aaaahhhhhh.. that sweet net connection hits the veins

amp

Those cheerful folks at Telecom^H^H^H^H^H^H
um I mean Eircom, cut me off. I recently moved a new flat and didn't have a previous bill, so I need the account number to pay what was owed, I also wanted to get the name changed to my own, but apparently the previous bill holder has to do that:

ME: Ok fair enough what's the account number?
Eircom: I can't tell you.
M: uh why?
E: Because it's confidential information.
M: I just want to pay the bill and get reconnected!
E: I can't give you that information I'm sorry. Would you like it if I gave your account information to anybody?
M: Oh, are you getting people ringing in complaining that somebodies paying their bill on the sly?
E: There's no need to take that attitude.
M: I CAN'T DO ANY HARM! IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN WITHDRAW MONEY ON THE NUMBER!

So I hang up. Strangley the next day a bill arrives in the post and I pay it via Aib 24hr banking. I ring accounts again and wait for 20 minutes before I get through.

ME: Howdy! I'd like to get reconnected please.
E: Reconnected? Is this your first phone?
M: Uh, no. I was um... away and was disconnected.
E: If you're disconnected then how are you talking to me.
M: (??????) Through my mobile phone.
E: And is there a phone there?
M: Yes, it's a lovely beige Slaney phone with lots of buttons.
E: Please hold.

So I think she's punishing me here for being smart and I spend a good five minutes on hold. I don't mind cos I'm watching the simpsons and I've plenty of juice left in the mobile.

E: So when were you cut off?
M: I don't know, I was away.
E: Was it the 3rd of September?

[Christ!!! I just said I don't know!!!]

M: Uh probably
E: Well you'll need to pay the bill first.
M: I just have.
E: When?
M: About an hour ago, through AIB 24hr banking.
E: From which bank?

[I am going to kill you slowly]

M: That'd be AIB. Look I just chucked 166 pounds and 12 pence into account number xxxxxxx (I'm not telling anybody in case they pay it )
E: Please hold

More punishment, Homer frollics through some drug crazed chocolate wonderland. I light up and sing along.

E: Ok we'll reconnect you.
M: Thanks very much, you've been a great help thank you!!

But I lay off asking her to marry me just in case she wants to put me on hold again.

Total time to pay bill - 3 minutes
Total time to get reconnected - 1hr 10mins

Eircom - Hey we're not just the phone company, we'll mess with yer head to!!

Hecate

thats whats called "standard procedure"

FreaK_BrutheR

hehe enjoyable reading that....lifts the huge chip of paranoia off my shoulders...i thought all you cvnts were getting a service ffs!

Monty - the one and only

They keep sending me bills even though I disconnected from them over 6 months ago.
I did tell them. Damn b!tches.

---

Soon you will call me MASTER

WhiteWashMan

here amp,
sure what do you know, im still paying your phone bill
or should that be the phone bill in yer name!
oh the irony of it!

amp

Oh yeah, hahahhahahahaha, I forgot!!!

Gyck

Hee hee!

Well told! I love phones, and new phone companies!

You'd think that with the money the government made on the sale of Telecom that they could stand you the bill... just for old times sakes?

TwoShedsJackson

Not to worry Amp, soon you'll have a nice fast, ISDN connection. Or at least I will, in your name, at yer old gaff Oh the irony of that, not to mention the goldy and the bronzey.

amp

YOU BE NICE TO ME!!!

As the named person on that contract I can disconnect you at anytime (That is after spending 3 hours explaining what a phone is to Eircom)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

amp - who's gonna wait for cable, and wait, and wait....