babygirl in conversation. If she didn't even have the courtesy to refrain from using foul language in her ill-conceived, arbitrary post then you shouldn't even acknowledge her. Hopefully she'll have her post deleted and be banned on the grounds of muppetry. I think it should become a rule (either chartered or unspoken..I suppose unspoken doesn't have much use in an online context..) that if criticising someones work (which of course is perfectly acceptable) then at least a cursory explanation should be given. Keep the mongoloids at bay.

I liked it..it's easy to relate to, it has a sort of lighthearted aura, and made me smile.

The_Scary_Man

Thanks bugler and DriftingRain and BEAT I think I'll take your advice the more I look at it the more I think it looks unfinished.

I don't mind people criticising me at all, I take it with a pinch of salt. I'm under no delusion as to how well I write.

I just write for fun, like, I imagine most people on this forum and it would take a lot more than a few negative comments from someone I don't even know to stop me.

I just hope that babygirls comments don't put anyone who is thinking of posting on this forum off because I really enjoy reading the work posted here.

Toot on son, toot on!

CuLT

Originally posted by The_Scary_Man
Thanks bugler and DriftingRain and BEAT I think I'll take your advice the more I look at it the more I think it looks unfinished.

I *HATE* it when I think I haven't finished something that I've already shown to other people .

Excellently written poem, great use of language, all seems to slot neatly into place.

A poem that makes someone think, it matters little what about, is a sign of strong ability in my books. Good job .

MojoMaker

I'm a frequent reader of this particular board, don't post much. But I'd like to say that's probably the best piece of honest writing I've seen here yet. Doesn't appear contrived, doesn't try to be sensationalist nor alarmist. Is not emotional in any way, doesn't come across as cliched. Doesn't even try to provoke a reaction from the reader, because it doesn't have to. Nice work. Simple & nice.